[Freefall]

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Blake Lively vs Kate Upton

Blake enters the sandy arena wearing the same orange bikini from 'The Shallows' she wore beating Christina Hendricks in the 1st rd. The keys to that win were her brains and her athleticism, rather than her modest C-cup bosom. Upton still wearing her incredible white bikini from her 1st rd beatdown of Allison Brie - the one concealing only the 'naughty bits' of an awesomely lush and curvy body. The suit was described by a reporter as “fit for a Queen” and Kate fully intends to still be wearing it when the crown is placed on her head after four more victories!
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Rd 1 Blake Lively starts the first five-round fight of the 2nd round with the same tactic she used to wear down Hendricks in her previous match. But that was a three-round fight; this is five rounds which means Blake will have to do more than simply run. Unlike 40yo Hendricks, Upton is 25 and far more athletic than Hendricks, plus she's 5 years younger than Lively! Upton is no dummy either. Having seen how effective Lively's tactic was with Hendricks, Kate doesn't chase her, instead she stakes out a part of the ring to defend and lets Blake circle her, dart in and out, showboat, etc., while she stays put. After four minutes, the crowd is impatient, fed up, and starting to boo. A few fans jeer Lively, taunts her for running and demand she stop dancing and fight. But what really stings is a woman who calls her “a flat chested disgrace.” Red-faced with shame, Blake feels compelled to engage with the younger, stronger, heavier Upton... and play right into Upton's strategy to force Lively to come to her!
The final minute of the round is filled with action - to the crowd's delight - as Blake Lively launches a series of attacks on Upton's upperworks- and each one is soundly rebuffed by the buff blond beauty. The first when Kate casually brushes aside Blake's charge; the second when Upton gives Lively a double straightarm to the chest knocking her back on her heels; and third, and most dramatic, when Upton grabs Blake under the arms, lifts her up in front of her, then tosses her backward onto her butt in the sand. Blake is looking up at Kate in awe when the bell rings before Upton can take advantage of her.
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Rd 2 Lively now fully committed to her policy of engagement has things go badly right from the bell as when she tries to lock up with Upton, Kate just drives her backward. Lively, her legs straining and her feet dug into the yielding sand, is simply overpowered as her feet plow parallel furrows in the sand until her butt hits the ropes, then she's folded back over the sagging top strand. Upton steps back and as Blake straightens up, Upton drives her knee up into Blake's belly doubling her over, then a second knee lift sends Lively's body arching up and backward in the air. Her upper body comes down outside the ring but her legs hit the top rope, cartwheeling her body thru the air until she hits the sand headfirst right in front of the seats where Charlize Theron and Jeri Ryan are sitting. The two blondes, who had both declined invitations to participate, sit in shock as Blake writhes breathless at their feet while the referee starts to count.
“Get her ass back in here!” Upton roared at the two stunned immobile blondes. You BETTER do it NOW or I'll come out there and MAKE you she threatened.
Ryan and Theron scrambled out of their seats, picked up Blake under the arms and dragged her on her knees over to the ropes. As Theron struggled to lift Lively's torso up, Ryan grabbed her legs and FLIPPED her lower body over the top rope. Blake's body teetered on the top rope briefly, then flopped limp into the ring at the referee's feet. She stopped her countout and motioned to Upton to continue.
Kate pulled Lively up by the hair and propped her against the ropes, then as Blake swayed Upton took her arm and pulled her forward, then drove another knee up into Lively's belly. Blake dropped to all fours, then rolled onto her back, her knees drawn up, her hands holding her stomach, her face pale.
Upton looks down on her and smiles, then reaches down and grabs Blake's top between the cups and pulls, dragging the blondes limp body around, her top coming up off her breasts, then riding up to her neck and finally coming off over her head. Kate stops to loop it around Lively's throat, then kicks her over onto her belly and uses her top as a leash to pull her up on all fours. Then Upton pulls the choking and red-faced Lively around the ring on her hands and knees, showing her off to the crowd and making a point of being sure the cameras and the other competitors still remaining in the tournament all get a good look at her.
Kate scoops her up, puts her in a bearhug and squeezes. Lively throws her head back and howls in pain as Upton ratchets up the pressure on her back as Kate's massive mammaries force Blake's bare breasts to flatten under their weight. Lively's legs kick as she tries in vain to escape but to no avail. Just when it looks like Lively's about to submit, however, Upton drops her on the sand and walks over to the side of the ring. She asks the timekeeper, ìHow much time left?î when she's told there's less than a minute left in the round, Kate just shrugs, returns to Lively and hair-hauls her whimpering back to her feet. Then Kate runs her across the ring and flings her bare chest at the sandy surface. Blake hits tits first and plows a deep furrow in the soft sand. As she body slides to a stop, she lifts her head. She's about to spit out the mouthful of sand she'd taken in when Upton arrives and STOMPS on her back, expelling the air in her lungs and sending a cloud of sand into the crowd and over Theron and Ryan's chests just as the bell rings to end the 2nd rd!
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Rd 3 is an anticlimax after the events of the second. Lively doesn't even get to her stool and just sits in the sand leaning against the ropes trying to recover; her bare breasts already sand blasted red and raw with the promise of more yet to come. Helped to her feet, she's little more than barely upright, bent over hands on knees, when the bell rings to start the third round.
Lively wobbles off the ropes with her hands out in front of her, seemingly pleading with Upton for more time to catch her breath...or perhaps just mercy. We'll never know what it was, because Kate gave her neither, or at least nothing except a good ol' fashioned butt whippin'! Upton swept aside Blake's hands and grabbed her belly-to-belly (boobs-to-boobs) and after lifting her off her feet, she began to crush her in a ferocious bearhug. And while Kate was squeezing the air out of Lively, she was staring off to her right where the fighters for the next bout were waiting...watching...and taking note of what was happening right before their eyes!
Upton shook Lively from side to side, her limp arms and legs looking like those air-activated cartoon-like things in front of the used car lots, just flapping and flopping. Only Blake (at least when she entered the ring) had been a lot prettier. Now, her face was flushed bright red, her chest was scraped and rubbed raw, and her hair was a mess, partially covering her face as it swept back and forth as Upton treated her like the rag doll she'd become. When Kate felt she'd shown off her power long enough, she bounced Blake in her arms a couple of times to get her settled just so, then she threw back her head and let out a mighty roar as she just toppled over forward, planting Lively's body HARD into the sand as Kate landed on top of Blake's chest with the full weight of her 140+ pounds!!
The referee knelt and checked Blake, who hadn't moved since she hit the sand - and wouldn't move for another ten minutes, or so, after either! Upton's strength, athleticism...and her savage desire to succeed proved just too much for poor overmatched Blake Lively
Winner: Kate Upton, Rd 3, Pinfall



Yoko Matsugane vs. Hayley Atwell
Hayley Atwell stood smirking as she watched two female EMT's struggling to hold Blake Lively upright after they'd peeled Kate Upton off her chest and pumped air back into Blake's topless body. As the two women half dragged and half carried Lively between them back to the first aid tent, Hayley leaned in and whispered to Blake, “Nice show blondie.” Blake may have mumbled something in reply, though no one, including Atwell, heard her. Across the aisle, Yoko Matsugane stood implacable as ever, her eyes never straying from their laser focus on Atwell... at least not until Upton walked past. Kate turned just slightly as she stepped between Yoko and Hayley, letting her big, sweaty, sand dusted, bosom brush across Yoko's face. Matsugane reacted like she'd been slapped, recoiling as her hand went to her cheek. Upton looked back, and down, over her shoulder and purred, “OH, sorry hon. I didn't see you down there!”Atwell laughed and shook her head sadly, but failed to hide her smirking grin.

Both Atwell and Matsugane had struggled early, but then won first round bouts. Atwell came back after being almost run out of the ring by Sofia Vergara to pin the Colombian Firecracker in the second. Yoko had struggled mightily against big body Chrissy Teigen, looking completely overmatched for the first two rounds, but slamming the door on Chrissy when Teigen foolishly chose to go breast against breast with the mammothly mammaried Matsugane in the third round and got smothered for her hubris. So, two 'upset' winners from the first round meet head-to-head here in the 2nd!
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Rd 1 'Hulking Hayley' outweighs 'little Yoko' by possibly 40 lbs or so say oddsmakers who can access the real weights of the two - unlike the published 'estimates' shown above. The Japanese girl is only two inches shorter than the British Bombshell, but she's much lighter which will be a huge edge for Atwell in the clinches and wrestling. Matsugane's only bigger up top, where it counts which is why Atwell immediately closes to grapple with Yoko to take advantage of her height and weight. Yoko declines to accept Hayley's offer to tie up, instead slipping under and escaping out the back. Atwell turning to follow, runs into a front kick to the belly that takes her breath away. Yoko stepping in with a series of knife edge chops to Hayley's bulging 36E top that force the big woman back step by step. When Atwell's butt hits the ropes, she pushes off and throws an elbow at Yoko's huge breasts, but the nimble Japanese gravure model hops back and the elbow just brushes her as Atwell follows thru.
HAIIIIIIEEEEEE! Matsugane cries as she graps two handfuls of Hayley's hair, drops to one knee and flips Atwell through the air with a classic Hair Mare. Hayley lands heavily and before she can move, Yoko is already on her running leap into the air to land her famous Boob-to-Boob Splash! The impact of all that flesh on her chest not only pancakes Atwell's heavyweight tits, but also knocks the air out of her lungs! Matsugane slithers up Atwell's spasming body to plant her huge bosom over Hayley's red face and Yoko locks it in as she wraps her arms around Atwell's head! With no oxygen in her lungs, Atwell can't muster the strength to push Yoko off and the match is over!! The match is O-V-E-R!!
Yoko Matsugane's rack crushes Hayley Atwell's to bury the Brit in less than two minutes as Atwell goes down, and out!
Yoko hardly broke a sweat in eliminating one of the fan favorites in Hayley Atwell. And Yoko's not done!! Matsugane calling for the PA microphone…”Kate Upton” the victorious Japanese woman says as she holds her conquering juggs…..”You’re next”

Winner: Yoko Matsugane, Rd 1, KO, Breast Smother






Abigail Ratchford vs. Kim Kardashian

Young Abigail Ratchford accompanied to the ring by her close personal friend Lindsey Pelas (also competing). The 'two greatest models on Instagram' met modeling and the relationship quickly evolved. Now they're talking about shooting a hot video, but there's concern such a video - if/when released - could literally break the Internet. Pelas' fight vs. Kylie Jenner scheduled immediately after Ratchford's, so Lindsey hangs around ringside to give her bestie encouragement. Leave it to 'big bust' models to find the perfect way to upstage a Kardashian... when Kim's introduced and starts to strut her stuff to the ring (accompanied by semi-sister Kylie Jenner, Kim's totally ignored; all eyes are on Abi and Linds hugging with four magnificent mammaries bulging out from between their tightly clenched torsos. Kim and Kylie seething when they get to the ring and only the mandatory prefight meet with the ref for the instructions avoids a confrontation. Kylie is shown to a chair just two away from Pelas in the front row and they're photographed giving each other side eyes. (Stay tuned; they're coming up next!)
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Rd 1 opens with fireworks, naturally. Kardashian flies out of her corner before the bell to attack Ratchford on her stool! The bell rings while Kim is throwing punches and it feels oddly unfair. The crowd voices their displeasure to the timekeeper who just shrugs! Abigail fights her way up off her stool and out of her corner showing the result of Kim's power punching with a cut lip streaming blood! Kim's about 6î shorter than Ratchford, which makes it easy to get her hands on Abigail's goodies and Kim delights in abusing them early and often. Ratchford's pale flesh quickly polished to a bright pink sheen by Kim's straight-on power punching whenever she's not groping, grabbing and mauling.
Kardashian staying low, moving her head to avoid most of the young models attempts to punch, and when low Kim not bashful targeting the waistband of Abigail's bikini, and often well below that. Referee doesn't seem to be as concerned about the illegal low blows as Ratchford who bleats in protest each time her pubic mound is pounded...which happens more & more frequently as the round goes on. By the end of the first round, Ratchford's left breast is hanging out of her top and she can barely walk back to her stool so tender is her battered groin. Kardashian's greeted by Khloe and Kendall with high fives and a hug from Kylie. Ratchford only consoling is the ice pack that Pelas shoves down the front of Abi's bikini before she gently tucks Abigail's red, raw, breast back in her top.
While the Kardashian's plot further torment for Abigail, Lindsey Pelas begging the big brunette, Ya gotta be tougher, honey
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Rd 2 Abigail taking Linds advice, smacks the taste out of Kim's mouth in the opening minute of the round with a huge right hand SLAP, then a cracking backfist  with the same hands return trip. Kim recoiling in shock at being slapped (something that doesn't happen to a Kardashian often. Abi's big kick to the belly knocks Kim on her big butt, leaving a broad dimple in the soft sand when she scrambles to her feet and scurries to the (relative) safety of her corner where Kylie is lurking. ìDon't take any crap from that big moose,î Kylie tells her as Kim lopes past wiping saliva off her chin. Ratchford chases Kim down, grabs a fistful of hair and drags her back to her, then wraps her arms around Kim's chest and Bearhugs her, lifting the shorter brunette off her feet and shaking her.
But Kim's too heavy for Abigail to hold up for long and eventually Ratchford drops her and stumbles back to catch her breath, leaving Kim on her knees panting and rubbing her nearly crushed bosom. Kim gets up and turns, fists raised as Abigail comes toward her. THUMP! THUD! THWAP! Three quick rights by Kardashian slam into Ratchford's belly, sounding like she hit a bass drum! Abigail gags as her knees buckle before a straight right from Kim pancakes Ratchford's huge left breast - which Kim targeted in the first round. Abigail sits down in the soft sand with tears welling in her eyes. She looks up just as Kardashian's right foot smashes into her left breast again and Abi goes sprawling on her back with a squeal of pain!
“Sounds like yur hurt, ya fat pig” Kylie cackles. “Kick 'er again, Kimmie”

“GET UP ABI!”pleads Lindsey, rising; hands clutched to her heaving, jiggly, bosom.
Ratchford grabs the ropes - and almost pulls the ring down when she uses them to drag herself up onto her feet. Grinning, Kardashian moves in and throws another right to Abigail's left breast, but this time Ratchford gets her left forearm up in time to block it, and she shoots out her own right that lands BANG flush on Kim's nose! Blood gushes down over Kim's mouth and chin and dripping onto her chest where it disappears into her deep cleavage. Kim, eyes wide with shock, staggers backward, her left hand over her bloody nose. Abigail, suddenly revitalized with a rush of confidence, charges Kim and, lowering her shoulder, slams into the short brunette and bulldozes her off her feet and they fall on the sand....Kim on her back with Abigail on top! Ratchford rears up and pounds Kim's fulsome rack with both fists while Kardashian frantically waves her arms trying in vain to block her.
Clever catfightin' Kim desperately reaches up and pulls down Abigail's top, then when her whoppers come tumbling down right in front of her, Kim grabs on tight with both fists and squeezes...and squeezes. With Kim pulling her down by her tits, and with Kim's arms raised, Abigail's fists can't get to Kim's face, so she tries punching Kim in the sides, or her breasts. Neither is making Kim release her tits, however, and Kardashian's strong hands are crushing her breasts. The pliant flesh is turning blue and Abigail can't stand the pain any longer. Reluctantly, she struggles to stand up with Kim doggedly hanging on... until Kim's own weight is too much for her and her hands slip off of Abigail's sweat-slick breasts.
As Kim falls back on the sand, Abigail stumbles backward, almost tripping in the soft sand, then righting herself and turning away to carefully return her 'outed' breasts to what little protection her bikini top provides.
Abigail starts back toward Kim who is struggling to get up, when suddenly, someone grabs the back of Ratchford's bikini bottom. She tries to turn around but is pulled back against the ropes. When she looks back, she sees Kylie Jenner has reached thru the ropes and grabbed her. Just when Kim is up and staring toward Abigail who is trapped against the ropes, Lindsey Pelas arrives to tackle Kylie, who pulls Abi's bikini bottom down around her thighs as she's taken down to the sand. As Pelas and Jenner wrestle on the ground, Abi fumbles trying to pull up her bottom, but she's having trouble and Kim takes advantage, hammering two more hard rights into Abigail's unprotected belly. Big huff of breath from Abigail blows Kim's loosened hair back from her face as Ratchford's knees buckle and she reaches out to hug Kim, trying to stay on her feet.
Meanwhile, two ushers and a back-up referee assisted by three spectators managed to separate Pelas and Jenner who kept kicking and snarling the whole time. Officials warn them both they could be disqualified if they don't behave and they're sent to opposite sides of the ring and warned not to go near one another until their fight starts.
When fans looked back in the ring, they saw Kim had Abigail in a front headlock, pumping one knee after another up into Ratchford's (once more) free-swinging breasts which Kim had freed from their 'protection.' Say what you will about the Kardashian's fighting ability - such as it is - but that family DOES does know how to find a weakness and then work it to death! Kim' had her eyes on Abigail's E-cuppers since the opening bell and her whoppers have taken a real working over thus far!
Abigail blinking back tears as she planted her feet in the sand and tried to push Kim back onto the ropes. Kim wrenched Abi's head from side to side continually working on her neck. After each forward step Ratchford took, Kim again snapped a Kneelift up into those exposed and vulnerable big soft breasts just swinging and swaying there like two big beach balls! Each time Kim's knee slammed into one or the other, Ratchford's big body would jerk and the foot on that side of her body lifted off the sand, losing traction. It was a long, painful, journey for Abigail Ratchford, but she eventually pushed Kim back against the ropes. There, she reached up and got her hands under Kim's chin, then slowly bent her backward between the top and middle ropes!
Abigail reached over the top rope with both hands and grabbed Kim's hair, then started kicking at Kardashian's short, thick, legs. Time and again Abi kicked until she finally managed to knock Kim off her feet. Kim's body dropped, but Ratchford had gotten Kim's chin above the top rope and now it was cutting into her throat as she hung in mid-air, her feet kicking wildly on either side of Abigail's legs!
The referee moved in to watch closely, unwilling to interfere until, or unless, Kardashian was in danger of serious injury. Fortunately for all concerned, the bell rang ending the 2nd round before that. Reluctantly, Abigail released Kim who fell  on her butt in the sand, her hands at her throat, her face flushed. Ratchford angrily kicked sand at Kim as she turned away and, cradling her aching breasts in her arms, trudged to her corner where Lindsey Pelas once again replaced her friends battered breasts in her top. This time, Pelas didn't have to ice down Abi's groin but she had her hands full icing down Abi's tortured titties anyway!
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Rd 3, after the all too brief break (with Kim rubbing her sore neck and trying to catch her breath while Abigail held ice packs on her chest) both were slow to rise; neither very eager to resume the fight, but after some hesitation, they did!
Abigail had finally realized her mistake of not taking the shorter, chunkier, Kim as seriously as she should and she was determined to fix that! As soon as Kim was within reach, Abigail lunged, grabbed her up high and pulled her into a front Bearhug. Even as she plunged Kim's face into her cleavage, Ratchford realized she's only compounded her first mistake with a second one! Pulling Kim into her only make it easier for Kardashian to get to her body. While Abigail held Kim's head, KK's fists had free rein to punch her paunch and Abi's belly took a lot of punishment before she shoved Kim away. But Kardashian liked being close and as Abigail extended her arms to repel her, Kim snagged the waistband of Ratchford's bikini bottom and pulled herself back!
Since the elastic had already been stretched and stressed the round before, it easily slipped down below Abigail's butt and she had to reach back to grab it with her left hand to avoid a dreaded wardrobe malfunction.But by holding onto her bikini, Abigail was reduced to a one-handed fighter and Kim quickly took advantage by reaching up and clamping onto both of Abigail's big boobs at once. Now Kim had forced Ratchford to make a hard choice: hang onto her pride and her bikini and let her tits suffer more pain and agony, or surrender her bikini and her pride to save her prodigious boobs. While Ratchford pondered her options, Kim closed her fists and squeezed until Abigail's soft flesh bulged between her spread fingers. Abigail made her decision in that instant, letting go of her bikini bottom to grab Kim's wrists and attempt to get her breasts free!
The crowd whooped and cheered for while the two woman's bodies wriggled as they fought over Kim's having possession of Abi's proud tits, Ratchford's bikini bottom kept slipping lower and lower. Kendall and Khloe led the crowd in chants taunting Abigail for showing her ass while Ratchford's cherubic cheeks blushed redder and redder. Abi's faithful 'partner' Lindsey Pelas was beside herself, running back and forth at ringside waving her hands pleading for the crowd to stop teasing Abigail. Which only made them increase their harassment. The fans were egged on, naturally, by Khloe and Kendall Kardashian and Kylie Jenner. They were soon joined ringside by Kris Jenner and little Kourtney - who steered clear of her much bigger siblings.
Once Abigail succeeded in prying Kim's vice-grip hands from her throbbing taa-taas, she lashed out, angrily slapping Kim several times as she chased the shorter brunette across the ring. When she corner Kim on the ropes and tried to wrestle her to the sand where Kim's weight advantage would be less, Kylie again reached in and tried to interfere. And again, Lindsey Pelas came running over to stop her.

Now that Pelas had her back, Abigail was able to concentrate fully on Kim who was starting to show signs of fatigue after struggling almost non-stop for close to fifteen minutes against the taller brunette. With Kim's back to the ropes, Abigail repaid Kim for a small part of her earlier pain, after hiking up her bikini bottom from mid-thigh, by giving Kim's midsection several hard kneelifts - which were far more effective from a tall woman against a shorter one than the other way!  Kim's body lifted into the air, both feet leaving the sand, each time Abi's knee slammed into her belly or chest. The kneelifts to Kim's chest were specially effective, they not only hurt like h#ll, they made it impossible for her to catch a breath. After a half dozen kneelifts, Kim was reeling and out of oxygen.
Abigail hooked both of Kim's arms, lifted her and then sat down and drove Kim facefirst to the sand as she sat. The 'Double Underhook Implant Buster' (Faceplant) buried Kim's face in the sand between Ratchford's thighs and as her face went into the sand, her feet flew up, then her legs flopped back down and she lay still. But as Abigail rolled Kim over for the pin, the bell rang ending the third round, the second time in six minutes Abigail had been within seconds of victory only to have it slip away!
As soon as Abigail walked away, two Kardashian's scrambled in and dragged Kim's limp body to her corner where they worked to try to get Kim ready for the next round. First, they cleared her mouth and nose of sand that had been driven in when she faceplanted. Then they had to get her breathing so she could fight. Kendall gave her mouth-to-mouth for a bit to oxygenate her system! Kris said as Kim got up for the fourth round, Stay the h#ll away from her. Good advice!
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Rd 4 opened with Kim still woozy and not too steady on her feet and Abigail having had her fill of Kim's abuse, struck quickly to take advantage. She feinted right, then when Kim tried to escape, Abigail sprang back left and tackled Kim who went down hard. Abigail hammered a few rights and lefts into Kim's belly, driving out the air from her lungs her family had worked so hard to put in seconds before. Now Abigail was in her element, and she knew exactly how to perform her next maneuver, one she'd done perfectly countless times. She'd even performed it at parties and events to raise money for charity. It was something she called, the inescapable breast smother and it worked exactly as you'd expect it to.
Abigail laid on top of Kim, pulled down her top (the last time it'd happen in THIS match), carefully arranged her breasts on Kim's face, then clamped them in place with her biceps as she held Kim's head by the hair, her fingers interlaced behind Kim's head and rose up on her knees, getting the full weight of her hips, butt and thighs, behind it as she bore down with unrelenting pressure on the face of the woman who'd made her day a living hell for so long!
Kim struggled briefly, then realizing she hadn't the strength - or the oxygen - she needed to resist any longer, she began to beat her hands on the sand, slap Abigail's back arms and any other part of her she could reach. The referee took her time in coming over to check, but it was obvious to everyone that Kim Kardashian had submitted. The referee hadn't even made the signal before the Kardashian women swarmed the ring to start pulling Abigail Ratchford off of Kim. 
Winner: Abigail Ratchford, Rd 4, Submission, Breast Smother




Lindsey Pelas vs. Kylie Jenner

BREAKING NEWS... Santa Monica, Cal... Abigail Ratchford was rushed to hospital after being attacked in her dressing room following her match at tonight's 'Queen of the Beach' event... reports say Ratchford was beaten by unidentified assailants"... no one has claimed credit as yet... details at 11:00

The crowd is just now being told that Abigail Ratchford will NOT be in Lindsey's corner, the only reason given is, an incident in her dressing room. She's being taken to the hospital after an attack backstage after her match. Lindsey Pelas was in her dressing room and unaware of the attack at the time! Security is investigating, but no suspects have been detained, nor has anyone been named as a person of interest.

Of curse, under the circumstances, speculation about possible involvement of one or more Kardashian's was rampant in the twitterverse.

Meanwhile as for THIS fight, Kylie Jenner will need all she can bring because Pelas’ outgun Kylie’ big time. Jenner has her sister Kim Kardashian as backup. Kim, who minutes ago lost her match to Abigail Ratchford, looks ready and eager to help her step-sister salvage the family honor.
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Rd 1 opens with the clearly upset Pelas in all-out attack mode, leaping out to rock Kylie's rack with a series of chest-to-chest F-Bombs as Pelas nicknamed her chest bashing attack mode. Kylie reels, knocked back on her heels for most of the first two minutes. She can't keep her balance and Pelas' unrelenting pressure prevents her from displaying any of her self-vaunted offensive prowess! Kim vocally supports her (half) sister, telling Kylie, Puncture her big balloons, babe! But even with Kim's support, the round's into its third minute before Pelas stops to catch her breath, giving Kylie her first chance to respond to Pelas' opening attack!

Kylie, unsuited for breast-to-breast fighting with Lindsey, resorts to her fists and makes good use of them; whipsawing lefts and rights at Lindsey's head. The blonde is forced to duck and dodge and run, but she's effective in doing it, backpedaling behind raised fists as she waits for Jenner to punch herself out...which she soon does! When Jenner stops moving forward, Pelas tackles Kylie around the hips and takes her to the sand on her back. Pelas uses elbows and knees to punish Jenner as their thrashing feet kick up a haboob of sand that sends fans ringside scurrying for cover rubbing watering eyes!

In the sand, Pelas' grappling skills are superior to Jenner's and the busty battler has her way with Kylie - until Kim reaches in to grab Lindsey's ankle and pull her to the ropes Kim punches her in the side of the head, but Pelas kicks at Kim and her third kick hits Kim's over-inflated chest and sends her sprawling! Before Pelas can turn back around, however, Kylie jumps on her back, slams her facefirst in the sand and wraps her arms around her head. Kylie's Rear Naked Choke isn't expertly applied, but it's adequate - at least for the time being - and Pelas' face is soon bright red as she writhes, throwing elbows back in futile attempts to escape Kylie's choke.

Since the referee doesn't seem to care about her lurking at the ropes, Kim Kardashian takes a few shots at Pela's unprotected puppies before being chased by the ref who forces Kylie to release her chokehold. When the referee pushes Kylie back, Pelas sits up gasping and gulping air but Kim takes two more shots at Pelas' chest before Lindsey scrambles away on all fours and gets to her feet panting. Kylie tries to grab Lindsey, but the little blonde nimbly sidesteps and pulls her foot from Jenner's grasp before she can secure it. Hopping away on one foot, Pelas pauses to adjust her top, displaced during Kardashian's rack attack at the ropes, then she kicks sand in Kim's face before she gets back to the job of dealing with Kylie!

Pelas raises her hands and challenges Kylie to a 'test of strength' and Kylie accepts, raising her own hands in response. They lock hands, then with biceps bulging, they arch their bodies and dig their toes in the sand as each tries to force the other back. Despite looking stronger, Pelas is the one slowly being pushed backward until her butt hits the ropes. As the referee maneuvers around them, Kardashian drives her fist into Pelas' kidney, buckling her knees which gives Kylie the opening she needed to push Lindsey's head and shoulders out between the top and middle ropes. Kim Kardashian grabs Pelas' perky blond ponytail and pulls her head back and down, then hammers away with her other hand, Knife Edge Chopping both of Pela's big, soft, breasts. Pelas screaming, protesting, demanding the referee do something.

Pelas' puppies take a good thrashing from Kardashian before Lindsey is able to drop to her knees and wriggle her torso until she's got herself back inside the ring. Kylie, looking down at Lindsey's again displaced top, licks her lips as she slams a knee up into Lindsey's heaving chest... over and over and over! Only when Pelas is wheezing and gasping for air does Kylie release her hands and step back.

Lindsey cradles her now bruised boobs in her arms as she struggles to her feet and stumbles away from Jenner who takes her time pursuing making Kim scream, What're you waiting for? Kylie gives her sister the finger as she casually walks up behind Pelas who is more concerned with 'reholstering her weapons' than watching her back. Kylie knees Lindsey in the back of her thigh, then again behind her knee, buckling her leg. As Pelas drops to one knee, Jenner again puts  Lindsey in a Rear Naked Choke, slowly riding her to her knees, then pushes her forward onto all fours. Straddling Pelas' back, Jenner sits and leans forward, tightening her grip while adding a Leg Scissors to her waist as Lindsey's face turns red; hands pawing futilely at Jenner's forearms.

Pelas starts to crawl in the loose sand toward the ropes, hoping to force the referee to break Kylie's hold. Just as she raises her hand to grab the bottom rope, Kim pulls it out of reach and Lindsey falters, then collapses on her belly, her fulsome frontage plowing twin furrows in the yielding sand.

ìPoor baby,î Kim cackles. ìSalvation was so close, and then so far.î

As Kylie wrenches her head from side-to-side working in the Chokehold, Lindsey pushes with her feet as she claws her fingers in the sand trying to drag herself to the ropes to escape a certain chokeout. Kim rises up and leans back, putting her not inconsiderable butt into stretching the Manila hemp rope as far as possible. As Pelas' last attempt falls just inches short of reaching the rope, the bell rings to end Round One and the referee forces Kylie to release Lindsey. Pelas collapses face down in the sand, her face in her hands, her mouth gulping in life-giving oxygen to her lungs. Pelas barely has enough time to catch her breath and get back on her feet before the warning buzzer sounds.
* *
Lindsey's Rd 2 has her walking out to face Kylie again, but now she's very aware of the danger lurking at the ropes where Kardashian moves panther-like around the perimeter, staying abreast of the action inside the ring with her eyes locked on Lindsey. Pelas keeps her distance from the ropes which makes wrestling difficult since Jenner is heavier and has shown she can push Pelas close enought to the ropes for Kim to grab and she can't wait to punish Pelas some more.

But when Jenner puts up her fists and challenges Pelas to box, Lindsey realizes she has little choice other than to accept. She can't risk being forced back onto the ropes so, reluctantly, she puts up her 'dukes' and engages (cautiously). Kylie is surprised when her challenge is accepted and hesitates momentarily. Pelas lands several hard punches without an answer from Jenner, then Lindsey goes low and drives a hard left into Kylie's right side, buckling her knees. Jenner answers with a cuffing right hand high on Pelas' head that doesn't hurt her. They trade body shots, then Pelas goes headhunting while Kylie targets the two things that are hard for her to miss because they're bouncing wildly in the middle of Lindsey's chest right in front of her!

Lindsey's breasts are already throbbing from Kim's earlier abuse and Kylie's punches were really making them hurt even more. But it's no picnic for Kylie either; she's not enjoying getting the saliva smacked out of her mouth, and she tears up after a Pelas' right smacks her left eye, swelling it almost instantly. Despite her best efforts, Kylie feels she has to get close with Pelas to save her face from more damage - even at the risk having to wrestle her! After chasing Pelas for almost a minute, Kylie finally corners the elusive little sprite and gets her hands on her. When they lock up and begin grapple center ring, Kim yells at Kylie, Get her ass over here!

Pelas panics at the thought of being subjected to more Kardashian abuse, but once Kylie has her in a bearhug (with two handfuls of Lindsey's bikini bottom to aid in controlling her) Jenner slowly begins to push, pull and wrestle Pelas closer and closer to the ropes where Kim is waiting with her arms extended between the top and middle ropes. Frantically, Pelas looks over at the referee and pleads, The next thing Pelas knows, she's screaming as her hair is yanked as her head is jerked back sharply until she's staring up at the cloudless blue sky overhead.

Unnnggghhhh.....Lindsey groans as Kylie knees her square on her 'mound of Venus'! As Pelas waves her hands blindly in front of her trying to grab Kylie Jenner, Kim reaches over her shoulder and grabs a big handful of her sweet breastmeat and starts to squeeze with crushing force! AAIIIIEEEEE Pelas cries when Kim pulls her back against the ropes by the back of her bikini top and starts to molest her mountainous mammarys. Kylie steps back, whirls and SPLAT brings her left foot up and around slamming into Lindsey's belly. As the air is driven out of her, Pelas' knees buckle and Kim has to struggle to hold her upright while Kylie prepares for another kick.

WHAP! Kylie's second kick lands much lower then first; below the waistband of Lindsey's bikini bottom! Pelas' body tries to double over but Kim's strong arms wrapped around her torso make that impossible - trapping her against the ropes and holding her for Kylie who tears into Pelas' soft body with a barrage of fists so quick the eyes of the spectators see only a blur of motion! Lindsey's boobs jumping and jerking as the knuckles of young Kylie Jenner pound away.

The referee, finally having seen enough of Kim's blatant interference, walks over and tells her to let go of poor Pelas. Kim raises her arms and lets Lindsey's body crumple to the sand at Kylie's feet. Jenner sneers as she stomps on Pelas several times, then hi-fives Kim. But as Jenner is dragging Lindsey away from the ropes, the bell rings to end the 2nd round. Jenner turns around, and bellows a scream of protest at the referee who merely shrugs and points to the clock. Then the referee takes Kylie's arm and pulls her toward the corner where Kylie's corner is waiting for her. Behind her, Pelas struggles to her hands and knees, then slowly, painfully, the young blond crawls to her corner and collapses on her butt, leaning back against the corner post. With no one to attend her, Lindsey Pelas struggles to reach thru the ropes for her water bottle.

Rd 3 doesn't go any better for Pelas than rounds 1 and 2 as Jenner uses her height and weight to bully l Lindsey around the ring. Every time Pelas is near the ropes, Kim Kardashian would punch, elbow, or kick her, often knocking her down. Once she was on the sand, Kylie would wrap her in another choke hold, sapping the strength of the buxom youngster and wearing down her resistance. Late in the round, it seemed as if all of Pelas' strength had left her as - once more near the ropes - Kardashian reached under the ropes to grab Lindsey's wrists and hold her down as Kylie straddled her chest and sat back to cover Lindsey's face with her butt.

Pelas' legs kicked and thrashed as she rocked her hips from side to side, bucked her lower body and bicycled her feet in the air, all in futile and fruitless attempts to unseat young Jenner who had no trouble maintaining her seat with Kim controlling Pelas arms. It was only a matter of a minute, perhaps thirty seconds more, before Lindsey Pelas struggles stopped and she lay still under Kylie Jenner's firm glutes at the referee counted to ten.   

Winner: Kylie Jenner, Rd 3, Pinfall, Facesit


Brooklyn Decker vs Alice Goodwin

If fans didn't know who Alice Goodwin was before this tournament, now they did! The powerfully built British bombshell, had utterly decimated Lucy Pinder in Rd1. She didn't even give poor Lucy enough time to regain consciousness before she was calling out her next opponent, the blonde Yank bombshell Brooklyn Decker.
Following her beat down of Lucy Pinder, a video of Goodwin confronting a loud group of Brooklyn Decker fans had gone viral. The clip showed Alice tossing Pinder's damp, ruined, top in the face of a young fan waving an autographed Brooklyn Decker poster and while the video was blurred, the audio came thru clear as a bell.
"You tell your girl Brooklyn that whatever's left of her famous yellow bikini will be the property of Alice Goodwin after the match!"
Decker seethed as she watched the video of Goodwin harassing her supporters. Brooklyn could hardly believe the nerve and disrespect this "no body nobody" was showing her... and the entire Tournament.
Decker was quoted in the media firing back to the busty black haired bitch, "I don't know who this Alice Goodwin thinks she is, or where she gets off disrespecting me and my loyal fan club, but I do know ... this yellow bikini is going to kick her big ass back to whatever hole it crawled out of!
The people were firmly on the side of the radiant blonde All-American, but experts where sharply divided. Decker was known to be one of a handful of competitors who could seriously challenge for the throne. But there had been concerns in some quarters that  sweet Brooklyn would be exposed by  nasty Eva Green. But when Brooklyn Decker thoroughly dominated Green, she showed the world she had  the right stuff.

And while Goodwin was a relative mystery, it was well-known she possessed near unrivaled power and flaunted a fearsome front-end. Alice wasn't the athlete Decker was, but then few were! But European  experts- writers who'd watched Goodwin's rise and seen her in action against some of the best  Euro-Bodiesquestioned whether or not Deckers lithe body was capable of going toe-to-toe with the black clad powerhouse. The world was about to find out.
* * * *
Brooklyn walked out onto the sandy beach first... absolutely breathtaking in her signature bombshell blonde yellow bikini. The beach crowd showed they were decidedly behind the  girl next door by their cheers as she hi-fived her fans and stretched for the crowd. Decker loved their adoration and was determined to give  my people show they'd remember for years.
Then a chorus of booing when Goodwin appeared out of the changing tent and slowly made her way to the ring in the same fierce black bikini Alice had worn to destroy Pinder. The Brit bathed in the crowd's jeers which seemed to only fuel her passion. Halfway to the ring, Goodwin stopped before a group of  Brooklyn Backers and then spit on them, which further incensing her opponent. It took two of Decker's handlers to hold her back as she tried to go after Goodwin outside the ring!
The two combatants finally came together in the middle of the ring where, as most expected,  the blonde held a very slight edge in height. The ringside observers however couldn't helped but find them awestruck at Aliceís epic rack. Brooklyn Decker was a 36DD all day but for the first time in her career she was clearly outgunned as she went Jugg to Jugg with her rival. Yet neither Brooklyn nor Brooklyn's Boobs backed down as ringside microphones picked up the last bit of posturing between the two would-be Queens of the Ring.
“Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, bitch. I'm sending you and those freak show tits home after this match,”Decker said with a confident grin.
Alice responded oozing malice from every pore.  When I'm finished with you Brookie Bitch you’ll never wear that cheap slutty bikini again.She emphasized the threat by grabbing her big boobs and rubbing them against Brooklyn's. Again, it took two of Decker's handlers to pull her away from Goodwin and back to her corner where she stood; face flushed and muttering as they awaited the bell.
* * * *
As soon as the bell rang, the battle was on! The time for talk was over and both women collided rack-on-rack at center ring. Brooklyn's adoring fans couldn't help being stunned by the size advantage of the woman in black over the blonde! Brooklyn - never one to back down - thrust out her own formidable pair, challenging the brash Brit.
Alice smiled,  How's it feel being second, eh bitch?î
Goodwin's taunt had barely left her mouth when the blonde slapped her square across her face! The fans cheered as Goodwin stumbled back, momentarily stunned when Decker's strike scrambled her vision. Then Alice loosed a scream and charged the blonde bombshell like a raging bull. Brooklyn's eyes widened as she saw the black bikini bearing down on her, but she expertly side-stepped and the careening Goodwin slammed tits-first into the ropes.
When Alice turned around, she was hit by a textbook Missile Drop Kick by Decker that sent  Goodwin tumbling ass over tea kettle over the top rope, crashing down on the sand outside the ring. The pro-Decker crowd went berserk.
It was obvious to Alice, if it hadn't been before, that Brooklyn Decker was a step or two up in class from Lucy Pinder, her previous victim - or anyone else she'd fought for that matter.
Round 1 ended with Alice keeping a respectful distance from Decker as she tried to reorient herself and clear the cobwebs. Decker's early lead proved her to be the more athletic of the two as she was showing to the world.
If Alice Goodwin's fans had been frustrated by her performance in the 1st round, many turned off the their tele in the second for she simply could not catch Decker. The quicker supermodel glided across the sand with a nimble grace Alice simply could not match. The black clad brunette tried desperately to get her powerful offense untracked, but at every opportunity her attempts to punch or kick landed only on empty air and her anger - and frustration - grew.
Each time Goodwin whiffed on a haymaker, Brooklyn responded with well-placed shots to her body, her heavy tits or her head. Decker had done her homework and realized she couldn't  match Goodwin punch-for-punch, kick-for-kick, or bust-to-bust. Decker knew she was the more mobile and used it to her advantage time and again.
Round 2 ended with Goodwin storming to her corner where she screamed in frustration at her corner workers while Decker flashed her pearly whites at her joyous fans and took a dominating 2-0 lead in the match.
Decker began Round 3 looking to take a decisive 3-0 lead on  big bad Alice and, so far, she had showed the European Goodwin to be nothing but a paper champion. Goodwin had struggled to find any consistency on offense while Decker had time and again found gaping holes in her defense. When Decker threw fists, Alice couldn't keep them off her tiring body. Brooklyn's punches weren't haymakers by any means, they were sharp, crisp, and they were taking their toll as Alice was backed against the ropes where she took a Decker left-right combination to her bulging tits. Goodwin squealed as she sat back and fell through the ropes, landing on her ass in the rising surf beside the beach side ring.
Brooklyn wasn't about to let the bitch who'd embarrassed her fans escape that easily and she climbed out of the ring and chased the retreating Goodwin into the surf. Alice smiled as the furious blonde ran toward her and raised her hands. They circled in the cool knee high surf as Alice continued to retreat further into deeper water. Brooklyn chased her until they were waist deep and Brooklyn saw the devilish smile curl Alice's lips as she stopped retreating and came toward her.
In the deep, swirling, waves of the surf, the blonde couldn't move quickly enough to avoid Goodwin's lunge and when Alice wrapped her in a bearhug, both women fell in the churning water. Two bikini clad bombshells wrestled underwater as the TV cameras zoomed in on the action, unable to make out what was happening beneath the surf other than when an arm, leg, or head would briefly break the surface, then be pulled back under again!
Finally, one woman rose from the roiling surf, water cascading down her now topless body as,  she emerged from the cool blue water dragging her opponent by the hair toward the shore. Decker's fans groaned in dismay, their stomachs dropping as Goodwiin dragged the gasping blonde by her sand matted hair up onto the hard sandy shore just as the bell rang to end Round 3.
Brooklyn Decker desperately coughed and sputtered as she tried to expel water from her lungs and replace it with precious oxygen. Judges ringside weren't sure what to make of Brooklyn and Alice's swim and, after a caucus, they ruled the 3rd Round a draw!
Decker's corner worked feverishly to pump the supermodel's body to get her in shape for Round 4 while Goodwin spent her 'rest period' admonishing the judges for their failure to  award her the round.
At the bell initiating Round 4, Brooklyn was still trying to focus and her suddenly weary legs couldn't answer the command to 'move' and thus buy her the time she needed to finish her recovery. Alice charged into Decker's corner, smashed into her and they bounced off the turnbuckle. Brooklyn stumbled to the center of the sandy ring where Goodwin caught her by the arm, spun her around to face her and delivered a thunderous right hand uppercut to Decker's taught middle well below her belly button!
The blonde bombshell's mouth gaped wide as the air in her body was expelled in a huge gust as her gut imploded on impact! Decker's once raucous fans fell silent as Goodwin slammed her forearm across Decker's DoubleD's and drove her backward into the ropes where Decker hung limp and gasping for air while Alice  entangled the breathless blondes arms in the ropes, then stood back to admire her handiwork. The battered body of the All-American girl hung limp, her arms spread wide, her butt resting on the middle strand of the ring ropes, her arms firmly secured by the top rope wrapped around them.
Alice Goodwin despised Brooklyn Decker's personality, and she hated the blonde's iconic yellow bikini. Alice 'knew' it should have been her on all of Decker's magazine covers and her lame rom-com movies. Now, Goodwin would ensure sheíd never see Decker flaunting her  stupid yellow bikini ever again!
The silenced beach was pierced by Brooklyn's shrill shrieks as Alice took her time; aiming her punches with pin-point precision; hammering Brooklyn's bouncing yellow bikini cups over and over and over. Goodwin bared her fangs as her fists smashed Brooklyn's proud blond boobs flat until her bikini top burst from the strain. Many of Decker's fans turned away, unable to watch while teenage girls wept in despair as they saw Alice Goodwin lay waste to their favorite girl next door. Brooklyn groaned when her beloved bikini top finally parted under the mean-hearted assault of the black clad bitches fistic assault. TV Cameras zoomed in for close-up's as Decker's world famous bikini top unraveled, popped open, then fluttered slowly to the sand to be trampled under Goodwin's feet as she continued to batter the helpless blonde's body!†
Alice finally paused her assault to catch her breath and assess the mouth-watering sight of Brooklyn's luscious, bare, breasts as they heroically tried to resist the steady pull of gravity. The All-American blonde's lips quivered as she whimpered, trying to stifle her sobs with everything in her, struggling not to scream as Alice clamped her hands onto her massive mammaries, hefting them in her palm as if they were melons she was buying in a country market.
But even proud Brooklyn Decker couldn't hold back her tears when Alice slowly closed her fists on Brooklyn's DD's and dug her claws deep into the smooth, soft, flesh of Decker's once  proud, pale, prized, puppies. As Alice crushed them in her fists, tears ran in rivers down the blonde's reddening cheeks!

Brooklyn's worst nightmare become real as Alice untangled her arms and then forced her to her knees where, with tantalizingly slow, cruel, deliberation, she pushed the unresisting blonde over onto her back. Once Brooklyn lay flat in the sand, Alice calmly straddled the beaten blonde, pinned her limp, useless, arms with her knees and she sat down on her belly where she casually continued to apply crushing pressure to her breasts in her clenched fists.†
With Brooklyn far beyond the point of being able to resist, Alice raised her right hand, showed the crowd her fist and  SMACK pounded it straight down, pancaking Brooklyn's left breast flat against her chest! Brooklyn's legs lifted out of the sand briefly, then fell back limp and lifeless.
Alice raised her left hand, made a fist and SPLAT pancaked Brooklyn's right breast just as flat. Again, Brooklyn's legs rose, then fell in reaction. Grinning, Alice began to pound away with mindless fury, raining devastation down on Brooklyn's battered breasts with both fists; pummeling them with jealous ferocity. Brooklyn struggled weakly, but she could no more than try to will herself to stay conscious in a final, futile gesture of resistance while the brutal brunette bitch pinched, punched, pulled, and pounded her jugs until she turned the underlying breast to jelly.
Finally, Brooklyn's battle to even remain conscious ended and her eyes closed, her head lolling to one side as Alice's fists, over and over again, drove deep into her heroic rack until she could no longer feel their impact and she went out.
Winner: Alice Goodwin, Rd 4, KO, Breast Beating


After: Brooklyns distraught fans streamed from the arena many in tears as their girl lay completely unconscious tits up spread eagled in the sand. Decker’s broken body could only elicit a sad twitch as Goodwin planted her foot on her on her once proud rack. Goodwin posed for the cameras with a smile dripping with malice, dangling Brooklyn Deckers tattered iconic yellow bikini. Fans around the world and every combatant left in the tournament now knew that Alice Goodwin was a woman who kept her promises.








Alexandra Daddario vs. Stephanie McMahon

Boy, inflation's a bytch, ain't it? Stephanie McMahon - who used to be the Million Dollar Princess has either raised her price or has been the victim of a Bernie Madoff-esque inflationary boom, because now she's telling everyone to introduce  her as The Billion Dollar Princess. Sure, it's a sign of the times, but still…

McMahon, daughter of a wrestling scion and promoter father and a Republican politician mother is certainly no stranger to in-fighting- she was twice voted as most hated wrestler so many expect her to take it to the young actress making her beach fighting debut (far as we know) in this tournament. Several times WWF/E women's champion, McMahon boasts she's the only woman to have pinned The Rock in a sanctioned match (and she vehemently denies a rumor that says she's been pinned lots of times by male wrestlers.

Alexandra Daddario, who's from a family of lawyers, has no problem with in-fighting either. “We'd fight about anything around the dinner table” she says. Someone chose a topic and we'd be assigned a position to defend or to attack. I got pretty good. If you don't believe me, ask my agent about my last contract negotiation. Alex's going to need more than negotiation skills to get past McMahon, however. Stephanie's proved over the years she can hand out a licking with the best of them and there are few in the audience for this bout who don't think Stephanie McMahon's a solid favorite to wear the crown when the dust (sand) settles after the finale.
*
Rd 1 as expected, consists mainly of Princess Stephanie putting in a clinic for her fans, tossing and bashing the younger and less experienced Daddario around the ring. Alex, who won a first round bout against a badly over-matched and out of her depth teenager, Ariel Winter, was looking like Winter now that she was facing a wily old veteran in just her second beach bout. The sand seemed to cause Alex  problems as she never had her feet in the right position for her to counter any of McMahon's moves, holds or throws. It's almost comical how easily Stephanie was able to exert her will on the less experienced actress. Midway thru the round, Stephanie started to taunt Alexandra, telling the crowd she didn't believe Alex's announced measurements. Later, when she had Alex in a Full Nelson, Steph reached around, pulled down Daddario's top and groping Alex's breasts, loudly asked women sitting in the front row, “Do these sacks of shit look like D's to you?” They chorused, “NO!”at the top of their lungs! The depth of Alexandra's embarrassment was evident by her brilliant red blush as Stephanie shook her breasts and gave them another hard squeeze then pushed her away and dusting off her hands as if they needed to be cleansed from touching Alex's 'inferior' boobs. (Only later did we learn they were WWE employees planted by Stephanie for exactly that purpose!)
It became clear as the round wound down that Stephanie didn't want to pin or KO Daddario. She wanted to humiliate the young woman; force her to submit which would send a message to the other women that Stephanie was the one legitimate 'Queen' and all others would be forced to bow down to her before the tournament was over!
McMahon finished the round by pounding Daddario into the sand with a series of three huge body slams that left the young brunette writhing in the sand holding her back. During the break, the girls raking the sand to smooth it worked around her because she was too weary to get up and move to her stool.
* *
Rd 2 Even the short break between rounds was enough for Daddario's remarkable recuperative powers to restore her, if not fully at least enough that she was on her feet for the start of the second. Alexandra tried to keep away from Stephanie who wasn't spending a lot of energy chasing her, more like she was stalking; working patiently to cut off Alexandra's retreat until she had her cornered. Once she did, Steph went back to breaking Daddario down! Alexandra had, somewhat slowly, come to realize that McMahon wasn't going to take pity on her and pin her, she was going to hurt her and hurt her some more until Alexandra couldn't go on or could no longer take the pain. The stubborn young brunette made up her mind that if she were going to lose, she'd do it fighting to the last.
Stephanie tried to lure Alexandra into tying up with her, but Alexandra understood that would just be playing into McMahon's strength. A trained wrestler, Stephanie would surely be able to take her down if she allowed the fight to be decided on Stephanie's terms. So when McMahon closed with her, Alex raised her fists and threw punches, which shocked Stephanie. McMahon had trained in boxing, but not nearly as much as she had wrestling, and in recent years she'd spent a lot more time behind a desk, or in front of a camera, than in any ring. Her boxing skills were rusty while Daddario's were - if not yet world class, they were at the worst, at least equal to Stephanie's.
Getting used to the feel of the sand underfoot, Alexandra was growing more comfortable in the unfamiliar beach ring and she found that if she kept pumping her jab in Stephanie's face, she could hold her at bay while she backpedaled or circled away from McMahon's right hand - which Alex felt clear down to her core the first time McMahon unloaded it against her left side ribs! From that time forward, Alex made it a point to circle to her right, away from Stephanie's sledgehammer right, as much as she could! Just when Alexandra felt like she was getting into a rhythm, however, Stephanie managed to cut off the ring and trap her against the ropes where Daddario had no choice but to trade punches until she could slip away again, her ribs throbbing and her right breast, which had taken a hook flush, was already swelling in its cup. Just before the round ended, Stephanie again managed to walk down Alexandra who hurriedly clinched with the heavier woman and tried to tie up McMahon. Stephanie still got in a few hard body shots that left Alexandra gasping for air at the bell. All in all, a much better round for Daddario who nevertheless felt very uncomfortable awaiting the 3rd round.
* * *

* * *
Rd 3 Alexandra tried to move a lot more and fight less - she wanted to trade punches with a woman powerful as McMahon only when absolutely necessary - otherwise she'd try get away or clinch if she had no other option. Her plan worked fine for two minutes but Stephanie got wise to her and upped her energy to corner her and it didn't take long until Alexandra more and more was forced to, reluctantly, engage the heavier, stronger, and more experienced, McMahon. Stephanie grabs Alex's wrist or forearm after she throws a punch; she kicks or knees when at close quarters; at each opportunity, Stephanie threw an elbow or forearm smash into Alexandra's chest. After McMahon again tosses Daddario easily to the sand, Stephanie struts around chest out, full of herself, flexing her powerful biceps while Alexandra struggles back to her feet, her fists clenched at her thighs.
When Stephanie comes toward her again, Alexandra throws a handful of sand in Stephanie's eyes, blinding her...and as McMahon recoils, hands pawing futilely at her face and blinking furiously, Daddario goes on the attack and beats her back across the ring. For the next minute, while McMahon is blinking to clear her vision, Daddario is piling up points on the scorecard. The rest of the round, Daddario adjusted the best she could, answering Stephanie's elbows and forearms with uppercuts to McMahon's jutting juggs or an occasional elbow of her own whenever she could use it to get her back off the ropes!
Stephanie getting in several arm drag takedowns, a hip toss or two and one spectacular bulldog that had fans on their feet. But despite several takedowns, McMahon was never again able to get control of the fight. After each one, Alexandra popped to her feet and Stephanie hesitated to approach her, giving Daddario an opportunity to get in a flurry of punches followed by  a kick; a hard right that rocked Stephanie back on her heels; or an elbow or two to force an opening thru which she could escape and continue the fight on equal terms. The last minute Alexandra controlled the tempo and intensity of the exchanges and again forced Stephanie back across the ring. At the bell, she jogged away smiling leaving Stephanie McMahon's butt hung up in the ropes.
* * * *
Rd 4 began with McMahon, knowing she'd fallen behind, attacking again and for a minute or so she had Alexandra in trouble; but Stephanie could never land the big punch she needed to stop, or at least slow down, the younger Daddario. Midway, Alexandra had regained command of the ring as her quickness and stamina gave her a big edge over the 40ish McMahon who visibly slowed her pace as her breathing labored. Alexandra used 'hit & run' tactics, slipping in to buffet Stephanie with a combination, then jump back while McMahon was winding up. A disgusted 'expert' ringside grumbled,Dat McMahon kid fights like a wrestler. Lookit her, big windup and a long arm swing. She telegraphs everythin' jes' like a TV rassler. No surprise da actress ain't been hit, she see's 'em comin' a mile away!
The rest of round 4, Daddario looked more relaxed as Stephanie's offensive output fell until she was nearly stationary in the middle of the ring as Alexandra circled her pot-shotting her with short jabs, then backing off while running out the clock.
* * * * *
Rd 5 an anticlimax as McMahon pretty much gives up trying after chasing Daddario for the first minute and not laying a hand on her as the nimble lawyer's kid put on a show of her fitness by bouncing, dancing and running until Stephanie's tongue was hanging out and her sweat-glistening chest heaving rapidly. Alexandra spent the last two minutes dancing around Stephanie and cuffing her with humiliating slaps... at one point running circles around McMahon who didn't even bother to turn and watch her... which was probably why Alexandra stopped and gave Stephanie a hard kick in the ass that knocked her forward on all fours! Stephanie, her head hanging in shame, just shook her head and sat down in the sand panting and holding her blushing face in her hands as the referee came over and told her, ìGet up kid, you're embarrassing yourself and all the other gals too.î She struggled up and trudged toward her corner as the bell, mercifully, rang (a good ten seconds before the correct time, someone said) to end her humiliation.
McMahon's all bark and no bite, Alex announced to the crowd after the decision was made formal by the announcer... her effort and guts winning over much of the crowd with her comeback after losing Rd 1 to pretty much dominate McMahon the rest of the way; taking an easy decision in what must be one of the biggest upsets of this, or any other, celebrity beach tournament!
Winner: Alexandra Daddario, 4-1, Decision



Big thanks to InthisCorner

Scarlett Johansson vs Lindsay Lohan

The sun shone down on the ring for the second leg of the Beach Tournament. The two competitors already staring each other down from across the ring, measuring and gauging what they would have to do to put the other woman down.  Lindsay Lohan had gone through a gruelling first round fight against busty opponent Kat Dennings, finally forcing the latter to submit after the smaller woman savagely  destroyed her tits. A smile crossed Lohan's freckled face as she thought about Dennings' pleas and cries for her to stop. Watching her current foe's  mammaries, it was hard not to think Lohan had already thought of employing the same strategy. Scarlett outfitted herself in a jaw dropping red pushup bikini, causing her fans to cat call and cheer her even more feverishly. She had had a much easier match in her first round, dispatching Jennifer Love Hewitt with a  breast smother before the latter had known what hit her. Lohan would be no different she thought.

Due to the history and hatred between the 2 both women decided on a bets of 3 falls stipulation. Johansson was the odds on favorite due to her freshness from her previous match, her star appeal easily trumping Lohan's and people simply thought the freckled cat-fighter was a bitch. As the bell sounded for Rd 1, Lohan walked to the middle of the ring, her hands up in a classic “Test of strength” pose, inviting the Scarlett to do the same. “Come on, let's see what you got!” Lohan urged. Scarlett smiled and advanced, happy to meet the challenge, her hands raised. As the blonde got closer to her foe she felt a sudden burning in her lower abdomen. Scarlett's beautiful face grimaced as she felt the brunt of “Lilo's”  front kick tear into her taut muscles and silk like skin. “Ungh” she grunted before, Lilo grabbed a handful of the blonde's hair, preparing to whip her off her feet by those crimson tresses. Scarlett however was by no means defenseless as she quickly grabbed her foe's right wrist, slipping her own right hand around Lohan's slim waist, then lowering her height and bucking her hips into the younger woman's abs, executed an “O-Goshi” judo throw she had learnt in her hours of training for action roles.  Lohan landed on her side with a thud to the canvas only to see two naked mammaries approaching as Scarlett had used her momentum to fall after her foe. With a wet whap, the blonde began to smother Lilo, who protested through muffled cries before quickly hitting the canvas repeatedly in one of the quickest submission's the tourney had seen yet. Scarlett pushed off of her gasping foe, not taking her eyes off the cheating brunette. This was a race to three falls, and Johansson had already scored the first one.

Rd 2 began much differently to the other one as Lilo decided to rip off her own bikini and toss it over one of the ring ropes, in a sign of supposed frustration. The crowd was firmly behind Johansson now after her amazing counter to Lilo's foul play, so this reaction did not seem unexpected. The blonde sauntered to the center of the ring but Lohan made no attempt to do the same. Instead she raised a middle finger from her aching right hand before using it to beckon Johansson ever closer. “Bring that ass over here b***” she taunted. Incensed by this disrespect Scarlett barreled forward not realizing the bikini had disappeared from the ring ropes and into Lilo's grasp. Lohan deftly dodged away from her corner as Johansson hit the turn buckle with a surprised grunt before she felt the fabric of her foe's bikini slip around her neck. A kick to the lower back of the trapped blonde was followed by Lohan pulling back for all she was worth on that bikini, causing Johanson to gag and flail around for any sort of support but repeated kicks to the lower back, and thigh's coupled with the strangle hold Lilo had on her caused Scarlett to weakly call out her submission. “I give...I g-give!” she gurgled. Lohan kept the hold on a little longer pretending not to hear the submission, malice burning in her eyes, as the knuckles of her fingers turned pale from her hold. Finally she relented and let Scarlet slump over the corner post, gagging and sputtering for air, tears forming in her dazed eyes. This bitch was out for blood she thought.

Rd 3 saw Johansson once again fly across the ring but this time she made sure to keep some distance between her and Lilo. Letting jabs fly at her foe, the blonde's usual calm demeanor had diminished somewhat as she wanted to repay Lohan's underhanded tactics. Lohan tried to guard herself but several punches bit into her sides causing her to wince and swing wildly. Scarlet ducked the unskilled hook punch and launched one of her own that sapped Lohan's once stunning face to the side. The crowd cheered on the onslaught, though some had started to cheer for Lohan to fight back. Johansson swung again with a left hook this time, only to feel that stinging pain she had felt from earlier in her lower abdomen, only for it to then be mirrored by a similar feeling to her crotch causing the blonde's eyes to bulge and her mouth to let out a silent protest. Lilo recalled her left leg from her crotch kick, proceeding to launch a sloppy but still effective front kick to the center of Johansson's sweating and heaving tits, sending the latter tumbling backwards. The blonde landed with a wet thud to the sand, her eyes looking up to the sky feeling the sun biting down on her bruised abdomen and tits. Suddenly she noticed a shadow begin to block the sun as Lohan went literally horizontal in a body splash, landing as hard as she could on to the stunned blonde. “Augh!” came the pained cry as Lohan's heaving tits connected with her foe's face, gravity proving to be no friend of Johansson's. Lilo slipped her arms behind Scarlett's neck and pulled her head forward into the tit smother. “This is how you beat that cow Hewitt right?” Lohan mocked “Well how do you like it bitch?”. Scarlett could not stand the feel or odor of the sweat soaked tits of her foe and began to struggle weakly against the hold. Lohan laughed and kept the smother on as she heard some fans cheering and jeering her actions, fueling her even more to prolong the punishment. Ding! Ding! The bell rung signaling the end of the round. Lohan sucked her teeth  and relented, letting Johansson's head smack the sand as she climbed off the once again gasping blonde.

Rd 4 saw a completely unhinged Johansson who though still winded used her skill to corner Lilo and begin to work her over with kicks and punches to anywhere she could find an opening on the brunette. “You cheating little twat!” Johansson screamed! Lilo attempted to swing a kick into her foe's crotch but before her attack could reach Scarlett rushed forward, choking the move. Grasping Lohan behind the neck in a Muay-Thai clinch, Johansson let knees fly into Lohan's stunned form. Each attack exploded with well placed precision as the blonde had recovered her poise. “Ungh! Ungh!”, Came the pained grunts as the knees continued to bury themselves in Lohan's body, as Johansson wanted to hear the telltale crunch of rib breaking. Suddenly she pulled Lilo's head even further down into an oncoming knee, which promptly smacked her head upward. A trail of sweat and spittle flew into the air  as Lohan's body went limp and she fell back onto her rear. Still conscious she kicked out wildly trying to catch or hit Scarlett if she attempted to advance but the Ding! Ding! of the bell called a stop to that as the blonde backed off, hands raised in a  premature victory pose. This round had clearly been hers, as she panted. Lohan spat angrily as she once again rose waiting for the next round.

Rd 5 and both women practically ran at one another, hands and legs tearing at their hair and bodies. Nails bit into flesh, threatening to open crimson streams on their skin. Both women were bruised and battered, Lohan showing the worse of it due to the many knees and punches she had failed to block in earlier rounds. That however did not stop her from swinging her hands in brutal uppercuts and jabs as she bashed attacks into Johansson's awaiting tits and abs while the blonde did the same to the brunette. There was no caution or reservations now; these women simply wanted to pummel the other woman into unconsciousness. “Gonna...ungh...knock your ass out!” Lilo spat. “Kiss my ass has-been!” Scarlett retorted! The fans were roaring now, a clear split between them for the two women. The match had started with unanimous support for the blonde but now Lohan had gotten a raucous following. “Whip her ass Scarlett!” “Kick her in the crotch again Lohan!” they screamed! Both women battled in the middle of the ring unwilling to give in to the other. This continued for what seemed like an eternity as sweat flew off of their slicked bodies from constant impacts of punches and kicks. Suddenly as if they had silently agreed both women pulled back their right arms and prepared to let uppercuts fly only to have the metallic sound of the bell freeze Scarlett's punch in mid flight. Lilo however kept her punch going and staggered the blonde with a chin rocking uppercut. Johansson staggered back stunned by the lack of sportsmanship her foe exhibited. As the final round ended with neither woman submitting or being koed for a decisive final point, the tourney officials decided on a sudden death round! One woman would be left at the others mercy.

Sudden death started and Lohan barreled into her still dazed foe. Johansson had not recovered from the attack at the end of the Rd5 and her muscles ached worst than she had ever felt. The blonde failed to raise her hands to defend herself as Lohan let her attacks fly into any part of Johansson her eyes could see. Breasts, head, abs, crotch, legs; everything was battered as she took control of the exhausted Johansson. The latter's fans begged for her to do something but it was clear she had nothing left as Lohan battered her head to and fro with hate filled punches. Suddenly the punches stopped but Johansson was still very conscious. She soon regretted that as she felt her bikini bottoms yanked off her in one quick motion before Lohan returned to eye level with her and shoved the fabric into the blonde's mouth. “Ummmph!” she protested futilely before a right hook slammed into her face. Lohan felt reinvigorated as she heard her foe's supporters all but disappear as they realized she was in control. This was only amplified by the tears she saw streaking down  Scarlett's cheeks from her swollen eyes as the blonde slapped lohan's shoulder pathetically to show her submission. Lohan knocked it away in disgust and continued battering the beaten blonde's face for all she was worth. “I think you called me a has-been...and oh, did you say kiss my ass?” Lohan mocked as she landed an uppercut that snapped Scarlett's head back.

The sobbing blonde sank to the mat and landed on her tortured face and tits before savage kick flipped her over. Lohan took her place over he defeated but still conscious foe. “I think it is time for you to kiss...” Lohan roughly slammed her ass down as hard as she could onto Scarlett's face “...My ass!”. The freckled victrix grinded her ass on top of the beaten blonde's face, Scarlett putting up no challenge as she sank into unconsciousness finally. Ding! Ding! Lohan smirked as she  realized she had advanced to the next bracket of the tourney, raising her hands victoriously while still seated on the koed and thoroughly embarrassed Johansson.





Big thanks to NicoleS and The Amatuer


Jennifer Lawrence VS Charlotte McKinney

Jennifer hated being outdone. As the well-endowed (in her own right) blonde paraded around the arena in nothing but a blue two-piece that hugged her assets snugly, her face turned a shade of crimson as she got the first look at her completion. McKinney appeared wearing nothing but a black bikini that was at least two sizes too small to contain, what even Lawrence had to admit, her absolutely massive bust! Next to McKinney, Lawrence felt almost inadequate as the two ladies thrust out their breasts towards each other. Their globes were nearly touching as both competitors refused to break eye contact until the match began.

R1: Using her anger as fuel, Lawrence unexpected dominated the first round against her buxom opponent. A veteran to the ring, Jen saw each of McKinney’s telegraphed attacks coming from miles away. Charlotte took a great deal of punishment as she fought to give any kind of offense to Lawrence’s unrelenting blows to the sides, head and especially her big jugs. She was eventually forced to the sand as Lawrence loomed over her, ready to drive her right foot straight down onto McKinney’s heaving tits. The bell only just saved her from this fate as Lawrence took round one.

RD2
The two warring beauties collided rolled back and forth on the sand for a few seconds, cursing at each other as they slapped and punched wildly. They traded the top position several times, before  Jennifer was able to secure it, rolling the busty blonde onto her back and straddling her. Groaning, Charlotte squirmed and twisted ineffectually for several moments beneath her foe before reaching up and raking her claws across Jennifer's eyes. She squealed and retreated, covering her face with her hands which let Charlotte buck her off . Instantly,  Jennifer was back to her knees, looking to regain her seat atop Charlotte who was still flat on her back.

But as  Jennifer leaned forward, Charlotte raised her legs and clamped them around Jennifer's head. She gave a startled shriek and tried to pull back but too late; she was caught. A powerful twist of Charlotte's hips brought  Jennifer down to the mat, the actress struggling in vain to free herself. Nimbly, Charlotte shifted position, her sculpted, glistening legs now around  Jennifer's neck, strangling the taller woman. Face darkening, eyes bulging out,  Jennifer gurgled and squirmed, her hands pawing ineffectually at the blonde babe's steely thighs.

Charlotte snarled and tightened her deadly grip even more, cutting off  Jennifer's air-supply completely. Panicking, Lawrence thrashed around wildly, her lithe, sweat-soaked body bending and contorting back and forth in search of a way out, long, strong legs kicking furiously and to no avail. Desperate for air, she reached out blindly, grabbing at Charlotte's supple breasts and ass, squeezing, clawing. No good. The busty beauty had what she wanted and was not letting go. The two near-naked sexy bodies writhed around on the sand for several more seconds, the slightly smaller one in control, clinging tight to the bigger one, wringing the life out of it, sapping its strength by the moment.
Suddenly,  Jennifer's clawing hands started slapping at Charlotte's thighs, then frantically waved in the air; clearly signaling her submission when she was unable to break free or withstand the torture any longer.

WINNER Charlotte Mckinney Round 2 Submission

Even before the ref stepped in, Charlotte relinquished her grip and sprang up to her feet, with a joyous squeal. Grinning big, arms raised high in victory, she strutted around the ring, soaking up the crowd's cheers, reveling in her hard-earned moment of triumph. But even in celebratory mood, the blonde bombshell was all-business as she now turned her attention back to her vanquished rival. This had been the first meeting between the two and Charlotte intended to make it a really memorable one for both of them. She had imposed her will on her rival, but it had been a really close call and she wanted to make sure there would be no future doubts from  Jennifer.

 Jennifer was still down when Charlotte walked over to her. Her body battered and spent, her mind numb with the shock of sudden defeat, the supine blonde made no move to prevent Charlotte straddling her and pinning her arms above her head. She did buck a couple of times after that, but it was a feeble, half-hearted effort that served no purpose other than emphasize Charlotte's dominance. Not saying a word, Charlotte simply sat atop her fallen foe, gazing down into  Jennifer's eyes, sneering, looking smug, oozing confidence and power. She leaned forward, shoving her chest into  Jennifer's face,

Once she was satisfied  Jennifer had been completely annihilated Charlotte added the finishing touch - slamming her tits on  Jennifer's face and wrapping her arms tight around the blonde's head. Deprived of air,  Jennifer thrashed and kicked weakly for a while, but she was too weakened to break Charlotte’s Smother Hold and soon succumbed; her lush body limp as she slipped into unconsciousness.

Releasing her prey, Charlotte rose from the sand while looking searchingly around. There were quite a few familiar faces in the crowd, but she quickly found the one she wanted. Holding the blonde's gaze steadily, she stepped up to Jennifer and planted a foot between the blonde's breasts, raising her arms.

In the front row, Alice Goodwin gnashed her teeth in helpless rage, leaping out of her seat, slamming both palms against the wall, screaming "Bitch!" as she tried to glare a hole through Charlotte's head.

Mckinney knew she had Lindsay Lohan in RD3, but after all the attention Alice Goodwin had received she couldn't help but mess with the “bad” bitch

Smirking, Charlotte walked up to where Alice was, the two bitter enemies standing just fractions on an inch from each other, separated only by the a thin plastic barrier, both pairs of eyes blazing. They stared at one another for several seconds,  Alice was smiling smugly, the dark haired beauty mouthed the words: "You're mine..." then after a pause, "...soon."
"Bring it, bitch!" Charlotte mouthed back silently, her eyes hard.

In time Mckinney would put the raven haired bitch in her place

But first, Charlotte had a tournament to win...





RD 2 Is in the books... thanks to all those contributing to the story!

And thanks to all those commenting every bit of feedback helps and is MUCH appreciated!


The Round 3 Bracket is Set !

[C@tfightlover]

Here is my own ScarJo LiLoh story:

Britney Spears-Lindsay Lohan "Family Feud" by Michael
Has anyone heard the rumors of a Lohan-Spears Family Feud catfight involving Britney and Lindsey? Supposedly, it was fueled by their mothers who were trying to get a certain famous agent to represent their daughters. According to the story, both Lynn Spears and Dina Lohan were trying to get their daughter a guest appearance on the Disney hit “Hannah Montana” but that the executive producers nixed the idea. Both were convinced a certain famous Hollywood agent could make the deal which could boost their daughters’ declining career. They knew their younger daughters may also benefit from the cross promotion of their new TV series and albums.
I’ve read online that there was a confrontation between Britney and Lindsey at a Playboy Mansion Halloween party, but that Hef’s 'Girls Next Door' kept them from a full fight. The mothers weren’t present, or the sisters but it was suspected that Dina and Lynn had stoked the fires of the feud and confrontation. Lindsey’s gal pal Sam Ronson was a witness, but wasn’t directly involved. Rose McGowan was there with Robert Rodriguez, and Scarlett Johansson was there with her husband. Jessica Alba arrived in a blue bikini, showing off her newly toned booty - but she just watched from the crowd; clearly cheering on Britney.

Britney was dressed as the schooldirl vixen from her first video, although her breasts were a size or two larger. Lindsey was in a slutty beach bimbo bikini bottom with a wife beater top, with Sam dressed as a butch bodyguard. Of course, someone with a cell phone fed the confrontation to one - or both - mothers!
* * * * * *
Jessica Biel rubbed her bare soles across the face of the kneeling Cameron Diaz who was in the submissive “bottoms up” pose Biel’s gal-pal Scarlett Johansson had put her in shortly after arriving at the Playboy Mansion Halloween party. “See, my Mom used to be a model, and she taught me how to dominate rivals so completely they’ll never even THINK of a rematch,” Johansson boasted to Biel, who was sitting with Diaz’ former lover Justin Timberlake. Diaz’ face was beet red after the embarassment of having to lick and kiss the feet of Timberlake’s new gal and also from paying homage to Johansson’s "lap of luxury" and her “treasure chest.”

“She certainly does know her place, doesn’t the baby?” Biel taunted, tweaking Diaz' nose with her toes.

A murmer passed quickly across the room as Lindsey Lohan entered on the arm of her partner, DJ Samantha “Sam” Ronson. Lohan stared directly at Johansson and her lips set in a frown, lower lip slightly jutting out. Ronson held her by the arm to make sure her “friend” didn’t rush over to confront Johansson, who had hooked up with Lohan’s first serious boyfriend Jared Leto.

Leto had later dumped Diaz for another romp with the buxom blonde, and Lohan had consoled Diaz in her heartbreak, offering to set her up with one of Ronson’s lesbian mentors. Diaz was reluctant at first, but soon became the devoted “friend” of a lesbian talk show host.

Lindsey was dressed in her signature beach bimbo bikini, a Girls Gone Wild Cancun t-shirt and Raybans. She was at the party to schmooze Mr. *******, a powerful agent who she believed could land her a guest spot on Disney Channel’s megahit “Hannah Montana”, potentially reviving her singing and acting career which had suffered since her manic partying and brief incarceration.

Many at the party presumed that the jailhouse tats Lohan sported were part of the costume, but they were actually the property markings of a certain Latina gangster Chica who had won her from the blonde porn star who tried to protect Lohan from the jails rougher elements, to no avail.

The crying heart tat on Lohan’s right cheek and the lipstick kiss on her left made Lohan blush deep crimson each time she put on her panties, thong or boy shorts. She fought back tears at the reminder of her long days and nights serving her Latina Mistress.

Lohan gave Johannson and Biel a dirty look and headed over to Mr. *******, who was sitting next to the host, Mr. Hefner. Hefner had offered Lohan $1 million for a nude pictorial, which she declined. She was still self conscious of her tattoos and the butch haircut she had been forced to endure in jail. Having her head shaved by her cellmate was bad enough, and now that her hair was almost grown back she was starting to feel her sassy self.

But as she approached Mr. *******’s table, she felt a tap on her shoulder and felt chills when she heard a familiar voice say “Not so fast, girly girl.”

Lohan spun and was bitch-slapped twice rapidly by Britney Spears, who was dressed to thrill in her trademark Catholic Schoolgirl Vixen outfit from her first video,”Hit Me Baby (One More Time)”

“Well if it isn’t old Firecrotch”, Spears teased. Lohan teared up at the use of her jailhouse "bitch name" - one a Latina gangstress had given her. Spears smiled, happy that the money spent on her jailhouse snitch had paid off handsomely. Lohan was sniveling like a girl bullied after Sunday School.
* * * * * *
Angela D’Angelo was interviewed by AVN recently and spoke about how she coached her daughter Ice La Fox on how to break a little Caucasian fire crotch like Lindsey. Angela had owned a petite redheaded wife who was thrown in her jail cell. She knew how scared and frightened they were, the little redheads. She kept seeing her “wife” after they both got out. And she was much younger, but tougher.

Angela’s voice froze Lindsey, it was so much like her daughters. The crotch of her bikini was suddenly drenched and she found herself crying silent tears. Scarlett smiled as Katie Perry knelt at her side, gazing up rapturously. “She kissed a girl and liked it, too, Miss Scarlett.” Katie cooed.

Sam stepped away as Angela stepped forward and grabbed Lohan by her hair, yanking her backwards. Lohan stumbled and fell out of her sandals. Angela slapped the pricey Raybans off Lohan’s face.

“That’s one dumb bitch,” Katie said pinching and pulling Diaz’ nipples casually, almost without thinking of what she was doing. “What’s the matter, Princess; these mosquito bites itch? Hmmmmmmmmm?”

A boombox brought by Britney began the opening to “Hit Me Baby” and Spears began dancing toward the struggling Lohan.

At home Lynn Spears and Jamie Lynn cheered Britney’s entrance while across town at the Lohan household, Dina and Ali taped a live PPV and hugged each other; quietly sobbing much as Linds was. “Looks like mascara runs in your family, baby.”
* * * * * *
Scarlett leaned over and whispered to Biel, “Here’s the thing about a fire crotch like Lindsey; you have to show her you’re a woman and she’s just a freckle-face, little, weakling. See, deep inside she’s still a flat-chested, skinny, runt who’s embarrassed to get changed in the locker room in front of the other girls. Well, young women, let’s see..who has the more womanly figure?” She crossed her arms under her voluptuous cleavage, smiling. “In her heart, Lindsey just never did outgrew the Itty Bitty Titty Committee; she keeps losing boyfriends to me and...” she glanced down proudly. "...my charms; my feminine wiles.”

Angela dragged Lindsey across the room by her hair and served her up to the waiting Spears. Two slaps brought a bright red glow to Lohan’s cheeks. Spears patted Lohan’s cheek, then moved down her chest, tracing a finger over her noticeably pierced nipples. Angela leaned over Lohan’s shoulder as she held her in a Full Nelson, smiled at Spears and licked the inside of Lohan’s left ear, then bit her earlobe causing her to moan.

“What’s this? A present from your boyfriend Sammy” Spears toyed with Lohan’s belly piercing, jerking it hard enough to send a jolt of pain through Lohan’s midsection.

Lohan’s Latina mistress bent down, picked up the Rayban sunglasses that had been slapped from Lohan’s face and put them on, smiling. “Muchos gracias, chica.”

“Awwww, poor baby lost her sunglasses? I know what we can do! Give her some new ones. Would you like a raccoon mask, princess?” She used a handful of Lohan’s hair to male her nod weakly. Lohan’s tears made an almost audible sound as they dripped from her cheek onto Spears stripper heels.

In a blur, Lohan staggered backward, her hands flying to her eyes. Spears bobbed and weaved, snapping two quick jabs to Lohan’s eyes. She darted back in, slapped Lohan’s guard away and landed two more lethal jabs that had the starlet seeing stars as she turned away - only to be recaptured by the Latina ex-con.

Angela and Britney marched Lohan over to Mr. *******’s table and demanded, "Tell him about your great idea for 'Hannah Montana' during sweeps week, Lindsey!”

“Go to hell, you bloody cxnt!” Lohan spat. The room fell silent.

Scarlett smiled and stood up slowly. “Jessica, would you please put Carmen’s nose and tongue to good use for a minute...I've got to take out the trash!”

“Here kitty, kitty,” Biel taunted the submissive Diaz, pointing to her lap. “You need to show me what a cunning linguist you are. Scarlett tells me you’re fluent in French - and Greek!”

Scarlett coolly straightened her gown, adjusted her “girls” and moved to Mr. *******’s table. “What a mouth. You kiss your Daddy with that mouth?” She grabbed Lohan’s tongue with her thumb and index finger. “Oh, wait, I think I see what the problem is...”

An ungodly shriek filled the room as Lohan's tongue stud was pulled up and down rapidly. “Ohgodogodogodogod...leeeh eeee go ewww itch.”

“I seem to remember you writing on a bathroom wall that I was a...what was it...a bloody cxnt? Well, my dear, I think you meant to end that sentence with...”

“UNNNNHHH…” Scarlett’s knee shot up; connecting solidly with Lohan’s crotch.

“...a period! Did THAT feel like a period to you? I did to me. Well… dearie?”

Lohan slowly slid to the floor; hands cupping her aching pubic mound. Johansson and Britney high-fived.

Spears explained that she and Lohan were going to guest star on “Hannah Montana” as rival singers being produced by Billy Ray’s character. Spears would get twice her usual appearance fee - since Lohan was agreeing to donate all of her salary and residuals to “Britney’s House” - a foundation to assist singers and actresses to dominate their rivals sexually, publicly and emotionally!
* * * * * *
In a related development: Reports out of Hollywood state that Catherine Zeta Jones and Catherine Bell (among others) have been quite generous with contributions to what their publicists are referring to in releases as, “a worthwhile endeavor”, “a cause long overdue for support.”

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt issued a joint press release saying that Ms. Jolie, “…supports the efforts of women in the third world to achieve the same level of dominance over their rivals as their counterparts in developed countries enjoy. I particularly want to point out that today, worldwide, blondes are a distinct minority yet they still hold most of the ‘power positions’ in the entertainment industry. I hope my small contribution will help to redress that imbalance.”

Charlize Theron and Sunny McKay have been uncharacteristically silent; neither returning our calls while their publicists have issued a terse, “No comment” and refused our requests for interviews.