No introduction necessary for Ms. Upton. Kate rampaged over Allison Brie ending her day with a 2nd round Breast Smother. She destroyed over matched Blake Lively with a pin (which coulda been ruled a KO - or even referee stops bout on humanitarian grounds). A few die-hard doubters felt Matsugane had what it takes to handle Upton'sup front' but Yoko fell faster and harder than Brie or Lively, getting jugged out midway thru the 1st Round!!
Kylie Jenner, probably DOES need an introduction...at least to those not paying attention for the last 3-4 weeks She wasn't highly considered when the tournament began but she closed out Beyonce with a Butt Smother; easily disposed of Lindsey Pelas - a small fighter more famous for the size of her bosom than the size of her heart. In the third round, Abigail Ratchford looked like she'd be a real obstacle to Jenner's advancement, but thanks to timely interventions by Kylie's half-sister Kim Kardashian - who lost to Ratchford in the previous bout - Kylie (and Kim) won using the little seen and infrequently employed double team screaming submission to advance Kylie toThe Final Four.
Controversy about Kardashian interference aside (lending a hand seems to be a Kardashian family trait), Jenner has shown flashes of ability, so as long as her siblings lurk, her chances of another win can't be easily dismissed!
Kylie appears in a tight, black nylon, one-piece to make it difficult for Upton to get a grip. She's also (attention control room...get a close-up) wearing black leather fingerless MMA gloves (which may be illegal?) Kim's in a heavyweight black nylon sports bra and matching bike shorts.
Referee for this bout is an established veteran, Carmen Electra, who barely glances at Kylie's attire before shrugging off protests rom irate Upton fans in the crowd already sensing trouble!
Kate is announced and bounces (seriously! She's literally bouncing) in a small white bikini top giving new meaning to breathing room. Her matching bottom is so tight, there's a small roll over flesh over her waistband. In her corner, Upton checks out Kim and Kylie who have their heads together conspiring, then dismisses them both with a toss of her golden mane.
At the obligatory prefight stare-down, Kylie - all 'big girl' - up on tip-toe to challenge Upton going nose-to-nipple with the taller blond (a possible preview of the last sight Jenner will see tonight!) While her sister Kylie gets Kate's attention, Kim inches up behind Upton, pressing up against her belly-to-butt and plucking (playfully?) at the hooks on the back of Upton's top - one she has NOT lost even once in the tournament so far and probably would rather not in this fight as well!
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Rd 1: Bell. Despite her flippant dismissal of the Jenner threat, Upton starts cautiously, circling away from the corner where Kim is lurking. Kate raises her hands, offering a 'Test of Strength'; an offer Jenner, wisely, declines. Kylie counters with a snap Front Kick to Upton's left thigh that brings a yelp of pain from the big blond and Upton takes a step backward. Kylie grinning moving forward carefully, unwilling to get within reach of the bigger, rangier, blond powerhouse. A second Kylie kick is short, and Upton again retreats, rubbing her thigh as her butt touches the ropes.
Upton fakes left, then goes right...loping in wide circle, forcing Kylie to turn with her. Kate stops and again taunts Kylie by offering a test of strength, again, Jenner declines her offer. As Upton drops her arms and wipes her hands on the seat of her bikini, Kim reaches thru the ropes to grab the back of Upton's bikini to pull her to the ropes. Kate turns and elbows Kim in the chest, knocking the top heavy brunette to the sand on her big butt. Kate leans over the ropes and wags a finger at Kim, cautioning her,Keep your hands to yourself.
But with Upton's attention momentarily diverted, Kylie steps in and drives her foot up between Upton's legs! Kate's hips shunt upward, as she closes her legs, trapping Kylie's foot between her thighs! Kate instinctively grabs the top rope to steady herself, then reaches down, grabs Kylie's trapped ankle and sits back as she pulls up on the leg! Jenner is forced back onto her butt to avoid having her knee dislocated and ends up with Upton's full weight bearing down on her midsection as Upton rears back to increase pressure on Kylie's hip joint!
Kylie slams her elbow in Upton's back as Kate wrenches Jenner's leg around. It's becoming clear 'Team Kardashian' hadn't considered Upton's bulk in devising a strategy because she's simply too big and too strong - even for the two of them!
Kylie tries to bring her free leg back to her chest while attempting to escape. She slams another elbow smash to the back of Kate's neck, then a short, hard, left hook to her left breast brings a squeak of pain from the big blonde, who apparently doesn't enjoy having her hooters hammered!
Kylie finally discovers the key to her escape when she grabs Kate's top with both hands and starts to stretch it backward. Upton quickly releases Kylie's foot so she can use both hands to hold onto her top. She sits up, ripping the top out of Kylie's hands before she can unfasten it. As she steps away from Kylie, Kate angrily kicks sand back in her face, then snarls,Nobody gets this top, bitch!
Kate accentuates her declaration with a kick to Kylie's left thigh, then hair hauls the whimpering little brunette to her feet with just one hand, at the same time she turns her hips and buries her other fist deep in Kylie's belly! Her body jackknifes forward, leaving a clump of dark hair behind in Upton's fist!
Kim, finally back on her feet at the ring ropes, cries out,Kyl... when her half-sister is bludgeoned to her knees by an Upton forearm to the back of her neck. Kim scrambles thru the ropes and attacks Upton from behind, but Kate whirls around, grabs the stocky brunette in a side headlock, then runs her across the sand and throws her headfirst through the ropes out onto the beach on the far side of the ring.
“And don't come back” Upton yells after her before turning back to Kylie again.
Kylie is back up, suddenly a lot more respectful of Upton as she quickly backs up, sprinting in a wide circle around Kate who stalks her at a leisurely pace, knowing there's no place Jenner can hide, and only so long she can run. Upton's not the world's most nimble, or quick-footed, fighter, but with her size and strength, she doesn't have to be. In two strides, she can cut the ring in half, so Kylie's options quickly are reduced from two tactics (fight or flight) to only one (fight or quit).
To her credit, Jenner chooses to give Upton as much as she can for as long as she can - until Kim can get back in the fight with her, or with reinforcements, because Kylie realizes she's in over her head going one-on-one with Kate Upton who is proving a whole different animal than Abigail Ratchford!
Kylie remembers she hurt Kate with kicks earlier, and tries one again. This time a Round Kick to the side of Kate's knee, which briefly buckles. Heartened, Kylie tries another Round Kick to the other knee, but this one is just a little low and instead of Kate's knee, Kylie's foot hits Upton's shin. Kylie hops away on one foot, her striking foot numbed by the impact. Upton, shaking her leg, doesn't pursue and Jenner figures she was lucky to escape at all as she hobbles back across the ring while Upton ponders her next move.
Kylie, finally recognizing she has at least one advantage over Upton, her quickness, decides to use it and begins a series of hit and run attacks, basically circling quickly to get a better angle on Upton, then darting in to land a blow, or two, before Kate has completed turning around, and then leap back (hopefully) before Upton can land a punch or kick of her own. That tactic works the first three times Kylie tries it, but she goes to the well once too often and the fourth time she rushes in, Kate clotheslines her with a forearm!
Kylie's feet fly up in the air as she somersaults backward, crashing down on the back of her head and shoulders to the (harder than it looks) sand ring! Kate chuckles as she throws a leg over Kylie's waist and drops her big butt on the smaller brunette, driving all the air out of her lungs. Kylie looks up and sees Kate leering down at her with a smug expression that seems to say,I got you now little girlie.
As Kate leans down to apply her finishing breast smother, Kim Kardashian suddenly reappears, charging across the ring and leaping (feet first) to Drop Kick Upton in the back. Kate is sent face first to the sand, her tummy resting on Kylie's face.
“HEY! THAT'S NOT RIGHT!”Brooklyn Decker screamed as she came running from her seat in the audience and stood with clenched fists, looking like a woman who wanted to hit someone.
The referee leaned over the ropes and pointed to Decker's empty chair,Get back in your seat Missy. There'll be no interference from the peanut gallery.... she paused dramatically as she looked over her shoulder at the Kardashian's who were all on their feet heading for Decker.
For all Kylie Jenner's writhing and wriggling, she couldn't get out from under Kate's bulk until Upton pushed up, then rose to face Kim who was backing away, looking over her shoulder for an escape route to rejoin the other Kardashians.
Kate's pursuit of Kim was interrupted as the referee stepped between them to warn Kim for interference but in truth, was more interested in saving her big ass than enforcing the rules. Kim takes advantage of the time to scramble out of the ring, then turns around to taunt Upton, trying to get her to chase her and buy time for Kylie to catch her breath. But Kate doesn't bite and goes back to Kylie who's up, but unsteady, leaning on the ropes.
Before Kate can take advantage of Kylie's dazed condition, the bell rings to end the first round. Judging from the audience's reaction, it was a good one for Kate Upton.
Between rounds, Kim and Kylie huddled with mother Kris Jenner, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner. Their council of war was called by Kris to restrategize and come up with a new plan for handling Upton - something none of them felt willing to try to do on a one-on-one basis, at least not in public. They were a proud family, and being publicly humiliated wasn't a thing they sought.
As the Kardashians huddled, Brooklyn Decker returned and began to shout taunts at them, trying to disrupt their planning. After several taunts, one of them obscene, one of the Kardashians had had enough and stepped out of the circle to confront Decker.
Whaddya think you're doin' blondie? Khloe asked roughly.
Yeah! little Kourtney echoed, stepping up beside her much taller sibling. Both sisters felt left out of the fun Kim and Kylie were having and hoped to see a little action between rounds.
Go back to your mommy and leave Decker alone, an Aussie accented voice said. The Kardashian's turned around and saw Hayley Atwell, Sofia Vergara, and Alexandra lined up shoulder to shoulder in their rear.
Kim and Kylie exchanged a look, then Kim said to her sisters,We don't need to get into this here. Kylie's still got a fight to win. Kim walked over to Atwell and stabbed her in the chest with her index finger.You and your friends want to settle this like ladies, come by our beach bungalow tonight. We can go out to the beach and roll around in the sand until sun-up. What say?
Atwell glanced at her backup, they all grinned and nodded.Then we'll be heading back to our seats. See ya tonight. Around ten? Atwell asked,After the next fight?
Make it midnight, Kim said.Kylie's victory party should be winding down by then. Oh, and wear your bikinis....wouldn't want to ruin your best K-mart gowns! The Kardashian Klan all laughed as they turned back to Kris to tell her they'd invited 'friends' to Kylie's victory party.
Hayley and Decker went over to Kate's corner where Decker offered to be her second for the rest of the fight.Thanks, Kate said.But I don't need anyone. There's nobody in the tournament who worries me. But if you girls want some help at the party tonight....
Hayley laughed.I doubt we'll need any...besides, after you beat Jenner, you'll have a tough bout in the final. I'm afraid we'd be distracted trying to protect you from injury.
You don't have to worry about me, Kate said.But watch your backs tonight, I don't trust that Kim as far as I can throw her...and fat as her ass is, it wouldn't be very far!
* * *
Rd 2 started as everyone expected, with Kylie racing across the ring, churning up the sand, and throwing herself at Kate who was still getting out of her corner after pausing to give parting hugs to Decker & Atwell who each gave her big butt an encouraging pat. Kylie was lucky that her shoulder slammed into Kate's chest just as Upton was between strides and the impact sent Upton tumbling, ass over teakettle, right back into her own corner!
Kate, blushing sheepishly at being taken by such a brazen, and risky, move, was nevertheless sport enough to give Jenner a curt nod of appreciation as, holding onto the ropes, she pulled herself to her feet, then readjusted her top as she backed away from Kylie who began stalking her, Jenner's eyes flitted left and right, always checking to see where Kim was, trying to maneuver Kate into stepping close enough that Kardashian could reach out to grab Upton again. But Kate was wise up to their tricks and as she backed toward Kim, pretending not to know she was there, she suddenly turned and threw a punch straight between Kim's eyes!
Kardashian started to duck and but Kate's fist smashed into her forehead with enough juice to still put the short, busty, Kardashian witch on her ass. Even being nearly a foot shorter than Kate, especially crouching to pounce, Kim still couldn't avoid the blow entirely. But at least part of the Kardashian plan worked, as Kylie had Kate's back to her and leapt on her back, her legs wrapping around Upton's waist as she got her arms around Upton's neck and began to choke her!
Gotcha bitch! Kylie crowed happily in Upton's ear as she tightened the hold, turning it into an attempted sleeper. Upton staggered forward, her huge breasts bulging over the top rope, as Kim looked up in awe, her mouth gaping wide at the sight, then she shook herself from her daze and scrambled to her feet to lend Kylie ahand.
But Kate kept her wits about her and pushed off the ropes, staggering backward several steps, then throwing herself down on her back. Of course, Kylie was straddling Kate's back so she only had a second to mutter,shit before Kate's entire weight landed on her chest and stomach! Kate's hair was ruffled by the explosion of air from Kylie's mouth as she got pancaked beneath the blonde!
Kylie's arms and legs went limp and fell to the sand, leaving Upton free to get up, turn around and STOMP on Jenner's belly to add further to her discomfort. But now Kim was up and returning to the ring, but Kate was ready for her and as Kim raced toward her, Upton took a jab step to the side, reached out and caught Kardashian by the neck and lifted her in the air with one hand.
URK... Kim gurgled as her feet thrashed in mid-air.
Then Upton Choke Slammed Kim Kardashian on her back into the sand beside her half-sister. Kim and Kylie both lay still except for Kylie's left foot which slid back and forth, and Kim's hands which fluttered aimlessly in front of her throat.
Kate grabbed Kim's feet and dragged her over next to Kylie, than after arranging them as she wanted, she stepped back, ran forward and leaped in the air with her arms and legs spread-eagled. She soared and then came crashing down on top of the two brunettes, with a huge SPLAAAAT!
Upton looked up at the rest of the Kardashian Klan standing gob-smacked at ringside as she lowered her huge, 'heavyweight' hooters onto the two women's blank and uncomprehending faces and began her just now invented Two-fer Tit Smother which didn't take long to snuff out the two nefarious siblings.
The referee slapped Kate on the back and told her,Enough. And when Kate rose to pose over the two brunettes with her legs spread wide like a Colossus of Rhodes there were few in the crowd who didn't think they'd seen a 'once in a lifetime' event! How often does even one Kardashian lose - at anything - to anyone - especially in public. It's just not something the Kardashian's do!!
After the obligatory announcement:Your winner, Kate Upton, Rd 2, KO by a Double Breast Smother Kate pushed down the top rope and stepped OVER it, further showing off her incredible height advantage over her opponents whose heads barely reached the ropes...when they were upright.
As Kate left the ring for her dressing tent, she passed Alice Goodwin and Charlotte McKinney who were just going in to change for their match which would begin in a half hour. Kate stopped and wished Charlotte luck.
McKinney's welcomed the wishes and congratulated Kate on advancing to the finals. Charlotte and Kate were rivals but bot respected each other. McKinney truly felt that if she were to be crowned queen of the beach it was only right that it be done by Kate Upton.
Alice Goodwin, on the other hand, couldn't stop smirking as she mentally cataloged all the things she'd seen that Kylie had done, both right and wrong. The Kardashians had done prep work she could take advantage of when she faced Kate Upton. For, unlike many - including she felt certain, Charlotte McKinney, Goodwin had no doubt she'd be the woman facing Upton in tomorrow's final and she knew exactly how she'd bring Upton down and make the 'Queen of the Beach' crown her own.
Winner: Kate Upton, Rd 2, KO,Double D Dynamite akaThe Upton Express (Double Breast Smother)
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