Quite the little event our Grand Opening turned out to be, eh ladies?
And as Toni says, I use that term without the slightest regard for its veracity. In fact if last weekend proved anything it is that you are all certainly wild and crazed bitches. And perhaps one or two of you can pick a soup spoon out of a lineup. But ladies? Even Joan would see the humor in that!
Of course if the point needed to be driven home, KellyAnne certainly did so. Really? You slapped me? Without provocation? From behind? A frickin Sunday punch? Just because I'm a thousand times prettier and sexier and hotter than you could ever be? Hon... You definitely moved up two places on my list of "ladies in waiting for a beat-down."
Lydia as always was a vision. And I don't mean that in any catty sense. Frankly the tension between Lydia and Thelma was a serious distraction for a gal with a tray loaded with champagne flutes. I almost tripped over Rita; that big bitch is fun to look at but she can be hard to squeeze around. Her ass gave me a better rub in passing than Toni has in two weeks. Just sayin.
Really, it was a pleasure to meet and greet all of you. Tilda. Suzanne. Beth! It's been ages -- eons -- since you and I have had a turn round the ring. Time to revisit that relationship. Even KellyAnne (with whom I've had a few preliminary conversations about ways to relieve this insecurity she seems to have about me). The sheer scent and sight of all of you, strong, voluptuous, bold, demanding Alphas congregating in one room for a catbrawl to end all catbrawls -- well. That and the occasional glimpse of Joan flaunting her barely contained jugs at anyone who would look -- I was literally boiling.
Luckily more than a few of you were nice enough to leave some lipstick on my own exposed bosom.
