Announcing the 2017 Queen of the Beach tournament
32 Bikini Bursting Babes from around the world will converge on Santa Monica to crown the QUEEN OF THE BEACH 2017
Matches will be fought inside sandy rings specially constructed on the scenic shore surrounded by media fans and cameras.
The tournament will be SINGLE ELIMINATION
Each bikini clad battle with consist of 3 five minute rounds and can be won by Pinfall, Submission or TKO. If a match goes the distance Judges will award the contest on points.
Early round matchups will have recaps of the actions while late matchups will feature more in-depth stories
The official bracket has been released and the 1st rd is coming very soon!
What are your RD1 Predictions?
Who do you want to see go all the way?
Kate Upton vs. Allison Brie
Allison Brie was unfazed by her perceived ìbad luckî in drawing Kate Upton, one of the tournaments heavy favorites, for her first match. ìThe bigger they are... Allison said as she dazzled the crowd in a radiant purple bikini, ...the harder they fall. But little Allison was soon upstaged by her blonde opponent. In fact, not just Brie but the whole worldwide audience was stunned when Upton appeared in an incredible white bikini that was fit for a queen.
After her warm ovation, not much else went right for Allison. The diminutive brunetteís rack could stand up to most women, but not Kate Upton - at least not this day. Kate proved to be too much as she used her 7 inch height advantage to easily control her spirited opponent in round 1.
In round 2, Kate used her weight advantage and her heavyweight bust to wear down, and then finish off, Allison Brie whose tournament ended before her bags were unpacked as she succumbed to the bigger, heavier, weight of Upton's awe inspiring jugs falling on her face as Kate applied her finisher, The Jugg Smother to snuff out Brie's tournament flame.
Kate celebrated briefly and soaked in the glowing cheers of her fans as she silently moved her focus to round 2 and the Queen of the Beach crown.
Winner: Kate Upton, Rd 2 KO, Breast Smother
Christina Hendricks vs. Blake Lively
One of the tournament's most buzzed about first round matches had to have definitely been Hendricks v Lively. Christina's bust was one of the early favorites of all the in the field while Lively's body was considered to be one of the most athletic of any woman competing,
True to form, Christina flaunted her awesome assets in a green one piece, while Blake made the shrewd decision to avoid the obvious comparison and instead wore the orange bikini she made famous in her film ìThe Shallowsî which highlighted her athleticism, rather than her bosom.
Vegas had their money on the redhead - and why not? Hendricks was on the short list of women thought to have a realistic chance of being crowned Queen. Lively, had other IdeasÖ.
Blake tired out and wore down the big redhead through all three rounds. Hendricks simply couldn't catch her and by the end of Rd 2, Christina was sucking wind. Blake's camp had a great strategy and it eventually paid off in Rd 3 when the lithe blonde peppered Christina boobs until they were nearly driven up and out of the top of her battered one-piece. The final bell rang with Hendricks on her knees in tears, her trembling arms cradling her wounded girls as tears dripped from her quivering lips onto the flushed, freckled mounds as Blake stood over her and raised her arms high after crafting a surprisingly easy 3-0 shutout victory.
Winner: Blake Lively, 3-0, Decision.
Chrissy Teigen vs Yoko Matsugane
Chrissy Teigen became one of the tournament's most visible competitors as the stunning supermodel made the rounds of nearly every talk show and media event promoting herself as well as 'The Queen of the Beach' tournament. Little was known about her first round opponent, Japanese Yoko Matsugane, and some referred to the Japanese model as a ìtrue enigmaî while others called her ìa mystery woman.î
Teigen was electrifying in a aqua blue bikini her statuesque 5í9î body towering over the 5í5î Japanese. But what Yoko lacked in height she made up for with her pure bra busting payload. Even her rumored ìH-cupsî were barely be contented in a strained black and red bikini. Chrissy had seen pictures and studied video of Yoko in action, but once she saw her in person, even Chrissy was momentarily taken aback by her rivalís heavily cantilevered figure.
Teigen, however, was quickly re-energized by the loud, supportive, home crowd and it showed when Chrissy came out fast to dominate Yoko in Rd 1. Matsugane looked ill at ease and unequipped to handle the American's size and athleticism. The smaller Japanese woman took punishment from post to post as she was unable to mount much of an offense in the opening round.
Unfortunately for the busty Japanese model, the second round didn't go much better! Teigen looked like the total package as she† took Yoko to school with moves that required both athleticism and brute strength as well as the 'God-given equipment' to pull them off. Matsugaune's fans watching the worldwide broadcast in Japan must have been anxiously clutching their remotes as they watched their idol struggle just to barely survive Rd 2 after fighting off several Teigen pin attempts.
Chrissy began Rd 3 with a huge advantage, ahead 2-0 needed only to not be pinned, to submit or let herself by KOíd by the struggling foreigner. But Teigen's pride refused to allow her to what Lively had done so brilliantly in her match, to simply run out the clock with a huge lead so Chrissy decided to make a statement to the rest of the field by demolishing her opponent, rather than merely beating her!
Many in the crowd gasped when Teigen came out and went rack to rack with Matsuguane from the start of the decisive third round. The American supermodel was so sure Yoko had little left to fight off her world class breasts that she had nothing to worry aboutÖ Teigen was wrong - dead wrong! Chrissy knew instantly that she had made a big mistake as soon as she saw a smile creep across Yoko's lips when they met jug-to-jug in the middle of the ring.
Yokoís jugs didn't give even a fraction of a centimeter. Then, an instant later, Teigen's proud tits were flattened, crushed by the massive weight of Matsugane's All-Asian Assets. Chrissy had barely registered the shock of her pain before Yoko put her on her ass and then onto her back with her legs in the air on the sand.
From there, Chrissy's Santa Monica stay was brought to an ignominious and premature conclusion as Yokoís jugs enveloped her stunned face and were locked in place as Yoko wrapped her arms around her and laid down on top of her. Unforgettable images of Chrissy Teigen's legs slowly, helplessly, writhing with her feet bicycling in the air as she squirmed in futile attempts at escape from under the Japanese were broadcast throughout the world. Yoko Matsuguane was a mystery woman no more for every one of the other competitors now knew who, and how deadly, she truly was.
Winner: Yoko Matsugaune, Rd 3 KO, Breast Smother
Sofia Vergar[/img]a vs. Hayley Atwell
The fans in the sold out bleachers were still in a state of shock following Yoko Matsguaneís devastating victory over Chrissy Teigen so there wasn't much of a problem when tournament officials took their time carefully reviving the crushed American model and gingerly led her from the ring. Chrissy tried, but failed, to hide her tear-swollen eyes from the cameras as she was led away on wobbly legs.
But it didn't sit well with Hayley Atwell or Sofia Vergara who were forced to wait with their camps for an added 15 minutes while Teigen was removed from the beach, the sand ring was raked and reset before they were introduced for the final match of the first day.
Both women stood with proudly thrust out bosoms as, at 5 7 each, they glared eye-to-eye. Sofia Vergara flashed her form in a jaw-dropping gold bikini that perfectly encased her lush, seemingly ageless, 45 yo body. Hayley Atwell filled out her classy blue and red nautical-themed bikini with a figure every bit as impressive as Sofia's. This match was considered by odds-makers to be the one that would be almost even (at least on paper) of those contested on the tournaments opening day.
Sofia was the total package; having the size, the skill, and obviously the bust to compare with any other while she also boasted years of veteran experience to boot. Hayley Atwell, star of Marvels Agent Carter, didn't yield an inch to the Colombian beauty in either size or bust, both of which she possessed in both quantity and quality that belonged in the same zip code of Vergara's. But Hayley didn't have nearly the track record of Sofia who had competed in South America since she had been a teenager. Atwell was 10 years younger and her public school education in Great Britain may have included some informal 'best chest' contests, but none of them on the scale of Sofia's.
Still, odds going into the match were, surprisingly, 50-50, with Atwell's youth balancing Vergara's experience.
RD1 saw Vergara dominate her British foe after a fast start. From the bell, Sofia had Atwell on her heels and Hayley never recovered her footing. The crowd backed both women equally, but it was Sofia who seemed to draw more from their energy. Atwell took punishment back and forth across the ring and struggled to offer any kind of offense as Sofia bore down on her. Twice Atwell was forced to the sand, but each time she escaped the trap of Vergara's looming tits. The round-ending bell was music to Atwell's ears. Sofia easily took RD1.
Rd2 opened with another heavy attack by the sultry Colombian as Sofia tried to end the match with increasingly wild haymakers. But Atwell's sturdy defense held up under Sofia's unrelenting pressure and the valiant Britain refused to relent. Hayley steadied as the round continued and Vergara's breathing became heavy and her fists slowed. The busty Brit waited for an opening and when she got her opportunity, she struck; countering Sofia and ROCKING her tits left to right. Sofia covered her top instinctively but was decked by a wicked clothesline from the fired up younger woman.
Atwell pressed her advantage and drew huge cheers when she swept Sofia off her feet and planted her on her back in the sand with a textbook Body Slam! Vergara's remaining air left her as Hayley covered her for a pin in the middle of the ring.
1...2....3 Hayley Atwell recorded the Tournaments first pinfall and as she staggered panting to her feet, she basked in the crowd's vocal appreciation hailing her winning effort. Vergara slowly clambered to her feet and acknowledged Atwell with a sporting hug as she wishing her luck as both Women raised the other's arm. Hayley Atwell beamed. It seemed as if her coming out party was just beginning.
Winner: Hayley Atwell, Rd 2, Pinfall.
Kim Kardashian vs. Jessica Simpson
*********
The 5th match of the tournament was - if not the most eagerly anticipated - certainly the most over-hyped of the 1st round. Team Kardashian prominently featured Kim's rigorous training regimen on their cable TV show while Team Simpson found different, if no less intrusive, ways of getting Jessica's world class puppies in front of any camera they could, including an ATM camera outside a coastal bank branch and a traffic cam when she just happened to be doing her breast exercises wearing a teeny-tiny top in a crosswalk on a downtown LA street at rush hour, causing a massive jam. Both turned up on network TV and cable news shows who ran them non-stop on their nightly news 'celebrity' segments!
The two petite (5’3) women made up for their lack of height with prodigious bosoms and crowds (surprisingly equally divided male/female) lined up early to get prime front row seats for the show. Jessica introduced first in a red-white-blue, stars & stripes bikini, blonde hair loose and free; KK going all black, though her suit was even smaller than Jessica's so that from certain angles it was almost invisible. While the crowd was equally divided sexually, there was little doubt where allegiances lay as Jessica's most vocal fans were overwhelmingly female; Kim's backers mostly male....although to be totally honest, all the men weren't bashful when calling for (ad nauseam) a wardrobe malfunction.
At the opening bell, Simpson, ever the All-American good sport, came forward with a big grin and offered Kim a hand for a prefight shake. As she said, Good luck...Kardashian hauled off and slapped the grin right off Jessica's shocked face. In seconds, Simpson was trapped back against the ropes as Kim's world class rack pounded hers flat. The rest of the first round consisted of Kim's bowling ball boobs knocking Jessica's girls around like a couple of beach volley balls. Simpson was never able to get on track and after five minutes, the blonde was in visible shambles as she stumbled in shock back to her corner.
The second round was more of the same, with Kim using her lower center of gravity to get lower than Jessica as she kept constant pressure on Simpson whose rack was being ravaged by uppercutting shots she seemed to have no answer for. The few times Simpson tried to get low, Kardashian just bowled her over and each time, it took Jessica a little longer to get up. But in the end, it was Kim's end that did the trick as she finally managed to reverse sit herself on Jessica's face. Jessica’s fans around the world changed channels to avoid seeing their heroine finished off by the hated Kardashian , but those in attendance were not so lucky as they watched Kim’s ass devour Jessicas face all while the blondes battered boobs were played like bongos.
After 30 seconds of pure torture Jessica Simpsons lights went dim and the ringing of the bell declared Kim Kardashian the decisive victress.
Winner: Kim Kardashian, Rd 2, KO, Ass Smother
After: Kim made sure to bathe in the catcalls from her male fans as long as she could. Meanwhile it took 3 tournament officials to bring the broken blonde back to consciousness and pry her out of the sand Kims ass had buried her in. Many pundits wondered if Jessica’s bum shocked face was that of a woman who had seen her last match.
Salma Hayek vs. Abigail Ratchford
The race isn't always to the swift, nor battle to the strong; but that's the way to bet is an old boxing axiom often true here as well. Bettors laying their hard-earned fantasy bucks this fight took the advice to heart and made the taller, heavier, better endowed Ratchford a heavy favorite over a woman almost twice her age!
For Salma Hayek, no newcomer to these contests, facing a woman taller, or heavier, is nothing new. Less often has she come up against a superior rack, but it's happened to her a few times in 50 years! But seldom has she come up against someone who held EVERY advantage over her - although if she keeps entering these contests at her age, it'll happen more and more frequently! But Salma's a fighter and she didn't hesitate to get in the opening salvo in this battle as she charged out, leaped off her feet and with her arms spread wide, crashed nipples-first into Abigail's waiting bust. Ratchford didn't even acknowledge the impact with a step backward, she just wrapped her own arms around Hayek, bounced her a few times, then dropped to one knee and powered Salma's crotch down onto her planted knee.
Salma's breath exploded from her mouth in Abigail's face, her arms dropped limp at her sides as Ratchford stood up and shook her like a rag doll, then hopped and body slammed Salma Hayek flat on her back in the sand! Holding Hayek's arms spread wide, Abigail wriggled and squirmed up Salma's limp body until her breasts were perfectly aligned with Salma's before she slowly pressed down. As her big bosom completely overwhelming Hayek's, Salma's boobs disappeared under the swelling flesh of Ratchford's awesome assets until nothing of Hayek's was still visible....1....2....3
The Bell rang and Abigail Ratchfords name was on the map
Winner: Abigail Ratchford, Rd 1, Boob-to-Boob Pinfall
Nicki Minaj vs. Lindsey Pelas
A newcomer to the celebrity beach fighting, Lindsey Pelas drew a lot of interest from spectator and competitor alike. The men wanted her number; the women wanted to determine for themselves if those are real? and her fellow competitors just wanted to flatten her to show they could. All in all, it was an interesting first day for the youngster as Salma Hayek had referred to her in an interview.
Rd 1 Pelas nerves showed as she was too cautious and the veteran boob battler Minaj got the jump on her and, as Pelas later admitted, She's a lot better'n the college girls i had been fighting’. Minaj ended the first round giving the cornered Pelas' puppies the old one-two as she boob battered her with sweeping back and forth swipes of her own famous frontage.
Rd 2 Pelas finally gained her footing and she battled Minaj to a standoff for much of the round before coming on like gangbusters in the final minute as Nicki Minaj appeared to run out of gas as her pace slowed visibly.
In Rd 3, Pelas and Minaj again were even until midway in the round when Pelas dug deep inside herself and went on a roll. From there she dominated Nicki Minaj down the stretch. The resulting split decision was a foregone conclusion and even Minaj admitted her conditioning hadn't been what it should and Pelas deserved the win. But Nicki refused to speculate on Lindsey's chances going forward, I have friends in this competition who wouldn't like me talking about them.
Winner: Lindsey Pelas, 2-1, Decision
Beyonce vs. Kylie Jenner
Beyonce's not a familiar name on the beach fight circuit, though she's been active in celebrity boxing, wrestling and MMA for years. Beyonce's husband encouraged her to up the level of her competition and so, here she is on the sand! Beyonce’s legion of fans had the pop stars name in serious consideration to become Queen of the Beach. However some sharp bettors went against the Bey Hive as her odds improved.
Kylie had little track record but much hype. Social media was plastered with videos of the young socialite training and showing off her now famous assets. Jenner was pestering Beyonce for weeks on instagram and twitter declaring that Queen Bey’s time was over. Beyonce didn't respond to the taunts, she didn't need to, her legion of fans commented on Kylies posts thousands of times over.
Two women with close to the same measurements and only Kylie's age would seem to give her any advantage; although Beyonce's experience could well offset that, and may even prove to be an advantage for the older woman. Beyonce's iconic ass was predicted by many to be the trump card in the matchup, but some wondered if Kylie was indeed Queen Beys match.
Rd 1 provides the crowd with plenty of chances to scream for their favorite as first Beyonce, then Kylie, gains (and then loses) the upper hand. Beyonce using more power moves while young Jenner focuses on finesse or agility as the basis of her attack and defense. Neither with any prolonged dominance, which analysts will later claim favored the less experienced Jenner where they'd all expected Beyonce to be more calm in front of a boisterous crowd, yet she seemed to be more nervous in the ring than Kylie.
Rd 2 Kylie begins to come into her own as a fighter, upping her game, taking the fight to Bey on more and more occasions Beyonce looks more tentative than the 1st round, it's as if she's afraid of making a mistake or maybe she doesn't want to look bad in her debut beach match. Five minutes is a long time for someone who's not well trained and Jenner's fitness level seems to be better than Beyonce's as the older singer appears winded late in the round.
Rd 3 Beyonce is really laboring and it's all Jenner from the bell to the finish as she takes control of Beyonce and wrings her out until the singer looks like a limp dishrag. As if being soundly dominated by the much younger member of the Kardashian Klan Beyonce suffers the ultimate humiliation - that of being snuffed out by a youngster using her own famous finishing move to eliminate her from the tournament in her first match!
Winner: Kylie Jenner, Rd 3, Ass Smother
After Beyonces legion of fans were astoundingly silenced on social media when Kylie Jenner planted her foot between their Queens shallow breathing tits raised her arm high and took an Instagram breaking selfie.
Brooklyn Decker Vs Eva Green
The gathered crowd eagerly awaited a matchup of true contrasts. Brooklyn Decker entered the sandy arena in her iconic yellow bikini, dropping jaws from all corners of the beach. Not to be out done the dark haired Eva Green followed in a devilish black ensemble that made her look like the wicked witch of the beach.
Both women stood near equal in height and bust, however Decker could claim a slight advantage in both categories. Brooklyn was a chic dark horse pick by many showed observers , her natural athleticism combined with her god given assets made her a real threat to wear the crown on the tournaments last day in the eyes of many. Eva may not have had her name penciled in the end of many brackets , but she was known to be mean as they come and a big fan of post fight theatrics much to the fear of Brooklyns many fans.
RD1 was as tentative as any in the tournament so far. Brooklyn spend a majority of the action in a defensive mode, not landing much offense but not allowing much to get through either.Eva was as aggressive as predicted but grew easily frustrated with the blondes almost expert defensive tactics. However at the tail end of the set the black haired beauty was successful in forcing the supermodel into a corner and landed some sturdy shots to Deckers prime time jugs. Brooklyn covered herself as the bell rang , clearly disappointed she allowed RD1 to slip away.
RD2 Saw an energized blonde bombshell flip the script on her over energized opponent. Eva looked to continue her success from the end of the past round but could not touch Brooklyn. Green found her self on the sand when Decker dodged a haymaker right. Evan squirmed as Brooklyn worked her like a seasoned pro. Decker put on a clinic of holds before locking in a textbook camel clutch in the center of the white sand ring.
Eva screamed in agony as Decker layed on the small of her back and wrenched her chin back, she could feel the blondes heaving tits against the back of her head as she writhed trying to find a way out of the devastating hold. Finally it was too much for the former bond girl…”i Quit” she groaned in a disappointed embarrassed voice.
Decker mercifully released the hold, let loose a million dollar smile and gladly took a well earned spot in RD2.
Lucy Pinder vs Alice Goodwin
A battle of British lassies was next on the docket as Lucy Pinder took on Alice Goodwin. Lucy, a longtime stalwart on the scene was, at 33 yo, still in her prime but with nearly decade of experience battling in the ring. Pinder nearly busted out of her red, white, and blue Union Jack bikini as she waved to the cheering crowd while awaiting Alice's introduction.
Alice Goodwin didn't have the big name brand identification of her busty rival, but to those in the know she was considered a sleeping giant ready to explode in the big bust scene. Casual observers were surprised the relative newcomer was highly ranked among the odds-on favorites to win the tournament.
Sharp bettors knew all about Goodwin's recent successes as she tore through Europe on a pre-tournament tour. There were rumors she'd retired Gemma Atkinson, herself someone many had expected to see here. Dressed in a simple black bikini At 5’8 with a 'weapons grade' 32E bosom, Goodwin was a slight favorite over the storied - but considerably smaller - Lucy Pinder.
As expected from a veteran, Lucy opened RD1 showing no fear of the bigger woman. She ran straight to her fellow Brit and they slammed together in the corner so hard it shook the turnbuckle loose in the sand. The crowd was on their feet as the two struggled for control. Lucy couldn't pin Goodwin when she got her down and soon found herself trapped in a corner with Goodwin on top of her. UHHHHHHHHHH Lucy gasped as Goodwin pumped a heavy fist into her belly and Pinder must've wondered if she'd ever been hit so hard in her career. Only seconds later, the question became moot when Alice unloaded a bikini busting combo of lefts and rights square into Lucy's red, white, and blue top that shot Lucy's right boob from its protective cup as her eyes rolled back from the overwhelming pain.
The crowd was stunned into a concerned silence as it became clear Goodwin had no intention of easing up on the shattered woman. Pinder had no idea of where she was when Alice draped her limp arms over the corner ropes. Goodwin smiled devilishly as she admired her handiwork in so quickly dismantling the famed British fighter. Alice climbed the turnbuckle above Pinder, pulled her hair back and then leaned over to smother Lucy into oblivion in the corner of the ring.
The bell ring and the match was mercifully over as Alice Goodwin had handed Lucy Pinder the most authoritative beating of her decorated career and announced to the world she was coming for the crown.
Winner: Alice Goodwin, RD1, KO, Breast Smother
Social media lit up after the match had gone off the air to commercial. Videos from the crowd showed various shots of Goodwin humiliating the proud Pinder before being pulled off the beaten woman by Tournament officials. One of the clearer videos went viral showing Goodwin displaying Pinders tattered Union Jack bikini before tossing it on the face of a poor fan holding a Brooklyn Decker sign.
“Tell your girl Brooklyn that whatever ends up left of her famous little yellow bikini will be property of Alice Goodwin”
Many critics are calling for fines or punishment for Goodwins lewd and hostile behavior.
Ariel Winter vs. Alexandra Daddario
Most of the crowd for this fight didn't come to see a famous celebrity, instead they came mainly out of curiosity about two (relative) unknowns. Daddario had yet to earn a reputation as a fighter, but her film career received a big boost when she was cast in Baywatch and smart bettors couldn't help but notice her athletic 5’8 frame and absolutely stacked bust.
Winter, on the other hand, was only a name bandied about on blogs, and fanboy sites. Now that Winter was of legal age everyone had to see what the fuss was about.
Despite her 12 year career in front of the camera, Winter looked unexpectedly jittery getting to the ring and almost tripped over the bottom rope entering it. Not surprising, given this is her first public fight although rumors of an on set or two) have circulated since the announcement she'd accepted an invite to Queen of the Beach.
Rd 1 Alexandra pushing Ariel around as Winter has trouble with her footing in the soft sand, falling several times as she tries to elude Alexandra's grasping hands plucking at her suit. Twice Daddario manages to pull down Ariel's top, exposing her pale breasts, both time Winter reflexively covers them with her hands, leaving her belly exposed for Alexandra to target with punches, kicks, knees. But then Alex backs off and gives Winter time to adjust her suit, blushing furiously as she does. It's all play for Alexandra Daddario who quickly realizes she can do pretty much anything she wants to Winter who looks totally lost in the ring.
Rd 2 more Daddario bullying the young teenager, adding some playful spanks that land with a SMACK on jiggling buttocks (sounding anything BUT 'playful'). After wrestling Ariel down, Daddario unties Winter's top, forcing her to attempt to wrestle with one hand holding her top in place, the other slapping helplessly at Alexandra's fingers plucking at her fleshy bosom like a baby bird with a worm. By the end of round two, Winter's face blushing bright red, her cheeks streaked with tears of humiliation as Alexandra wraps her in a bearhug, trapping her hands between their chests, At the bell, when Daddario finally releases her, Ariel stumbles to her corner and falls onto her stool, then bursts into tears, sobbing on the shoulder of her mother/coach.
Ariel Winter proves she's simply too young, too naive, too inexperienced - and not anywhere close to being in the condition she has be in if she wants to compete with the likes of Alexandra Daddario...not to mention the top tier women like Upton, Decker, Matsugane, Mckinney et. al.
Winner: Alexandra Daddario, Rd 2, TKO, Submission (Winter quits on her stool)
* * *
Lindsay Lohan vs Kat Dennings
The match after Daddario-Winter promises to be far different. Unlike Winter's naivete, both of these women are ready, willing, and more than able to fight without regard to 'wardrobe malfunction' or reluctance to use any kind of punch, hold, or kick that may offend the Marquise of Queensbury (author of ìA Girl's Guide to Fight Etiquetteî or some such thing).
Dennings has two things Lohan doesn't: 25 lbs., of weight edge and an extra 'D' in her bra! The second may not matter, but the first is huge, especially on sand where Lohan's maneuverability advantage is lessened. LiLo does NOT want to get trapped in Kat's cleavage with no way to run away!
Rd 1 opens as expected with Dennings stolidly stalking out to confront Lohan while the freckled redhead hops and skips around trying to lure Kat into making a mistake she can take advantage of. (Hoping your opponent makes a mistake is not really a strategy...is it?) Whatever, Lohan manages to land a couple of punches to Kat's hulking boobs as she's ducking, dekeing, and generally staying out of Dennings' way but all good things must come to an end and eventually Kat traps LiLo in Kat's corner where she bodies up to Lohan and uses her bulk to keep Lindsay pinned on the ropes as Kat hammers away to Lohan's slim body with both fists! Lohan fighting back, but trapped in the corner she's unable to get much into her blows.
Lohan's no wrestler, certainly not with a woman 25 lbs heavier, so after Kat uses her fists to soften Lohan up, she grapples her out to center ring where she body slams Lindsay on her back. Mounting the slender redhead, Dennings goes for her famously effective Good Night Ladies a breast smother finisher!
The crowd cheers as they watch Lohan wriggling and squirming, but there's no way to throw “fat Kat” off her while she's in this predicament! But Lindsay expected this may happen and planned accordingly. Reaching up, Lohan raked her filed and freshly manicured nails across the bulging expanse of Kat's already sweaty bosom. Dennings let out a scream and began trying to capture LiLo's flashing fingers, but it wasn't easy and Lohan got in several good digs with each hand before Dennings finally managed to capture and control them. Kat pressed Lindsay's hands down in the sand stretched out to the sides, but in that position, Dennings couldn't use her own hands to control Lohan's head, so she turned it to the side where she could breath. After several attempts to cover Lohan's nose and mouth with her plaint soft flesh, Kat realized the only way to snuff out Lohan would be to release her hands to grab her by the hair. But she was unwilling to do that and suffer further clawing of her breasts.
Reluctantly, Dennings let go of Lindsay's left wrist and tried to punch her in the face, but LiLo was able to block it and then again raked her sharp nails across Kat's cleavage. Dennings gave up her breast smother to save her breasts and got up, looking for another takedown that she could secure in a more advantageous position.
Lohan quickly sprang to her feet and escaped, momentarily; giving her time to catch her breath and regroup. In the last minute, Kat tried unsuccessfully to corner Lohan who potshotted Kat's heaving breasts; the heavier woman panting in the afternoon heat as she chased the lithe redhead around the sandy ring until the bell rang ending the 1st round. Kat went to her corner for water and a seat to catch her breath. Lohan returned to hers but stayed upright, leaning on the wood post driven in the sand serving as a turnbuckle.
Rd 2 started the same as Rd 1 with Dennings attempting to corner Lohan who kept eluding her. Fans at ringside noticed that Lindsay was no longer moving as fluidly; her legs growing weary as she struggled with the soft sandy ring. Both had slowed, and Dennings was laboring visibly, yet stubbornly refused to stop chasing Lohan. Halfway thru the 5 minute round, Kat caught Lindsay by the back of her bikini bottom and pulled her into a Reverse Bearhug, lifted her off her feet and German Suplexed her into the soft sand hard enough to ring Lohan's bell briefly...long enough for Kat to get on top of Lohan; trapping Lindsay's left arm by her side. Lohan's right hand was still free, but it was enough for Kat!
Using a handful of LiLo's hair, Kat stuffed Lohan's ruddy face in her cleavage and bore down, the soft, yielding flesh molding itself to Lindsay's face as Lohan stared up wide-eyed into Kat's leering face. “Gotcha now, bitch!” Dennings cackled as she rubbed Lindsay's face deep in the valley of her bosom. “YEEEOOOOOWCH!” Kat suddenly screamed, rearing up and back, her tiny top stretching out as Lohan's teeth held on with bulldog-like tenacity.
Fans leaned forward in their seats, mouths agape as they saw a trickle of blood running from the red tooth marks on Denning's now exposed left breast. In her haste to retrieve her wounded pride-and-joy's from LiLo's gnawing teeth, Kat had forgotten to hold onto Lindsay's right hand. Lohan whipped her fist up and (BAM) punched Kat on the side of her jaw. Dennings saw stars, but she gamely tried to recapture Lohan's fist before... (BAM) ...Lindsay hit her again! (BAM) (BAM) Two more punches rocked Kat before she managed to get her left forearm onto Lohan's bicep and wrestle it back down onto the sand again.
“G'won Kitty.... put 'em... there again…,"Lohan panted. “I'll chew 'em... up an'... spit 'em .... 'n your fat face!”
But then the bell rang ending the second round. Once more, Kat Dennings had been THIS CLOSE to winning, and once more, Lohan had wriggled out of her trap.
Rd 3 saw a change in the match. Instead of waiting for Dennings to go on offense, Lohan attacked first. She had been seeing Kat slowing as the fight wore on and didn't want to give her a chance to take advantage of her catching her breath during the break. As soon as she rose from her stool, Lindsay rushed at Kat and hit her in the chest with a Drop Kick. Kat went sprawling on her butt, and before she could roll over and get to her knees, Lohan was behind her with both arms wrapped around her neck. The Sleeper Hold was locked in tight and using her knees to hammer Kat's back. Lohan had her struggling for breath as she cut off the blood to her brain! When Kat's hands opened and slipped from Lindsay's arms, Lindsay dropped Kat on her back, but instead of pinning her for an easy win, Lindsay wanted to send a message to the other girls remaining in the tournament.
She viscously tore into Kat's top and attacked her breasts with kicks, stomps and elbow drops, then she straddled her belly and went to work with her hands, crushing the soft sacks, twisting and pulling, stretching and mutilating the supple flesh until Kat Dennings couldn't take any more and screamed out her surrender!
Winner: Lindsay Lohan, Rd 3, Submission, Breast Mauling
* * *
Scarlett Johansson vs. Jennifer Love Hewitt
Johansson possessed a star power and track record that few of the Queen of the Beach entrants could match , and while Scarletts rack was certainly not the biggest in the field, they may have been the most iconic.
Had the tournament been held in 2007 Jennifer Love Hewitt might have been the hands down favorite. While no doubt past her prime JLH was still a feared and respected competitor. There was nothing Hewitt had not done or had done to her in her career and she had absolutely no fear of the great Scarlett Johansson.
Rd 1 No surprise here! Jennifer Love Hewitt having nothing to lose, charges right at Johansson, stunning the movie star with a bosom-busting collision that not only rocked ScarJo back on her heels, but shook loose her hairdo. Hair in disarray, Scarlett planted her feet just in time to absorb the second impact of JLH's heavy artillery. The third time Jennifer Love tried the same thing, however, ScarJo was ready for her.
Scarlett side-stepped, caught JLH in a Side Headlock and hip-tossed her over and back down on her back in the sand. Scarlett added to the breathtaking impact by landing her hip square on Jen's tummy, driving all the air out of her body. A short elbow smash further disoriented JLH who was unable to offer any resistance when Scarlett planted her bosom squarely over Jennifer's face, wrapped her arms around her head to prevent any chance of turning away, and then rode her face into the sunset. When Hewitt went limp, Scarlett stood up, ripped down Hewitt's top and posed with her foot planted firmly on the brunette's flattened bosom. The rapidity of ScarJo's victory sent shockwaves thru the tournament as the other women got the message that Scarlett Johansson was taking this thing seriously!
Winner: Scarlett Johansson, Rd 1, KO, Breast Smother
* * *
Jennifer Lawrence vs. Kelly Brook
Fans were still fanning themselves trying to catch their breath after seeing Lohan destroy Kat Dennings' proud rack and no sooner had they calmed down than Kelly Brook was introduced in a minuscule little thong bikini that didn't even look like it had ever considered even attempting the (obviously) impossible job of holding her 30H bosom. As Kelly's cleavage wobbled, jiggled, and swayed Jennifer Lawrence just stood off to one side and glared at her. The young blond was an accomplished, proud, and insecure actress. Seeing the frontage facing her across the sandy expanse left her with a sinking feeling as she considered the size of the problem(s) she would have to surmount. Then she took a breath and calmed herself, thinking of the advice another girl had given her. Something along the lines of bigger they are and harder they fall she silently vowed to give Ms. Kelly Brook's beauties a hard fall!
Rd 1 Lawrence used her agility and fitness to run circles around buxom Brit babe Brook. Jen used Kelly's H-cups like they were speedbags in her gym workout, punching the left once with each fist, then moving to the right and giving that one a couple of quick smacks, then whirling away before Kelly Brook could set herself to punch back. In and out, left and right, circle and punch quickly, then retreat and repeat. By the end of the first round, the ten year older Brook was sucking air while young, fit Lawrence was just catching her second wind.
Rd 2 and J-Law was right back in Brook's grill, whiplashing her whoppers like she was chastising a couple of bad puppies for peeing on the carpet. Jen kept popping puppy and grinning as Kelly's defense was being shredded and her pursuit grew slower and slower until she ended the round just standing in the middle of the ring trying to turn as Lawrence danced around her tormenting her titties.
Rd 3 opened with Kelly Brook unleashing a wild attack, throwing everything but the kitchen sink into an all-out, last ditch offensive that produced... a sweaty cleavage and little else. After she'd punched herself out, she slumped with her arms hanging limp at her sides, chest heaving, with no hope and no plan as to what to do next. J-Law took pity on the old woman and instead of making Kelly look any more foolish and helpless than she already had, Jennifer just bounced around her slapping Kelly's big breasts and making them dance. At the final bell, Brook's bosom was bright red, her face flushed, her eyes moist with tears and her expression one of abject defeat.
The fans weren't happy however. They'd come to see action and Lawrence - in their opinion - hadn't delivered the show they thought they'd paid for. Boos rained down on Lawrence as the foregone conclusion of her victory was announced and her face showed her disappointment at their reaction. Her next opponent would suffer for that as she vowed to redeem her reputation in their eyes!
Winner: Jennifer Lawrence, 3-0, Decision
Emily Ratajkowski vs Charlotte Mckinney
Round one of the tournament began with one of the presumptive favorites Kate Upton and Would end with the other Charlotte Mckinney. Mckinney and Upton were longtime friendly rivals as their stunning looks and other otherworldly physiques drew many comparisons. Mckinney mix of athleticism, grace, size and strength made her long time considered the “next” Kate Upton but had since stepped out into her own spotlight. The blonde bombshells were considered the dream match by the fight viewing public, however both would need to navigate the entire Queen of the Beach bracket to make the showdown a reality.
Upton took care of business earlier on dispatching an overmatched Allison Brie. Charlottes journey would begin with what most considered a stiffer challenge in Emily Ratajkowski. The relative newcomer brunette didn't give an inch to Mckinney in height and her lithe athletic body was armed with impressive natural C Cup tits more than game for most in the tournament. But most of all Emily didn't buy the hype , she could care less about Upton vs Mckinney , she was out to make a name for herself.
Both contestants entered the sandy arena to loud ovations. The crowd oohed and ached Emilys barely their grey bikini and erupted when Mckinney revealed a white and blue striped bikini seemingly bursting at its seems. The women stood tit to tit and Emily tried her best not to show her awe at Mckinneys bust as the bell rang.
Rd1 Emily was active and persistent early in the round. The brunettes training focused on movement and agility as there would be no way she could over the power the blonde. Charlotte kept a near expert defense and let little of Emilys offense through. Mckinney was considered an elite fighter in that she had the power to go rack to rack with the biggest busts around and had the athleticism to keep up with even the quickest women in the tournament.
Suddenly Charlotte launched her offensive and caught Emily, picking her high up in the air and body slamming her deep into the sand. Emilys breath escaped her body as she struggled to breathe while hearing the ringing of the bell. Charlotte had taken her first Round of the tournament.
RD2 Would see little more success for the outmatched actress. Charlotte soaked in cheers as she easily worked Ratajkowski from one end of the ring to the other. Mckinney was showing her self to be as skilled as anyone seen so far as she expertly suplexed her opponent square into the sand.
Emily could only see the fuzziness of the sun as she played tits up sprawled across the sand. The crowd when ballistic as the big blonde surprisingly climbed the ropes. Charlotte reached the top of the turnbuckle and launched her self high into the air. Cameras flashed as the bombshell gracefully soared through the bright beach air. Charlotte landed Jugg on Jugg crushing what remaining fight Emily had left in the middle of the ring. Mckinney expertly reversed her position and dropped her devastating rack on the brunettes finished face. Within seconds the 1st round of the Queen of the Beach tournament had come to an explosive end.
Winner Charlotte Mckinney RD KO Smother
After Kate Upton sat front row and applauded Charlottes performance, “Looks like Charlotte just raised the bar for all of us” Kate told the media afterwards. “Im going to have to really put a show on in Round 2 now”
Round one is in the books…
The Second round bracket is official!
Who do you have advancing to the “Elite 8”?
Stay tuned for all the bikini busting action coming soon
Big Thanks to Ginny38!
