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Katy Perry vs Ilse Aigner: Battle of Politics, Boobs, Brains and Brawns

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Offline herboyfriend

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  • Hi, it's Katy Perry! ...you better be afraid.
When 53 year old German conservative politician Ilse Aigner makes an entrance it is usually an impressive one; at her towering height of 5’11.5” in bare feet, she’s never overlooked while walking to a stage to give a speech in her high heels and Bavarian Dirndl dress.
Her entrance this week while attending the preparations for the annual Oktoberfest in Munich was not less impressive but even more so as one look at her was enough to be convinced she had a topic on mind which clearly annoyed her.
And it was not long before she took the stage to elaborate on the subject which surprised her listeners.
Californian ‘liberal’ pop princess Katy Perry is scheduled to perform a mini show of 30 minutes in precisely the huge beer tent largely sponsored by Ilse’s political party - while Ilse hates the ’imbecilic liberal with no formal education’ (Ilse’s own words).
When asked about her own background, Ilse slightly bragged about the fact that she trained and worked as an electric engineer before studying at university, taking part in developing new electronic systems in a science research program, and eventually becoming a politician. ’Ive got the brains where that girl didn’t even finish school, and, yeah, I can fix a TV set professionally, and I’ve always been a real woman with brains, and even brawn in her arms, too!’ To prove her last words, Isle flexes her arm, revealing what seems like a bicep of steel. ’Id like to give that Perry girl a chance to prove she can compete with this, if she wants to. But I’m not going to let her into this beer tent, onto this stage just like that. If she wants to perform her abominable noise on this stage she has to get past me!’

’Past you? Ms Aigner, what do you mean by that? You’ve got a design to bodily prevent her from stepping onto the stage?’ - The Interviewer who was questioning Ilse for an article in the local magazine MunichToday became particularly curious when she thought she’d discovered a trail in the conversation leading to the plans for a catfight.
She did not get disappointed, for in reply Ms Aigner continued:

’I definitely have got that design, and it’s a very entertaining one for our visitors, and at the same time it will support a good cause.’

’Can you tell us more about it, Ms Aigner?’

’The plan is simple. I will wrestle her.

You what? Did you really say, wrestle Katy Perry? Here, in the beer tent?’

’That’s the idea. Tickets will be sold, we will draw this up as an event, and I have so many fans who usually come to this tent, I’m looking forward to seeing them coming to see me fight, and cheering for me. And, of course, we want Katy Perry fans to buy tickets and come along, too, so they can cheer for her to their hearts’ delight, and eventually watch me putting the girl over my lap and spank her bottom.’

The interviewer, a small, delicate young woman who barely reached Ilse’s shoulder, looked up at her in admiration while asking:

But you mentioned a good cause. What would that be?’

’The proceeds from all the tickets sold will go to PKRA, the Puppies’ and Kittens’ Rescue Association. I love supporting that very honorable charity for animals in need, and Katy Perry will have the privilege to support it, too, just by publicly having her bottom spanked.

’You seem really convinced that you will spank Ms Perry’s bottom here on this stage!’

’Look at the poor girl, and then look at me!’ - Ilse drew herself up to her full height of almost six foot, putting her hands on her hips, and looked down at the little lady in front of her. The interviewer kept gazing up at her, concluding the talk with ’Well, thank you, Ms Aigner, for those really informative words!’ before walking away perceptibly impressed.


Not long after, the same young journalist was interviewing Katy Perry who, through friends and social media, was alerted to Ilse Aigner’s designs.

’Katy, that German lady, a politician who sponsors a beer tent at the famous Oktoberfest...’

’Oh, Ilse...Aigner!’

’Yes! You know what she said...’

’Oh yes, i heard all about it! I mean, it’s a mixed message. The bottom of it is, she really hates me, but she hasn’t just said she wants to fight me, she’s turned it into a charity event.’

’But are you accepting her challenge?’

’Uuuumh - yes! Yes, I will actually!’

’You know she’s nearly six foot tall and not a delicate girl either?’

’Look, she’s 53, right? She may be able to repair a TV set, and give long boring speeches about all her wrong political goals while inventing some boring modules for useless moon rockets, but she’s an older lady who would probably not be able to run or do a handstand like I do. She’s big, but in a fight with me uselessly so! I’ll fight her on that stage prior to my gig if that’s what it takes to be let onto that stage, and then we’ll see!’

’Ms Perry, just one favour to ask of you now!’

’What would that be?’

Ilse Aigner flexed her biceps for me and our readers, would you show me the guns in your arms, too?’
 
Katy laughed, and flexed her biceps while the interviewer compared it to what she remembered about Ilse’s, thinking that Katy’s was quite impressive, too.

’Ilse likes to talk about her education, she told us she’s qualified to repair home entertainment appliances but had also helped to develop new, innovative parts for electronic components. Does it make you feel as if she was more intelligent than you?’

’Look, all I can say is, if that slightly arrogant lady was as clever as she says  she is then why is she not rich yet? I don’t see over three hundred million dollars turning up in her net worth. So, yes, if I read the manual, I can probably even fix my own TV set, I don’t need to study years for that, and she chose to take the time to study electronics, I chose to do something else but even more successful.’

’Whats your reaction to her wanting to put you over her lap and publicly spank you in the beer tent?’

’Well, I’m not saying I could do exactly that to her - she’s a really big girl but...let her try that! How’s she gonna do it? I know how to fight, I can flip her over and pin her in spite of her size. Compared to me, she’s a dinosaur, she’s got size but nothing else. Let her brag all she wants to, but I’ll show her what happens to her when she messes with the wrong woman!’


Katy is particularly angry at Ilse’s bragging about her university education and scientific research. She wants to prove she is more intelligent than Ilse and insists that before the fight the two women will compete in an intelligence test.



On the day of Katy’s and Ilse’s meeting in the beer tent, Katy stares at Ilse’s bust with hostility, and when asked about the possibility of a boob fight breast on breast she announced she’d squash Ilse’s tits to a pulp with hers. Ilse laughs, and talks about what she calls Katy’s ‘tragic delusions’. The two women stand in from of each other, Ilse raising her arms to flex her muscles while looking down at Katy with a smirk, and Katy gazing up into Ilse’s eyes displaying her arms’ biceps and teasing her: ‘I can’t wait to wrap these around you and squeeze the shit out of you!’
Ilse replies: ‘I only need one of my arms to squash you little louse!’
‘You blob of stale fat, let’s see who’s the better woman!’
...And the fight begins.



KATY: 33 years, 5’6”

ILSE: 53 years, 5’11.5”





Below: ILSE AIGNER



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Below: Ilse Aigner with Johanna Seiler who recently successfully fought Katy Perry, defeating the Californian Gurl in the wrestling ring. The blonde ‘beer queen’ has come to wish the 53 year old brunette a ‘glorious victory’.


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Below: KATY PERRY



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BELOW: Ilse Aigner parades her cleavage and announces to the audience: ‘My pair of gorgeous girls is made for squashing the pathetic pimples of little Californian girls!’


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Below: Katy Perry’s boobs might only touch Ilse’s underbust when she stands in front of the tall 53 year old brunette, but she laughs at her enemy’s bragging and tells her fans: ‘I’m looking forward to pancaking her flabby old tits with my set of firm young milk factories!’


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Every excess is fine as long as you don't overdo it.