Princess Juicy 12 – 0 The Amazing Spider-Mouth
August 2017. Bank Holiday Monday. I’ve still not got a win in 2017 so I’ve arranged a session in Wales with someone I have a chance of beating; Princess Juicy. We arranged the session by DM over twitter and I gave her my mobile number just in case she needed to call me on the day. The whole process from the initial email to match day was very smooth; I suggested Bank Holiday Monday the previous Thursday, she got the venue booked and told me the time. Impressively efficient. It’s a warm day and this is the biggest sports fixture on the Bank Holiday Sports Special. I’ve arrived early, give her a DM to say I’m here. A message back to say she’s here. She pops out the side door and invites me in. Princess Juicy is wearing skin tight leg length gym pants and a sports bra. I told her to wear whatever she is most comfortable wrestling in and it looks like she means business. Good venue with a room at the back kitted out with mats. I recognise it from some videos that have been filmed here. I change into shorts and t-shirt and we do a quick warm up, it is pretty hot today, talking about the match and how we’ll take the first 10 minutes or so. She asks if I want to start standing or on knees, definitely on knees to avoid any injury risk during take downs.
Locking up for the first round and it is immediately obvious that everything she said in those messages is for real, she is the real deal, strong, fast and skilled. She soon has me in a head scissors and even though she is not quite on my neck I can feel her legs squeezing my skull – better tap! 1-0 to Princess Juicy. There are no gaps between points as we are straight back on our knees and then down on the mats looking for position. I’m able to defend well and frustrate her but I’m nowhere near getting a point and soon enough she’s got me in another head scissors 2-0. Princess Juicy is competitive and loves a genuine match. I’m giving 100% and trying to tire her out hoping it will pay dividends later in the bout. She is on top with options taking my arm, swings side on pulling my arm between her legs, arm bar, no way out, tap. 3-0.
We are both beginning to sweat, it’s a great work out. She’s not breathing too heavily and is clearly in excellent physical condition. Another point. This time a body scissors. 4-0. The points are racking up; a triangle, another head scissors and a breast smother take it to 7-0. She pulls my head down with a Thai grip and leans forward and down on my back from the front. I tap and she asks “what? Are you serious?” She was hoping I’d resits a bit more but she was in great passion for the guillotine and I decided to tap before it went on, her hands connecting and her leaning back. 8-0 to Juicy. The next point is improvised. She has my right arm with both of her arms; her right pulling my elbow towards her and her left pushing my wrist away. It’s not an Americana but it is having the same effect on my shoulder; I tap out. 9-0.
She is lying on her back body scissoring me as I am on my knees looking down at her. I flex my right arm and kiss my own bicep. She bursts out laughing. Regaining her concentration, squeezing hard again but I’m able to resist, she’s claiming “I’m scissoring the wrong place”, I am feeling it but don’t want her to know that. She releases me without scoring and rolls back on her knees to attack again. New tactics from Princess Juicy, getting me in an arm bar, I’m tapping now. 10-0.
I manage to get on top with the full mount position, she instinctively pulls my body in tight to her’s, limiting my options, the sweat pouring out of both of us at this stage. I can’t think what to do, Juicy is laughing again. I move a leg into the wrong position and she gets me with half a grape vine while on her back. Tapping. 11-0. I scratch my head and admit that that was basically an own goal and I’d have been better off keeping the leg where it was. She agrees.
Time for one more round, I joke that I’m looking for a consolation round, but am seriously still giving 100%. A neck crank makes the final score 12-0 to Princess Juicy. You know what, I really enjoyed that session and think I could be doing matches with Princess Juicy regularly now. Trying to work out how to defend against her skills will help me improve.
Thanks Princess for a brilliant session. A well deserved win.
