[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--my name is Kerry.  I'm a 38 year old sort-of-happily-married working mom in the suburbs.  I have a problem I need your help with.  I live in the town I grew up in, and a few weeks ago, at one of my kid's baseball games, I saw another parent in the stands named Gary.  I hadn't seen Gary for 16 years, back when we were in college.  Gary and I dated.  Well, we didn't really date.  We were fuck buddies, I'd guess you call it.  We couldn't date.  Because he was dating someone else.  No problem, you might say--we're all grownups here.  But here's the thing.  Gary's wife, Beth, is the same woman that he was dating back when he and I were sleeping together.  My question for you is this:  how do I approach Gary and/or Beth now?  Avoiding them forever isn't an option--we both now own property here, and our kids will be seeing each other constantly in sports and school.  I have to talk to them. I guess my question is, will Beth and I inevitably fight.  She and I are about the same size and build.

Dear Kerry--whether you and Beth fight depends on whether one of you is willing to lose face.  Beth will find out one way or another about you and Gary.  Either he has already confessed, or he will.  Given that he moved back to your hometown, I'm guessing the former, perhaps even before he and Beth married.  In which case, Beth is already daring you to do one of two things--admit she won him, or come forward now.  So, you can either accept your role as the discarded woman, or own what you did, unapologetically.  If you choose the latter, then she must either acknowledge you got free side action for a time, or gloat in her triumph.  Is this making sense?  One of you will slink away, or a fight will happen.  I'm predicting a fight--there is more honor in slinking away after a fight than before.  Do not underestimate Beth.  But do not be afraid either.  Good luck.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--my name is Beth, and I wanted to organize my thoughts and feelings by getting them down on paper via a letter to you.  I'm a 39 year old happily married mom who just moved out to the suburbs to give a better school and sports life to my two children.  And to do one other thing.  To settle an old score.  I have an enemy named Kerry.  When I was in my early twenties, my career-military dad arranged for me to start dating a young man named Gary.  Gary and I were young, and more importantly, very much under the influence of our very strong parents.  Rather than having a relationship which developed organically, we both felt very strong parental pressure to go on a first date, then a second, then a third, etc.  Gary was cute and smart and all, but dear old dad came from a tradition that you be engaged by the time you graduate college.  That date was rapidly approaching for me, and although I was plenty pretty and smart enough to attract a man, dad was expecting to see a ring, and when Gary offered one, I succumbed to the parental pressure and accepted.

Gary was succumbing to pressure in another way.  After a picture book wedding and a first child, dead old dad suddenly died about 3 years later.  And Gary came forward with a confession, one he was understandably terrified to give while my dad was alive.  During our whirlwind dating and our short engagement, Gary had been having an affair with a slut from his hometown named Kerry.  Hindsight is always 20/20, but I had always has suspicions about her.  She could never meet my eyes when we were at events together.  I went thru the 5 stages of grief, but in the end couldn't bear raising a child without my dad and without my husband.  Plus, I didn't want Kerry to get Gary.  Gary and I touched it out, and we grew to genuinely love each other--a love which was not, and never could, be there while my dad was alive.

So, everyone lived happily after, right?  Not really.  Gary and I were living in a town with a terrible school district, and our 2 children were falling behind academically, athletically, and socially.  The solution was the elephant in the room:  move to Gary's hometown, with their fantastic schools.  But SHE lives there.  My nemesis.  My former rival.  My enemy Kerry.  The unscratched itch from the most painful period of my life. 

I had Gary re-establish old friendships, and an irresistible deal on a house came up.  I made Gary take it.  And we moved.  And we love it--the kids even more so.

They say "living well is the best revenge".  They're wrong.  Living well isn't enough for me.  Kerry lives in town.  She has kids in school with my kids, so we'll be running into each other constantly.  And my leaving is not an option--not while my kids are still in school.  Kerry needs to leave.  I want her out.

Kim, I now realize I'm not asking you a question.  I need to face her, and demand she leave town.  Thank you.


Dear Beth--a woman after my own heart.  Best of luck.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim,  This is a you-were-right letter.  I'm Kerry, the woman who wrote you last week about my new, not-so-welcome neighbor Beth.  You said we would fight.  You were right.  We had a run-in yesterday at the town waterpark.  Or, I should say, in the women's showers of the town waterpark.  I was in my tiniest bikini, enjoying some alone sun time before school gets out.  I took a mid-day swim, went to the showers to use the rest room, stepped into the showers to rinse the chlorine out of my hair, and felt a woman's body come up behind me, one set of nails in my hair, the other grabbing my right wrist, and a woman's mouth up in my ear, preventing my head from turning.  Part of me knew right away who it was.  I don't remember the exact words, but I heard Beth's voice exactly the same as it was back in college--bitchy as I remembered.  She said, in effect, that she knew everything about Gary and me, and that she was ready now to "set things straight", or something like that.  I didn't expect an all-out brawl right there--there were about 5 other women and staff in the shower, who started looking over after 45 seconds of Beth giving me an earful.  Right on cue, she broke her grip and exited, leaving me alone with my unrequited anger.  My question for you:  cat-and-mouse chapter 2, or bring this to a head.

Dear Kerry--the tension between the two of you is like a coiled spring; I'm not sure the answer is fully in your hands at this point.  But you're on the right track, not seeking a way out.  That bodes well for you for the ending of this fun, likely before summer ends.  Good luck.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--it's me, Beth, again.  You told me I'm a woman after your own heart, but I don't have as much experience as you with the whole confrontation thing.  I saw Kerry at the town waterpark a couple of days ago.  She was tanning herself in a bikini, and I saw her retreat to the showers.  My intention was to coolly "tell her the score"--that I was going to be around town a lot now, and the least uncomfortable thing for both of us would be for her to live somewhere else.  But, Kim, my hormones got the best of me.  As soon as I saw and touched her toned body, her well-coiffed brown hair, her soft wrists, her long legs--well, I felt jealousy and fear all at once.  Jealousy that my husband Gary had touched her 16 years ago; fear of what I will do to her if we fight.  I masked my emotions with some corny trash talk that I can't recall, and wouldn't repeat to you even if I could.  Kim, how to I keep my cool when I fight Kerry?

Dear Beth--you describe hormones kicking in, but I suspect that was actually adrenaline.  It's nature's way of protecting yourself in a fight, so don't resist it, but channel it.  Easier said than done, but it can be done.  Just go with it.  But be aware that Kerry's adrenaline will be flowing, too.  So no words you used at the waterpark would have made her slink away--I think the two of you are both past that point.  If you want a verbal confrontation with her, do it by phone, or somewhere not in person.  If you confront each other in person, well, as you've seen, events will be controlling the two of you, not the other way around. 

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kerry and Beth--This is Kim.  I'm writing to the two of you ladies for 2 reasons.  First, I must disclose to both of you that over the course of the past few weeks, I have been giving advice to both of you.  Given where the relationship between the two of you is headed, this is a textbook conflict of interest, which I am hereby disclosing to both of you.  I am more than happy to continue communicating, but I will not take sides.
Secondly, I almost never do this, but I have never come across two women who need to battle it out as badly as you two do, and I don't want to read about the consequences in the paper or on the Internet.  I have an offer for you both.  I am willing to arrange and host a fight, at a place and with rules mutually agreeable, where neither of you need to worry about spectators, or getting home afterwards.  I understand if you would prefer for events to play out, but am offering my experience to each of you, as I "like the cut of your jib", as my grandfather used to say.
Awaiting your reply--Kim.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--It's Kerry.  Short answer:  Heck, yes, count me in.  Long answer:  since you offered to arrange a fight between Beth and me, I've thought of almost nothing else.  I'm frisky as a college girl on spring break.  You mentioned rules.  I'm quite indifferent to the rules, but have a request as to attire.  When Beth jumped me, we were in bikinis.  I feel like that fight should have happened.  I'd like to pick up where we left off.  But most of all, yes, help this fight to happen.  My kids are at camp all next week and my husband is overseas.  I'm free.  Let's do this.

Dear Kim--it's Beth.  Perhaps I've underestimated Kerry.  She reads your fight advice column too?  I would have never thought that.  You have my permission to arrange a fight.  But know this.  I consider myself free to confront Kerry at a place and time of my choosing.  We all know there will be no rules, so don't bother on that one.  You're free to arrange a time and place.  But so am I.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kerry and Beth--This is Kim.  Thank you for your prompt replies to my invitation.  I have secured access, after hours, to a gym in your area for next Tuesday--bring your bikinis, you can change there.  Kerry, you indicated that you're a bachelorette next week, so this gives  you a full week to heal from whatever damage Beth inflicts on you.  Beth, you've been ominously silent on your summer living arrangements and somewhat curt in your notes, but to each her own.  Beth, you've also alluded to the possibility of a confrontation before next Tuesday.  Ladies, I do not recommend this.  You've both proven your point.  Beth, you have an unresolved romantic issue from 15 years ago, and a new and promising future with your family.  You have a chance to fix the past next Tuesday.  My advice to you now is to leave well enough alone and wait out the week.  Resist any urges you are having to "jump" Kerry before then, if not for yourself, then for me.  Kerry, I admire your spunk.  Now, time to get real.  I know you are imagining your fight with Beth.  Now, forget everything you imagined.  It will be unlike fights you've had in the past, even over guys, since there are school districts at stake here.  Women fighting over property values and educational access are a whole different level of crazy.  I tell you this since you've lived in the same town your whole life.  Beth has seen the other side of the tracks--dead-end schools, meth-in-the-bathtub neighbors, chained barking dogs in the yard, streets you can't let the kids ride their bikes in.  Nothing makes a woman feel she's let her family down more than going to bed at night in those conditions.  Beth wants to avoid that future for herself, and sentence you to it.  She's going to come after you hard until a future in your hometown is so unimaginable that you feel you have no option.  Now, I don't say this to scare you.  If you've been reading my column all these years, you're already 90% prepared, as you proved by immediately turning to me when you saw Gary at the baseball field a few weeks ago.  Sometimes, just showing for the fight is enough.  This is not one of those situations.  Good luck to both of you.

Dear Kerry--it's Beth.  I drove past your house today.  With no particular place, or should I say, with oh, so many plans.  If your husband was home alone, I was going to let him have my body.  If you were both home, I was going to say hi to you in front of him and let you squirm.  And, if you were home alone, we'll then, oh honey, what a beating I would have given you.  Nobody was home.  Oh well.  But, Kerry, the rush I got--I'm going to direct all that at you next Tuesday.  I drove my your house, but I'm the new neighbor.  Isn't a visit from you lllllonnng overdue?  xoxoxo

Dear Kim--it's Kerry.  Like you predicted, Beth has at least once tried to bait me into a fight before our arranged fight.  Thanks to reading your column over the years, I know a spontaneous fight will in no way be fair and thus barely qualifies as a fight.  I'm "keeping my eyes on the prize", and will see you next Tuesday.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--it's Kerry.  3 days till fight night!!  Kim, my frisky ness is out-of-control.  I invited a girlfriend over, and goaded her into a hairpulling playfight.  I know, I know--my fight with Beth will be nothing like that.  I'm preparing myself, like you suggested.  I know the fight will continue until one of us is totally defeated.  And I won't let that person be me.  No chance.  Thank you for preparing me these past few weeks.  Can't wait to meet you on Tuesday.

Dear Kerry--sounds like your approach is right, as it has been all along; trust your gut--Kim.

Dear Kim--Beth here.  You mentioned I've been curt with you.  I have.  Because, Kim, anytime I confide anything to you, you use it to tilt the playing field in Kerry's favor.  I wasn't done looking for an opportunity to provoke a spontaneous fight with her.  But you completely tipped her off to that, and now it's unlikely to happen.  I'm not bitter about it, but I would ask you next Tuesday to please not interfere in our fight in a way that advantages her.  Kim, I'm the aggrieved party here--Kerry slept with my man, and the went unpunished for 15 years.  My fault, I understand--but now that I'm fixing it, I don't need her getting moral or physical support from a third party.  Please take this into consideration next Tuesday.

Dear Beth--This is Kim.  Your observation is a fair one.  I have taken a liking to Kerry, but I have to you as well.  Thus my personal intervention--there's not many women I would do that for.  My thumb will not be on the scales next Tuesday.  But that cuts both ways.  For your consideration:  perhaps you went 15 years without confronting Kerry for a reason:  perhaps you sensed a worthy adversary, and chose not to wake a sleeping dragon.  Again, I don't say this to sow doubts in your head.  But you've no doubt had run-in's with women who are natural counter-punchers:  harmless as a flea when left alone, but fierce when provoked.  Make sure you are being honest with yourself with who Kerry is.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--it's Kerry.  2 more days!!  Hey, I know we agreed we'll be fighting in bikinis.  But I have another quick request.  Since Beth accosted me in the showers, and that's the fight I want to finish, I want out Tuesday fight to be in the showers of the gym.  I don't want to roll around on some mats with her.  I know this is last minute, so if it can't be accommodated, fine; but figured I'd ask.

Dear Kerry--well, look at you!  I knew your fight would be hardcore, but goodness you're not messing around.  I'll see what I can do Tuesday.


Dear Kim--This is Beth, responding to your note on why I haven't confronted Kerry for 15 years.  I can't help my notice you haven't asked about my fight history.  Kim, my last three fights have ended with the other girl in the hospital, each time worse and worse off.  One was an ROTC rival at college, and two were barfights.  To make three long stories short, something snapped in me each fight, and they ended more violently than I wanted them to.  But more importantly, none of the three women did I hate as much as I hate Kerry.  I've always been worried what I'll do to her if I get my hands on her.  I can barely write this note right now, my hands are already shaking so much.  So, right or wrong, that's my answer to your question.
 

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--it's Kerry, and just one day to go!!  Are you in town yet?  I should have asked you before what your plans were, and we could have met.  If you would have done that--maybe you wouldn't have.  Would that have been unprofessional?  Anyways--I checked into a hotel so Beth doesn't cause problems, and so I get a good sleep tonight.  If I can fall asleep--maybe I won't be able to.  Anyways, I hope tomorrow goes according to plan:  me driving home, and you driving Beth home all beat up (her, not you, ha!).  But then maybe you and me can catch up.  TTYL.

Dear Kerry--it's Kim.  Actually, yes, that would have been unprofessional for you and I to meet, although I must confess, resisting would have been difficult.  I do want to catch up afterwards, regardless of the outcome--my readers would benefit from more of your back story, I'm sure.  Good call on the hotel, as on everything else this past month.  You are a model reader, and have paid attention to my writings over the years.  I hope it all pays off for you tomorrow night.


Dear Beth--it's Kim.  ROTC fights, barfights.  You must tell me more after Tuesday.  Although Tuesday itself will provide me with three-months-worth of material, I'm sure.  You also weren't kidding on your adrenaline/hormone issues; maybe I was wrong, and it is some hormone issue of which I am unaware.  I'm glad I trusted my gut and did not let you and Kerry fight unsupervised.  Please obey my orders tomorrow night pre- and postfight.  Anything I tell you to do is for your own good.  If you co-operate with me, I'll cooperate with you.

Dear Kim--it's Beth.  This is probably my hormones getting the best of me again, but I can't help but notice Kerry has done it to me again.  She got to know my husband as I was getting to know him, and she got to know you as I was getting to know you.  And she grew up in the town I want to raise my family in.  Why does she keep doing that?  When tomorrow night is over, I want my husband to myself, and this town all to myself.  And, yes, I will gladly tell you about my fights, if you agree to stop talking to her.  Deal?

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kerry and Beth--neither of you showed for the fight tonight, and so I know you met up and had it out.  Please tell me what happened.  I'm disappointed both that one of you went against my advice, and that you deprived me from witnessing what must have been one heckuva fight.  Kim.

Dear Kim--it's Kerry.  I'm the guilty one.  The one time I didn't follow your advice, and sure enough, it bit me in the butt.  Remember how I told you I was frisky as could be since agreeing to a fight with Beth.  Frisky wasn't quite the right word.  I was horny.  And playfights with my girlfriends weren't "getting the job done".  I was alone in a hotel room.  I needed a man.  The men in the hotel lounge didn't give me the right vibe.  So I texted him.  Beth's husband--my ex-lover, Gary.  I offered him my body, like Beth was going to offer hers to my husband.  What could go wrong, right?  Because when I opened the hotel room door, it was Beth.  I don't know if she was checking his texts or if he told her about them.  But she and I just stared daggers at each other for a full minute.  I invited her in.  Expecting Gary, I had totally gone all-out with big hair, make-up, perfume, and my "party clothes"--sleek top, miniskirt, no underwear or bra.  Beth was in a tank top and jeans, no purse.  She walked past me and we shoved.  "Fifteen years coming, slut," she said.  I locked the door, knowing she had the advantage of mentally preparing for 3 hours for our imminent all-out bitchfight, while I had been preparing for a roll in the hay.  She walked, and I at a distance followed, into the office area.  She removed her flip-flops, kicked an Ottoman aside to clear a small area, and faced me with her hands on her hips.  I raised my fists, and she did the same.  We deliberately exchanged haymakers, jabs, and left-right combinations to the face, blows landing with a sickening "thwaaack".  I connected and drew blood from her left lower lip--such a sweet sight.  But my nose was bleeding--I resisted the urge to touch it and thus spread it.  But she had found a target to zero in on.  Beth grabbed my hair with her left hand, head locked me, and beat my nose ferociously with her right fist.  I could feel blood enveloping my entire front side, and the begin dripping, then flowing, onto the hotel room carpet.  I desperately began clawing at her tank top, sinking my nails into her breasts.  But she was seemingly impervious, and expanding her right fists to my entire face and then my head.  We fell the the floor, but her headlock tightened like a vice.  I was desperate for a break to inspect the damage to my face, but her durable jeans were a better defence than my miniskirt to the mutual crotch attack which commenced.  Her claws found my mound, and she began tearing.  The pain was beyond excruciating.  I lost track of time.  Beth straddled me, and pinned my arms with her knees.  She resumed pounding my nose.  My entire much and throat tasted of blood.  I went for her hair, and bought three or four respites.  But each time, her knees pinned me helpless, and the ground-and-pound resumed.  To the best of my knowledge, I never did give.  I awoke that night caked in dried blood.  I called a girlfriend, crying.  Miraculously, nothing was broken.  But I now have three days until my husband and kids return. I don't deserve you help, but Kim, I need it.  What do I do?

[sinclairfan]

Dear Beth--it's Kim.  Kerry told me what happened between you and her.  I congratulate you on your controlling the time and place of the fight.  This is something I harp on with my readers all the time; if you're going to fight another woman, especially one who is a rival, take control of the situation.  You also sound like you have "dem hands"--that your fists did quite a number on Kerry; I'm not surprised, but I know it was not fluke victory.  Now, this is the part where I'm supposed to give Kerry the cold shoulder, and I interview you about your ROTC fight, your barfights, where you learned to punch like that, and how much better Gary thinks you are in bed than Kerry.  But, guess what, Beth.  I decline.  I think all 3 or however many of your previous fights were just the same fight over and over.  I think you waited for an opportunity to surprise the other woman, got her at a disadvantage with respect to setting and attire, and then took advantage.  Beth, how would you like to fight someone who is every bit as bad-ass as you in that category, and has been in more fights?  Beth, I'm challenging you to a fight tomorrow night.  You and me in the gym showers, in bikinis.  The fight you were supposed to have with Kerry.  If you don't show, I will tell Kerry you refused.  If you do show, even if I win, I will help Kerry leave town, and you can have your life free from her.  What do you say, Beth?  Fight someone your own size, for a change.

Dear Kim--you bitch.  You've liked Kerry better from the start.  I consider you directly responsible for her interfering in my marriage.  You've been away from real fighting for too long.  I will gladly do to you what I did to Kerry.  Beth.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kerry--it's Kim.  So sorry about the fight outcome.  Your initiating contact with Beth's husband was a terrible mistake.  Beth owns a house with him now, and I specifically warned you that women-and-property-educational-access are a whole different level of crazy.  You couldn't get access to Beth's husband if you had the 82nd Airborne backing you up, trust me.  Now, I can help salvage this situation, but you have to follow my instructions to the letter.  No improvising.  You'll be jeopardizing yourself, and you'll be jeopardizing me.  To start with, I'm going to fight Beth very soon--not telling you where or when.  This will knock her off her high horse and buy you some breathing room.  She's a boxer, I'm a catfighter;  major matchup advantage to the catfighter.  I also think she's a bully who will crumble quickly. Then, after the fight is over, I want to help you solve your issue of hairpulling with your girlfriend's "not getting the job done".  You just need to be shown the right way to do it.  This will solve, or at least alleviate, your latent sexual frustrations, and keep you away from men who belong to women like Beth.  If women like her fought fair, you might have a shot; but they don't, and you don't.  Please trust me and hold tight.  And heal.  I want you feeling your best when we finally meet.

Dear Kim--it's Kerry, and I will do as you say.  Please be careful against Beth--her hands are like rocks.  Now, I do want to meet you, but I don't really swing that way, if that's what you were implying.  But please please come see me after the fight.  I need that.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--it's Kerry.  I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me this summer.  Without you, I would have been jumped, no doubt in humiliating fashion, by an old enemy.  I would have been a laughing stock around town, would have been slowly ostracized, and would have had little social future in the only town I've ever known.  Instead, my fight with Beth happened in private, and you avenged my defeat.  You challenged Beth to face you in a gym shower, and she accepted.  She came at you with fists flying, and when you came and met me immediately after the fight, I saw with my own eyes the cuts and bruises she inflicted on your face and chest.  But you've been in, and seen, so many types of fights, that she was unable to hurt so decisively.  You bided your time, dug your claws into her hair, and controlled her body to pummel it with knees, elbows, and feet.  You got the fight onto the hard shower floor, and kept it there.  The bitch had never been behind in a fight, and didn't have a plan.  You started raking her body with your nails, and forced her to give, and to leave me alone, on pain of your coming back and doing the same to her anytime you asked her to.  She finally gave, and she has left me alone ever since.  Beth is kind of a reclusive mom now.  She doesn't much participate in school or town events.  And I've left her husband alone.  Because when you came and visited me after the fight, you taught me what to tell a woman to do to me any time I am tempted, or even just bored, sexually.  I never thought a woman could "satisfy" me, but you taught me how wrong I was.  You showed me what I had been missing with my girlfriends; now, when we get together, we still have rolling hairpulls.  But those are usually just the appetizer.  And all you wanted from me in return was to write from you time to time when I hear about fights they have been in, and to hear about my fight history.  I will of course keep this promise.  Thank you.

Dear Kerry--it's Kim.  A happy ending for me.  Literally, and figuratively.  ;-)  I look forward to Beth keeping her distance from you, and to hearing about the fight experienced of you and your friends.  For myself, but also for my readers.  They've learned so much from you already.  Specifically, even if you are headed for a run-in with a woman who is a better fighter than you, it is almost always better to "fight it out".  The other woman might slip up.  But even if she doesn't nothing is more humiliating than running away.  Know your limits.  But never be afraid to test your  enemy's.  She has limits, too.

[sinclairfan]

Dear Kim--it's me, Kerry, paying off a debt to a friend, (that would be you.   ), by telling you about music best fight ever.  I was 20 years old, home from school for the summer, and spending it with my college boyfriend Andrew.  And, his ex, Danielle.  Danielle was lurking to "see what would happen", to see if there was still a spark between her and Andrew.  There wasn't, and after 3 weeks, it was obvious she was a third wheel.  Andrew was at work one day.  I got in her face, and asked her when she was leaving.  I wasn't intending to fight, but we started bickering.  And namecalling.  We went out alone into the grassy, shady backyard.  We faced off, and we're namecalling really bad.  The b-word, the c-word, the s-word.  We were both in our early 20s and had long hair.  Out fingers got into each others' hair, and we simultaneously started pulling each others' heads down forward and kneeing each other in the face.  We circled like that for several minutes, inflicting damage in the form of bruises.  Neither of us would let go of the hair, and the namecalling continued.  We went down on the grass, my scalp on fire.  I just wanted to beat Danielle bad.  I was the first to start using my legs for leverage.  And then I started raining elbows on the head of my rival.  I cut her forehead.  Blood starting smearing everywhere, along with sweat.  Danielle wouldn't give.  I wanted her face to show everyone that we had fought, and that I had won.  I finally let go of her hair, and started gouging her forehead wound.  It gave me such a rush.  I felt the fight draining out of Danielle.  I scissored her throat with my legs to make her give.  She finally weakly did.  She went inside, and it took her an hour to clean up.  She left before Andrew came back from work.  I felt bad, but was glad she was gone.  I've never seen her again.  That's it--my worst, but best, fight ever.

Dear Kerry--How did I know you would not disappoint me?  I could listen to you talking about fighting all day long.  Not much I woulda done differently--you identified the rival, gave her an out, and then pounced when she didn't get the clue.  Best of luck, and stay in touch.