[Glamour Fights]

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Goldie Hawn	Linda Evans
24 years old	27 years old
5'5" 118 pounds	5'8” 125 pounds
34B-24-36	34C-24-34
29th 3pts 1-16-1	5th 32pts 16-2-0

Goldie just got done facing off the future Dallas star and now must face a future Dynasty star, one who would show great delight in doing her catfight scenes. Goldie would have a good fight in Private Benjamin so she is not to be underestimated. Linda is still in the hunt for the title so expect her to come out with her claws barred. Goldie is fighting for pride and to stay out of last place so she will be equally aggressive. Don’t expect this to be one-sided just because of their records. Linda has a good record but has struggled for many of her wins and Goldie plans to give her a good struggle. You can see Goldie eyeing the big, bare targets she is going after.

Luciana Paluzzi	Elke Sommer
32 years old	29 years old
5'5" 122 pounds	5'7" 125 pounds
36C-24-36	36B-22-36
10th 27pts 13-4-1	3rd 34pts 17-1-0

Luciana lost a tough fight to Raquel Welch but gave her all she could handle. She is looking forward to giving Elke even a tougher fight. Elke lost a tough fight to Ann-Margret to get knocked out of first place all the way down to 3rd. She will be fighting tooth and nail to regain first place. Also disparaging remarks about her fighting abilities and fitness after her loss to Ann-Margret have infuriated her even more. Finally the relative important of Elke and Raquel against Luciana will be an indication of how Elke and Raquel might do against each other when they face off in round 30 –as if Elke needs anymore motivation against Luciana. This will probably be the premier fight of this grouping although there will be interest in Senta Berger against Farrah Fawcett to see if Senta stays in the lead. Luciana wants to show that she is as good an Italian fighter as Sophia and Claudia. Elke wants to show she is the best around. Another fight not for the squeamish. In the photos Luciana looks like she has sneaky smile on her face as she thinks about what she will do to Elke. Elke looks somewhat cocky and plans to strut her stuff.

Suzanne Somers	Sybil Danning
23 years old	22 years old
5'5½” 118 pounds	5'7” 120 pounds
35C-23-34	36C-24-36
15th 20pts 10-8-0	2nd 35pts 17-0-1

Suzanne got beat up badly by Senta Berger but she has bounced back refreshed and is looking forward to her fight with Sybil. She says she is not afraid as Sybil who looks no where near as formidable as Senta was. Those are fighting words to Sybil and Suzanne may have been better served to remain quiet. Sybil thinks of herself as the badest bitch around. She says “I will teach that fucking airhead who the badest bitch is. She will regret thinking that Senta is more formidable than me.” Can Suzanne back her words or or will Sybil back here words up. Which one will tear the other apart? Surely one of them will.

Farrah Fawcett	Senta Berger
22 years old	28 years old
5'5'½” 113 pounds	5'5” 127 pounds
33½B-22-33	38D-26-36
16th 18pts 9-9-0	1st 36pts 18-0-0

There are those that say Farrah should bring along her tennis racket to use against Senta to gain an upset win over her. Others says this will be a mistake as Senta will easily take the racket away from Farrah and use in on her bony ass. Senta might have a let down after gaining first place but it isn’t likely as she will be bound and determined to remain in first place. Farrah will try to use her speed to stay away from Senta and make lighting attacks and then back off to try Senta out. Will this strategy work?

Joey Heatherton	Annette Funicello
25 years old	27 years old
5'5” 112 pounds	5'3” 118 pounds
34C-20-32	36C-22-36
8th 30pts 15-3-0	21st 12pts 6-12-0

Joey Heatherton is seething after almost beating but then losing to “softy” Jill St. John. Her eyes light up as she sees another “softy” in Annette Funicello to take out her revenge on. Annette got beat up badly by Diane McBain. But she is anxious to hold up the honor of her Italian heritage and show she has that hot Italian temperament underneath that sweet face. A fierce battle could take place as two of the shorter women lock up with both hands in the others hair.

Stefanie Powers	Barbara Bach
27 years old	22 years old
5'7” 118 pounds	5''7” 116 pounds
36B-25-35	36B-24-35
31st 2pts 1-17-0	27th 6pts 3-15-0

Stefanie has learned that her chances for victory are few and far between so she wants to make the best of any opportunity for a win. She sees the slender Barbara as just such an opportunity. Also she wants to stay out of last place and has sharpen her claws for this fight. Barbara also knows her opportunities for a win are slim. She considers losing to such a weak woman as Stefanie to be unbearable. Her claws are equally sharpened. Just because these two are near the bottom of the fighters doesn’t mean that this won’t be an intense hard fought fight. It will be. It could even be a favorite of those who like unskilled, weak women trying to dominate each other in a girlie catfight.

Loni Anderson	Victoria Principal
24 years old	19 years old
5'5” 120 pounds	5'5” 115 pounds
38E-25-36	37C-23-35
9th 28pts 13-3-2	12th 22pts 11-7-0

Loni thought she had a win but barely lost to the future [Dynasty/i] star  Linda Evans and not faces the future Dallas star Victoria Principal. Losing to Linda is no disgrace as she is one tough, good fighter and Loni has had quite a few good wins. Victoria has also established her credentials as a fighter with some good wins. Loni respects Victoria’s ability and is looking forward to the challenge. Victoria has less respect for Loni thinking she is just another overrated overly stuffed blonde (“those tits can’t be real”) who will be fodder in her hands. “I will rip out all that phony, bleached hair and show you her dark roots.” When told of this Loni quipped “We shall see how red her roots are.” This should be a good, close fight.

Martine Beswick	Jaclyn Smith
28 years old	24 years old
5'5” 128 pounds	5'7" 118 pounds
35B-25-37	34½B-24-35
18th 14pts 7-11-0	32nd 2pts 1-17-0

Expectations are that this could be the biggest one-sided fight this round. Everyone expects that except Jaclyn Smith. She remains quiet but she has been studying all of Martine’s fights. She thinks she understands how a big, tough woman like Martine has lost 11 fights while winning 7 and plans to use what she has learned against her. Martine is strutting around like she is going to give Jaclyn the biggest defeat in history. “I am ready for the weak, hapless bitch and will completely and utterly destroy her.”

[Vassago]

Here are my picks, I've chosen a couple of possible upsets 

Goldie Hawn vs Linda Evans - Goldie is brave enough to challenge Linda in a straight-forward fight but gets blown away in a couple of minutes.

Luciana Paluzzi vs Elke Sommer - Had Luciana beaten Raquel Welch in the previous round I'd pick her over Elke, but in the end I'll still go with the blonde firecracker who bodyscissors the Italian into submission after a close fight.

Suzanne Somers vs Sybil Danning - Sybil wrecks Suzanne and sends her for a face rearrangement in a very brutal but one-sided fight.

Farrah Fawcett vs Senta Berger - Senta rips Farrah into pieces in another one-sided beatdown.

Joey Heatherton vs Annette Funicello - Annette's speed isn't good enough against Joey's vicious claws and face-slapping. The petite brunette gets smothered by Joey and submits after struggling to breathe underneath the blonde's body.

Stefanie Powers vs Barbara Bach - Neither of these women can dominate the other and they're both generally of the weakest in the whole competition. I'll go somewhat against the odds and pick Stefanie for an upset win by headlocking Barbara into submission after a long fight.

Loni Anderson vs Victoria Principal - Once again I'll pick the underdog and say that Victoria is more then capable of tearing Loni's tits off.

Martine Beswick vs Jaclyn Smith - After ripping Edy Williams bald, Martine is probably more then happy to see Jaclyn as her next opponent. This will be a very one-sided affair with Jaclyn being clobbered into a brutal loss. Martine wouldn't resist of pulling Jaclyn's hair out but she'd sure be looking into some of these dumb blondes to also come her way.

[djcrash]

The most notable of the the matches in this round would see Sybil put a stomp right in the middle of Suzanne's thigh master. The most erotic and almost even of matches has Loni being smothered by Victoria.

[Glamour Fights]

The results are it. Here is what I observed:

Goldie Hawn 23 vs Linda Evans 42: Linda Evans loves the physical action in wrestling and catfighting. She is not particularly nasty but she is serious about what she does. She does not let up against inferior opponents. Certainly Goldie Hawn proved to be an inferior opponent. This was a multiple submission match. Linda enjoyed getting every type of submission from scissors (head and waist), boston crags, arm and leg locks, cradle pin submissions, full body and cross body pin submissions, and her favorite - schoolgirl pin submissions. She gave Goldie the third worst beat down this round.

Luciana Paluzzi 28 vsElke Sommer 36: Another important fight that could affect the rankings. Elke is still rankled from hearing someone refer to her as soft and weak with extra flab around her hips and belly. That add to Elke's desire to remain just behind Senta Berger in the hunt for the championship. If Luciana hoped to win this fight those words riled Elke enough to ensure her defeat. Still Luciana gave Elke a very tough fight. The two battled back and forth for most of the fight. Elke's resolve and determination remained greater and she eventually told control of Luciana at the end. Luciana feels proud she gave Elke a good fight but is also feeling somewhat down having lost close fights to both Elke and Raquel. So close to being a star and yet no prize.

Suzanne Somers 23 vsSybil Danning 40: Suzanne posed showing off her thighs with her thigh master machine. If she had intended to intimidate Sybil she didn't succeed. Instead Sybil took this as a direct challenge to prove that her legs were stronger and superior to Suzanne's. People gasped when Sybil agreed to a leg fight as they figured her strength was in catfighting and punching. They all shook their heads and said it would be a close fight. Boy were they wrong! Sybil totally dominated Suzanne, giving her the fourth worst beat down this time around. It was total humiliation with Sybil destroying Suzanne at Suzanne's strongest and best weapon. S great thrill for Sybil as she loves humiliating her foe more than anything else.

Farrah Fawcett 21 vsSenta Berger 44: Farrah brought along her tennis racket to use against Senta. She figured if Tuesday Weld could use her purse there was nothing that prevented her using her tennis racket against the much bigger and more powerful Senta. The problem is that when you bring a weapon you risk the possibility that it could be taken away from you and used against you. Just what happened her.  Senta caught Farrah's first swing with one hand and just ripped the racket out of Farrah's hand. Without using the racket, Senta pounded Farrah silly. Then she dragged Farrah over the the net by her famous hair. She draped Farrah over the net, pulled her panties down to expose her bum and spanked her with the racket.

Joey Heatherton 38 vs Annette Funicello 26: The lighter Joey Heatherton had little trouble in getting the win over shorter Annette Funicello. She simply out muscled her. Joey challenged Annette to lock up fingers in a test of strength. Joey easily bent Annette's fingers back and forced her to her knees. Joey then pulled Annette's head down between her thighs in a standing neck scissors. Annette's neck was no match for Joey's thighs.

Stefanie Powers 24 Barbara Bach 40: Barbara beating Stefanie couldn't be called an upset as Stefanie is know as one of the weakest fighters in the tournament. It is a contest among her, Jaclyn Smith, Nancy Kwan, and Goldie Hawn as to who is weakest. The surprise is how thoroughly and totally Barbara beat down Stefanie. The expectations were that this would be a close fight of two weaker and more unskilled fighters. Barbara may not have had a lot of reasons to celebrate so far but she celebrated long and hard into the early morning hours after giving Stefanie such a thrashing.

Loni Anderson 34 vs Victoria Principal 31: Another fight that was important to both combatants. They were close in rankings and a victory would be a big plus for them . Loni was coming off a tough loss to Linda Evans after beating top ranked Sybil Danning. Loni wanted to get back on a winning track. Victoria had just pounded Goldie Hawn in an easy victory and was looking to continue her winning ways.  Loni and Victoria were evenly matched. The faster Victoria was off the mark quickly and got Loni in a painful hammerlock / choke hold. Loni somehow forced her way out but kept ahold of Victoria's arms and reversed positions. Victoria escaped and from there on the two exchanged holds back and forth. Victoria was so concerned of getting breast smothered by the biggest beasts in the tournament she failed to recognize a good move by Loni to get her in a figure-four neck scissors. Victoria almost pulled Loni's legs apart but couldn't and had to submit to give Loni a close win.

Martine Beswick 42 vs Jaclyn Smith 22: The biggest question was whether Martine would give Jaclyn the biggest beat down or would Senta Berger over Farrah Fawcett. Martine lost this contest with Senta but only by 2.1 percentage points. Jaclyn was a sore, bloody mess by the time Martine got through with her. We thought there was a honor code that said one actress shouldn't do this to another. Apparently that is not so. The rules committee is looking at instituting a rule that says two fighters cannot place a side bet about which one can beat up their opponent the worst. Martine says she will beat up any committee member who votes for such a rule.

[Vassago]

Many thx for the comments in both sets, Glamour Fights  Looks like neither of my upsets came alive but at least Victoria put up a strong challenge to the buxom Loni