My body is fat. I know this and you know it. What you don't know is what a pleasure it is for me to dream about being a hot fit girl. And to fight one. I find mysef alternately lusting after and hating all the skinny bitches in my life. To that end I've taken up attending yoga classes recently. These are not your grandma's yoga classes. They are at a nice studio with young people that are athletic. The women there wear crop tops and sports bras and lycra shorts to show off the flat and muscled planes of their bodies. Faces so sharp they could cut a bitch like me. I opt for the heated classes too. The looks i get in the studio are priceless. From open mouthed guffaws to preening glares to condescening smirks. I'm so the odd one out. Mirrors all over the place and no where to hide. The heat melts me and I sweat before the classes start. As I struggle with the poses and keeping up with the difficult cardio and strength combinations my mind slips from om to oh my word. And every pose or hold is a reminder of my inadequacy. I studied biology so I know where I am on the evolutionary food chain in terms of desirability from a male partner. And i know that the bitches around me are higher. Much higher. And its driven home constantly. A round of pushups. I lose to the jewish girl beside me. Her badass arms could likely beat me in arm wrestling. Maybe she thinks I need to be sent to a camp where she is a guard, and she forces me to do manual labor and restricts my diet. The Asian girl in front of me. Her cardio is off the hook. So is the shape of her face and those beautiful lines in her cheekbones and jaw. Her head is large and that strong Asian jaw guards her vulnerable neck much better than my inbred looking chin could ever protect my fat neck and its sweaty rolls. It is no accident of nature that she is breathing the ujiyah darth vader breath of fire out of her nostrils and my mouth is hanging low and my tongue wagging like a dog. Maybe she thinks about karate chopping me in my neck, or wrapping her hands around it and squeezing as she laughs while i try without effect to do the same to her. The blonde bitch in the front row. As we are made by the hot bitch teacher to jump lunges no part of her ass shakes. Its just solid muscle and firmness powering her 18 inches off the ground with each swtich. I can hop a few inches. For about 10 seconds. But she impressively lasts the full 60 seconds. Her booty shorts have some writing in hindu. I wonder if it says, "Training mine so I can kick yours." The brunette at the front of the class. Good lord her abs are defined. My how I'd like to touch them...punch them. But who am I kidding? It might break my hand. I outweigh the bitch by probably 60 lbs. And all I can think of when I see her doing mountain climbers is holding that plank position above me and using those tight core muscles to drive alternating knees repeatedly into my soft belly. Fuck I want to be a hot girl. The teacher approaches me with a slient disdain. Her adjustments are designed to torture me. She balls her fist and slams it into her open palm and says "breath in rythmm. Exhale and flex when your lungs are empty as if you were about to be punched there." Hot girl training 101. Exercise as if someone was about to start punching you. As she adjusts my hands I can see that hers are bigger than mine, even though I'm much bigger than her. Those prominent knuckles and bones and long fingers. Perfect for gripping a sweaty yoga mat, and perfect for turning my soft body black and blue all over. It is hard to concentrate on just one bitch. There are so many that intimidate me. So many to be inspired by to work harder in the class. My thoughts against these other students alternate during the class between wanting to be like them, wanting to sleep with them, fighting them, and putting a bag over their pretty heads and suffocating them. "Breathe through your nose now bitch!" I'm curious as to what they think of me if at all. Do any of them for a moment have such violent and vile thoughts towards themselves or others and to me? Do they size me up on the street or in a bar and think "I'd love to beat that tubby into the yoga mat. Let my hot and rich boyfriend see it. Remind him how lucky he is and turn him on for crazy sex."
After being on this site for some time now I'm convinced that many of us do size each other up. I have always known it was true for me, but reading stories and chatting with you here has assured me I'm not alone. That asian bitch...I think i could take her in arm wrestling, the asians are not as strong. But fighting for dear life is a different animal. Would the jewish bitch bust my nose just to enjoy the site of me choking on my own blood, my air suddenly cut in half, so that she could taunt me and wear me down? "Does this heated studio make you think you are in a gas chamber?" The blonde slut's ass in her yoga shorts on top of my chest, bouncing the same way she likely does on her boyfriend's cock, until breathless sudennly my ribs begin cracking under her. Fuck me if she would not also have her arms raised overhead flexing them at me. I dream of such encounters, but in reality they would probably be more a nightmare for me. So listen up bitches, the next time you see the big girl at your class, work it. Work it like you are training to fight me. I'm studying your ways, learning your weaknesses. In case we should ever meet in a dark alley late at night.
