So the results are in! Even though I love squash matches, I'm sorta surprised how one-sided most of these matches turned out. So going forward I'll try to have at least slightly more competitive match ups! If anyone has any constructive criticism or feedback feel free to say. Below are the results and brief rundowns of each match. I'm thinking tomorrow I might post Show #2 we shall see.
Match 1: Ariana Grande def. Lily Collins in Bra & Panties Match (33-18)
Our first match put two classic creampuffs squaring off again with the first girl stripping their opponent down to their undies wins the match. While Lily probably put forth her best effort in her otherwise pathetic catfighting career, that still was nowhere near enough to claim victory. She did manage to strip Grande's top off early on but that was all she could muster. Usually wearing a skirt to a Bra & Panties match would spell doom, especially for Ariana, but when you face Lily you could get away with such dumb decisions. Ariana finished the match by rolling up a disoriented Collins from behind, her shirt already ripped off earlier, and stripped Lily's shorts off the victory. Adding some insult to injury, Ariana grabbed the crawling away Lily by the ankles and held her under her arm spanking her now exposed booty with her tiny black lace panties offering no protection from the humiliating post-match punishment.
Match 2: Ashley Benson def. Lucy Hale (34-13)
First of three straight total squashes. This was all Ashley from the opening bell as poor Lucy stood virtually no chance. Benson methodically and almost effortlessly broke down the overwhelmed brunette and finished her off in a brutal torture rack that looked as though it was about to snap Hale's body into two pieces. Benson, feeling a little cruel, kept the hold in tact even after Lucy repeatedly screamed her surrender and begged for mercy, but only after she passed out did Ashley grow bored and dumped her motionless on the canvas for the easy win.
Match 3: Brie Larson def. Alicia Vikander in Best 2 out of 3 Falls Match(33-14)
For my money, this was the most shocking outcome. Alicia, coming into the match supremely confident that her physical training and stunt work for the upcoming Tomb Raider movie gave her the significant advantage, was most shocked of all at the events that would proceed. Brie Larson, as cool as the other side of the pillow, stunned both her opponent and the whole crowd with her swiftness, strength and precision as it became clear very early that Vikander was not prepared for what who she was facing. Brie would win both falls, the first by submission via a sick camel clutch that had Alicia's upper body shrieking up at the ceiling and the second fall coming by a total KO after a jaw-shattering drop kick that dropped the wanna-be Lara Croft like a bad of potatoes. For Alicia, an incredibly disappointing first match in the league. But for Brie, it was a warning to every other fighter to not take her lightly.
Match 4: Kendall & Kylie Jenner def. Laura & Vanessa Marano in Tag Team Match (35-11)
The last and most one-sided squash of the night. This was just a slaughter. Kendall and Kylie spent the whole match pretty much playing with their opponents like they were toys to smash and mangle. Neither Laura or Vanessa could even land a successful offensive strike of any kind against either Kardashian. It got the point where each Jenner sister would take turns plummeting one of their opponents while the other one got a microphone and did their own commentary of the events right in the ring! Mercifully for the Marano girls, their torment finally ended via a double pinfall: Kendall covered Laura in a tight schoolgirl pin practically shoving her crotch in the loser's face while Kylie just plopped her butt down right on top of Vanessa's features for a humiliating facesit cover. It's clear that in the tag team division Kendall and Kylie have drawn a line in the sand and declared themselves as the team to beat.
Match 5: Miley Cyrus def. Taylor Swift & Selena Gomez in Triple Threat Match (20-18-16)
A competitive match! This one was back and forth with twists and turns and near falls! Every combatant had their offensive moments. Even Selena, who had widely been considered nothing more than a glorified jobber, put forward a really decent effort here. Her classic rivalry with Cyrus was a definite running theme throughout the match, but Swift didn't just wait on the side. She controlled much of the early going but alas would run out of gas as the match went on. Miley, displaying some clever thinking, took care of Taylor first with a flying hurricanarana that catapulted Swift completely out of the ring! Once the country pop superstar was out of commission on the hard cement floor below, Cyrus smelled blood in the water. Lurking up behind a dazed and fatigued Selena barely getting back up to her feet on wobbly legs, Miley picked her up, flipped her over her shoulder and then ran to the middle of the ring slamming Gomez down on her head and neck for a thunderous bodyslam that shook the mat. Hooking one of Selena's long legs back for the 3 count, Miley scored the W. Swift looked on from outside the ring fuming red watching Miley raise her hand in victory while Selena remained out cold on the mat. An exciting finish for the first show of CCF!
