On second thought, here are some possibilities:
Elizabeth Taylor has been a star for half her life, the female star of stars, whatever that shaky Marilyn Monroe may claim. Oh yes, the uninitiated may say she's short, and soft. But Liz didn't get here by taking guff from starlets. Here's the rule: I take your man; don't bother to approach mine, he won't be interested. Speak when you are spoken to, and keep your eyes down. Liz takes out her bad attitude on Kim Novak as hair pulling quickly progresses to slaps and kicks and punches. Kim Novak wasn't expecting a serious battle, and she's quickly knocked to mat, where Liz pounes on her and begins pummeling. Kim fights back gamely, punching Taylor in the abdomen and rolling her off. But Liz is queen bee and she's not ready to step down. She kicks out hard, catching Kim in the upper thigh and crotch. Kim cries out and crawls to her corner. Liz follows, but Novak decides to fight another day and throws in the towel.
Coming off a tough battle, athletic Esther Williams finds herself in another tight corner against muscular Ursula Andress. Despite the referee's instructions, neither women can be bothered with hair pulling, and it's Ursula who wrestles Esther into the ropes. But the experienced fighter ducks away. As Ursula grabs her at the shoulders, Esther rolls backward onto the mat and flips Ursula. Esther is up quicker and springs onto the Swiss. But the younger woman recovers quickly, and on the ground she's Esther's equal in strength. It's Williams who finally scrambles to her feet, but Ursula immediately takes her down with a leg sweep and gains the advantage. As Ursula applies an arm bar, Esther tries to break her grasp, but can't power out of the dangerous position. As she turns purple, the ref calls the match for Ursula.
Brigitte Bardot's luxurious locks are too vulnerable for Jane Russell to resist, but the quicker woman claws at Jane's face and breaks free. Gouging is against the rules, but the ref tells the protesting Jane that a scratch is just a scratch. That's the least of her problems as agile Brigitte jumps on her back and takes her to the ground. Riding the larger woman, Brigitte pummels Jane. But the Frenchwoman can't resist going after Jane's famous assets, pulling down Russell's abbreviated costume to expose her massive rack. But shifting position to go for a frontal assault, Bardot is off balance and Jane surges up to throw her off. Now Russell is on top, where her weight advantage is too much for the thinner woman, who quickly finds herself pinned.
With size, strength and actual martial arts training, Honor Blackman knows she can beat any woman in this catfighting competition. Perhaps that confidence has worked against her, and she's been too complacent or too much the cool blonde technician. Last time, Tina Louise scored a late flurry of points to take a match that was firmly in Honor's control. That was American home cooking: who knows what studio is paying off these judges? Now Honor faces another potential trap against gorgeous but nasty Ava Gardner.
But the Brit calmly responds as Ava tries all her tricks. It's almost educational as Gardner uses tactics Honor is researching for her book on women's self-defense: from the genital kick to the chop to the windpipe, the stomp to the instep to the reverse punch to the face, elbowing the solar plexus to tearing at the lip. It's clear Gardner has had a lot of experience fighting, or fighting off, men.
Honor knows and employs all the counters, but it's not as if battling Ava Gardner is fun. After one clinch and more of the brunette's gin breath, Honor reels away from a Gardner head butt, followed by a grab at her bikini top. Honor backpedals as the top slips down, exposing one of her stupendous breasts. The crowd roars and rises to its feet, cheering as Honor shrugs away the top, unhooks it and lets it fall. Honor Blackman will also put her rack up against anyone's.
Ava flashes a sly smile and softly applauds, but the referee steps in to look at Honor's face. She realizes she's bleeding from the head butt, but pushes the ref away. No one is going to steal this fight. Honor may look cool on the outside, but inside she's furious. The blonde steps forward, raises her fists and takes a boxer's stance. She smiles at Ava, relaxes her fists and beckons the brunette forward. But the gorgeous Gardner gives her another quick, cold smile and shakes her head, instead waving Honor to come on. But Ava's hardly taken her eyes off Blackman's magnificent boobs, and Honor knows they are the next target.
As though accepting Ava's invitation, Honor begins lowering her arms and takes a step toward her. She notices Gardner shift her weight ever so slightly, beginning to lean forward. Suddenly, Honor launches a kick. She beats Ava's belated reaction and, fully extended, catches her square on the side of the head. "That's something else I know how to do," Honor says as she squats down next to the dazed woman on the mat. She spreads Ava's hair and kneels on it for the final facesit.
Barbara Eden may be small, but she's firm. Yet after a promising start, she's lost three of four, and the one win was over weak Diana Rigg. Motivated, Barbara has her mojo back. More importantly, she's also quicker than bodacious Jayne Mansfield. Whirling away from Jayne's reach, Barbara grabs her long platinum hair and drags her down. On the mat, Jayne's height advantage is neutralized. But her enormous boobs are more of an obstacle than Barbara expected, and she must kick out to avoid being smothered. She's more careful on her next move, wrapping her strong legs around Mansfield's tiny waist and flinging her from side to side. Finally, Barbara deliberately relaxes the hold and Jayne starts to escape. But Barbara again yanks her down by the hair and sits on Mansfield's pillowy chest. She waits while the blonde tires herself in ineffective wriggling. It's kind of a nice effect, sort of like magic fingers, Barbara thinks. Then she snaps out of it and pins the bigger woman.
Despite her muscular arms and legs and well-toned abs, firecracker Gina Lollobrigida has not done as well as expected, while bouncy blonde Joi Lansing has been a pleasant surprise. But as this match starts, Joi has trouble getting her hands on Gina's short hair. The two women grapple, and Joi is dismayed at the power in the Italian's shoulders and biceps. Gina drives Lansing into the ropes, where Joi slips slightly. Her shapely butt rings the second rope, and she doesn't fall. But in that position, it's easy for Lollobrigida to get both hands on the beautiful blonde's tresses. She yanks hard. Joi lashes out in pain and hits Gina in the stomach. The brunette grunts and releases her grasp. Joi grabs Gina around the waist and attempts to drive forward. But having coming up off the ropes reduces her momentum. Gina tries to throw her to the mat. Joi is strong enough to hang on a pull Lollobridgida down with her. The move backfires as Gina lands hard on Joi's head and shoulders. Joi kicks Gina off and staggers to her feet, with tears in her eyes. As Joi clutches her left shoulder in pain, the ref calls in the ring doctor, who takes her off for X-rays.
Yvonne Craig isn't taking a break from the Ballet Russe in order to fool around with hair. While athletic and muscular, Yvonne may be too short and shapely to have a long career as a ballerina. She can see a future in Hollywood, if she makes an impression in these catfights. Yvonne's short, practical cut gives her an obvious edge over Anita Ekberg, but she recognizes the Swede is a powerful fighter. From the start, Yvonne dances away from Anita. As the bigger woman pursues, Craig bruises her calves and thighs with flicking kicks. It's frustrating for Anita, who expects a victory in this tournament will propel her beyond pin-up and second banana status. If she can only get her hands on this little twit, she'll finish her fast. Finally, she brushes through a kick, and even though it throws her punch off slightly, she still connects with Yvonne's cheek, snapping the slender dancer's head back. Anita follows with a body blow, but to her surprise Craig's hard abs simply absorb it. Going high, Anita grabs for her shoulders, but Yvonne whirls aside and Ekberg stumbles to her knees. She grabs the ropes to pull herself up. but Yvonne is right behind her and kicks her behind her right knee. Ekberg screams and grabs for the wounded joint. Despite the injury, she's not done. Furious, she twists and lunges up at the American, but Yvonne immediately reacts with a knee to Anita's forehead. The big Swede is down and out, as the well-trained dancer takes a deserved victory.
The pictures are worth thousands of words. This fight takes place during the time Sophia Loren, with 30-plus screen appearances, was captured in this photo while making Boy on a Dolphin. Diana Rigg had just entered the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art after leaving boarding school.
Rigg would be at her absolute best nine years later in her Queen of Sin costume _ cinched in, heavily padded and pushed up as far as she'd go _ but still no match physically for the powerful Sophia. Now, the unskilled, unmuscled English girl has no chance against the powerful, voluptuous Italian woman.
