grimlok,
As your last reply was a bit of a longer quote, I won't embiggen that so I answer separately instead. It's kind of a shorthand for conflict de-escalation which isn't synonymous with being afraid to ask. Since this is the internet (duh!) people's experiences vary from decade and culture, not to mention personal temper.
When I meant that the question was heteronormative I hoped it to be understood as unintentionally unaware of underlying implications. For many centuries, if the mere thought of desiring the same sex wasn't hunted like a rabid animal, it was sexualized. In some regions, this practice ended with introducing limited civil rights, but there are places where same-sex oriented people are still viewed as dancing monkeys for our straight entertainment (and this is coming from a straight guy who back then found the transphobic jokes of Friends funny) so it's only natural that there will be reactions that scrutinize us for not making the effort. I can only speak for myself but if I had to live life as if people would constantly imagine my bedroom life or which positions I enjoy, yeah I'd be pissed.
While I totally get that this question wasn't in such a nature, it still was pretty personal and has the potential to retraumatize. From a heteronormative standpoint, it could imply a mere sexual orientation makes you a different human, from an LGBTQ one it does seem as if the questioned person is a whole other subset. Of course, it can also just be, that some think the answer is too obvious, or they don't like personal questions. Once I've quoted Charisma Carpenter and I got booted with no explanation given.
