Model
Toni Garrn ends up frustrated after her fight with
Katy Perry. Triumphing initially when voted the sexier woman of the two, she was soon dismayed when Perry bulldozed her in the following armwrestling match, and with the wrestling match in the ring finishing as a draw (eventually neither Perry nor Garrn seemed strong enough to get a deciding advantage over her opponent) everything is in the balance now for the very last - still upcoming - fight in the series between Katy Perry and five women by now named the
’Monaco Five’.
The five ladies, Princess Charlene of Monaco and four top models, made fun of Perry during a gala as the shortest woman in a group picture, and Katy, not taking their teasing very well, ended up in a mini tournament having to fight one after the other to prove herself.
With two victories, one defeat, and one draw for herself, Katy now faces an all-deciding last match after which the ‘Monaco Five’ will either make fun of her indefinitely or will have to keep their mouths shut.
However, Katy Perry has now faced another annoyance, immediately after her fight with Toni Garrn.
The 73 year old actress
Helen Mirren first mocked Toni for not being able to ‘get that minor job done’ (defeating Perry) and then announced she’d be able to ‘demonstrate to that young loser Toni how to deal with the little pop princess for once and all’.
Katy, nettled at Helen’s claims, made a move towards an open quarrel between her and the actress when she suggested to her to ‘try and prove being more than conceited empty talk’.
All Helen had to say to Katy’s reaction was she’d step into the ring with her anytime and teach her ‘how a little girl should respect a grown woman’.
Katy replied she hates beating up old women who should be in a retirement home but wherever necessary she’d certainly ‘step up to teaching a lesson to an ugly old hag who gets far beyond herself’.
Helen finally told Katy as well as the press she would love to compete with her in a readers’ poll of CelebToday magazine to decide ‘which one of the two is the more attractive one, and which is the ugly hag’.
Katy, proud of her bust being a bra size of 32D, suggests that she and Helen should also have a boob fight tits on tits, and when she finds out that her 73 year old opponent’s breasts are, with measurements of 34C, as big her own she is particularly keen on proving that the much older woman would have to give in to her much younger boobs.
The day has come when Katy - even before her deciding fight in battling the Monaco Five - and Helen face each other to find out who’s the better woman of the two...
HELEN MIRREN:
’I guess it’s going to be an unbearable humiliation for her losing a beauty competition to a 73 year old and then getting squashed by her in the ring - but that’s the way it goes...the little brat has to be corrected and learn her lesson and I’m doubtlessly the most suitable lady to correct her and teach it to her.’KATY PERRY:
’Who?...Helen...Mirren? Can she be serious? At her age, she thinks I’m an easy prey for her? The way she overestimates herself leaves me speechless! Helen, for gawd’s sake, you’re too old to fight me!’HELEN MIRREN:
’Isn’t it sad how she can’t face the truth? It must be horrible to stand in front of a nearly 40 years older woman and know she’s more attractive than you and can kick your bum from wherever into oblivion. But, well, that’s what’s going to happen between me and the poor thing.’KATY PERRY:
’OMG, she’s going to be so devastated when I’m finished with her! Don’t old girls at her age have very brittle bones? I hope I don’t have to break any of hers before she’s on her knees begging me to let her off with an apology to me!’HELEN: 73 years, 5’4”, 66 kg, 34C
KATY: 34 years, 5’6”, 59 kg, 32D
Helen Mirren:
Katy Perry:
HELEN MIRREN, below: ‘I’m the better looking lady and will win the sex appeal contest because everybody can tell a real woman from a mere girl.’
KATY PERRY, below: ‘I’m the better looking lady and will win the sex appeal contest because everybody can tell a young, attractive woman from a has been who’s had her days.’
HELEN MIRREN: ‘Look at the size and hardness of my old woman’s muscles, Katy - you really think you can match this?’
KATY PERRY: ‘Look at me, Helen, don’t you think I’ll squash you to a pulp between these arms and legs?’
