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My long form story

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My long form story
« on: June 14, 2019, 08:44:31 AM »
I'm working on a sort of long ish catfight fantasy story. It's not done yet so what's posted here sort of just ends abruptly but I'd like to know what people think.

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Tosha vs. Claire

Riley had never seen Tosha so worked up before. They had been dating for three years and living together in their small one bedroom apartment for the past two, but the way she was behaving right now seemed very out of the ordinary and almost frightening to him. About five minutes ago she showed him the conversation between her and her rival Claire that they had through Instagram DMs. Tosha angrily told her to come over to their apartment right now so that they could have a rematch of their fight from two weeks ago. She had had enough of Claire constantly DMing Riley seductive selfies in an attempt to win him over and steal him away from Tosha. Claire said she would be there in ten minutes. The news that he was about to watch his girlfriend fight her ex best friend in their bedroom was frightening to Riley, but at the same time very exciting. He timidly watched Tosha angrily pace around their bedroom. “Ugh wait I can’t fight in these clothes,” she said. She was wearing a tight pair of black skinny jeans and a white button shirt, as she had recently gotten home from work. As she began removing her clothes to change they heard a knock on the door. Riley immediately got up to answer it.

He opened the front door to find Claire standing on the other side. It was almost uncanny how similar she was to Tosha in body type. She stood at 5’2” and was very thin, but definitely not lacking in the breast, hips, and ass regions. It seemed like her tits and ass were the only parts of her body that had any fat at all, but boy were they large. Her hair was long, straight, and very blonde. She wore a tight white crop top with spaghetti straps over her shoulders and a small pair of blue denim booty shorts. It was apparent she was not wearing a bra. Judging by her body language it was obvious she expected to see Tosha on the other side of the door. She stood with all her weight on one hip and her arms folded beneath her breasts in what was probably a subtle attempt at making them look bigger. Once she saw that it was Riley on the other side her demeanor immediately changed. “Oh hey you,” she said. She walked in the door and slowly shut it behind her. She then walked directly up to Riley so that her chest was lightly pressed against his. His back was up against the wall as she stared directly into his eyes. “You know you’re gonna be mine by the end of tonight, right?” She said. Riley was getting harder and more nervous by the second. “I-I don’t know,” he stuttered. “I’ve been with Tosha forever and, well I love her and...” he stopped talking purely out of nervousness. Claire chuckled. “Well,” she said. She lightly placed a hand over his obviously hard cock, leaned in close, and whispered in his ear, “we’ll see how you feel after I beat the shit out of your girlfriend.” The sound of her saying that gave him chills. Riley really did love Tosha and did not want to be unfaithful to her, but he couldn’t ignore his attraction to Claire and it was becoming more and more apparent to him that this situation almost wasn’t even about him. The two girls had a grudge to settle and no force in the world could stop them from settling it. Whoever the victor was would be the one to claim him as her prize and he didn’t even have any say in the matter. Claire took a step away from him, smiled and winked at him, and playfully spun around and skipped to the bedroom. As he watched her he had the thought that she looked too delicate to even hurt a fly.

He walked into the bedroom to find the two girls staring each other down with their arms folded. Tosha had changed into a black crop top with spaghetti straps over her shoulders, also not wearing a bra, and a small black pair of booty shorts. Her hair was dark black and shoulder length and slightly thicker and wavier than Claire’s. She too was very thin everywhere except her ass and tits. Her skin tone was equally as pale as Claire’s. Both girls were the exact same height and seemed to be the exact same weight as well. Without taking her eyes off Claire, Tosha ordered Riley to sit. He obeyed and sat in his chair in the corner of the bedroom. His heart was pounding as he watched his girlfriend and her rival stare each other down. About ten more seconds passed in silence. Finally, Tosha said, “You won’t be talking to Riley anymore after I put you in your place tonight.” Claire laughed. “I kicked your ass last time,” she responded. “What makes you think that won’t happen again?” Tosha clearly didn’t like that response. She unfolded her arms and clenched both hands into fists down at her sides. Claire mirrored this action. “You did NOT kick my ass!” Tosha screamed. Claire took a small step closer to her opponent so that their breasts were now lightly touching each other. “I was on top the whole time,” Claire said. “I’d call that winning.” Tosha responded by taking her own step closer to Claire. They were now both pushing their breasts and stomachs into each other and their faces were so close together that their noses were almost touching. “Fuck you, cxnt.” Tosha spit the words in Claire’s face. Claire responded with her own “Fuck you.” They stared each other down in silence for a few more seconds. “Do something,” Claire said. It was time.

Tosha placed both hands on Claire’s biceps and pushed her as hard as she could. Claire regained her balance, then lunged forward and pushed Tosha back. The two stared at each other for a brief moment, then finally both lunged forward at each other simultaneously. They both screamed as they reached for each other’s hair. The sound of the two girls’ chests slamming together echoed in Riley’s ears. Their breasts and stomachs were now completely flattened up against each other and both of them had their arms wrapped completely around their opponent’s necks and both pairs of hands were clinging for dear life onto as large of clumps of their opponent’s hair as they could grab. They were now in a symmetrical bear hug position, almost as if the fronts of their bodies were glued together. Both girls pulled as hard as they could on their rivals’ scalps and danced around the bedroom.

For what felt to Riley like an eternity, but was, in reality, only a few seconds, the only sounds in the room were the light smacking and clapping noises coming from the two girls’ flesh, skin, and clothes slamming into and rubbing against each other in various ways, mixed in with the passionate heavy breaths and high pitched moans coming from the both of them. (Riley noticed that Tosha was making a lot of the same noises that she did when they had sex, and wondered if the noises Claire was making were similar to the ones she made whenever she was getting fucked.)

Both girls were extremely confident in their own abilities to win, but Riley knew that the reality was that neither of them were particularly tough or strong, or even knew how to fight. Prior to their first fight at the playground two weeks ago, neither girls had ever been in a physical altercation before. Really, they were both actually pretty feminine and dainty and historically have avoided confrontation with people. It seemed that Claire’s desire to claim Riley as her own, and Tosha’s desire to protect what was hers, was enough motivation for the two to handle each other by whatever means necessary. He watched as the two young girls clumsily swayed back and forth within the small, dimly lit bedroom, trading the dominant position back and forth. First with Tosha exerting enough strength to push Claire backwards, then Claire doing the same to Tosha.
In an attempt to get her on the ground Tosha threw Claire by the hair towards the floor. Claire lost her grip of Tosha’s hair but managed to keep her balance and stay on her feet. Before Tosha could retaliate, Claire lunged forward in an attempt to tackle her opponent. She shoved her right shoulder into Tosha’s stomach and wrapped both her arms fully around her waist. She had hoped she could tackle Tosha to the ground but they stayed on their feet. With her right shoulder pressing into Tosha’s stomach and the back of her neck underneath Tosha’s right armpit, the two girls traveled across the bedroom until Tosha’s back was slammed into the wall with a very loud thud. Tosha screamed loudly upon the impact. Claire tried to keep her shoulder pushing as hard into Tosha’s stomach as she could in order to pin her up against the wall. Tosha retaliated by scratching and punching Claire’s exposed lower back. She punched Claire with both fists on her lower back and side, and in sync with every syllable she screamed, “YOU DUMB FUCKING cxnt!!!” After landing a few very loud punches into Claire’s side, Tosha grabbed as hard as she could with both hands into both sides of Claire’s waist in an attempt to get a stable grip over her entire body and shove her off of her. She squeezed hard into the muscle consisting of Claire’s lower waist and dug her fingernails deep into her skin. Claire let out a high pitched yelp in response.

Claire knew she needed to get out of this position. She slowly began raising her upper body to stand up straight, all while still attempting to keep the pressure of her body against Tosha’s to keep her pinned to the wall. As her face reached Tosha’s large breasts and ended up temporarily buried in them, she simultaneously raised her arms up from around Tosha’s waist and instead decided to attack the face. She grabbed Tosha’s hair again with her left hand and slammed the entire open palm of her right hand onto the left side of Tosha’s face. The slap was very loud and turned Tosha’s head so she was looking completely sideways. Claire kept her hand pressed up against Tosha’s face and tried to push her head into the wall. Tosha responded by also grabbing Claire’s hair with her left hand and squeezing her face with the other. Now with both pairs of hands occupying their opponents’ hair and face, Claire took a small step back and then slammed the entire front of her torso into Tosha’s. Both girls let out loud exasperated grunts from the motion. Tosha slowly turned her head to face Claire, in opposition to the force of Claire’s hand. She slowly took a step forward, thus removing her back from the wall, then removed her hand from Claire’s face, formed a fist and punched her hard in the jaw. Claire spun around and fell face down onto Tosha and Riley’s bed, her face buried directly into the two pillows. Riley was already touching himself.

Claire spun around on her back just in time for Tosha to leap on top of her. She landed with her chest directly on top of Claire’s. Tosha’s left leg went in between Claire’s legs, meaning Claire’s left leg was in between Tosha’s. Tosha began choking Claire with her left hand and used her right hand to punch Claire hard in the face again. Before she could land a second hit, however, Claire grabbed hair on both sides of Tosha’s head and swung her entire upper body to the right and down onto the bed. The two girls rolled over once so that Claire was now on top, but that didn’t last long. Tosha immediately grabbed Claire’s hair in the exact same fashion and the two slowly rolled around from the foot of the bed, back to the pillows, and then back again. The momentum of their rolling was slow, but consistent. Both girls were emitting loud, high pitched grunts and moans with every bit of force they exerted against each other. Eventually Tosha had the idea to remove one hand from Claire’s hair in order to start punching her in the stomach, sides, and lower back. Claire quickly did the same. The sounds of their grunts and moans, in combination with the soft clapping noises made by their fists being buried into each others’ flesh, and their stomachs and breasts pushing hard against each other, drove Reily crazy. He felt he could cum at any moment but was forcing himself not to.

After a few minutes of their slow rolling they fell off the bed and ceased their momentum once they landed on the floor. They landed with Tosha on her back and Claire on top of her. Tosha’s legs were wrapped around Claire’s waist, essentially in missionary position. Claire had both her hands grabbing the hair on either side of Tosha’s head, while Tosha had both arms wrapped completely around Claire’s neck. Tosha was using this constriction around Claire’s head to bury her face in her tits. At this point Reily could tell they were both tired. They were both breathing very heavily and now lay in one spot. They laid there in that position for about twenty seconds before Tosha finally began punching Claire in the rib cage and, syncing each punch with a syllable, said “You think you’re so fucking pretty on Instagram don’t you?”

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Offline catfightlover40

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Re: My long form story
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2019, 03:03:59 PM »
I'd say, definitely go for it. The flow of action that compliments the setup is good and it makes readers, or it did with me, invested in the characters, which helps to remember the story better, and years later down the line it won't be just  "that story with the blonde girl and the brunette girl".

It shows that you care, both in style and substance, and as for long... only you know how long a story you have written before (regardless of subject), a 5k, but even a 10k length is acceptable, you have the talent so it's a question of time management and patience.
The  home of my multi-part work: https://www.patreon.com/powelltothepeople