Our Scene…
Catfight City - a loud, bustling metropolis where the citizens work hard and play harder (when they’re not getting terrorized by super villains or woefully inept superheroes…)
The Cast of characters…
The Writer - A sublime goddess who’s sheer force of will brought the world of Catfight City To life! She has the heart of a poet, the body of a warrior, the wit of a rouge and an arse that won’t quit.
Narrator - a loud booming 1950’s voice who sit’s in the clouds narrating the every day trials and tribulations of the people (much to their annoyance…)
Joey - the narrator’s loyal assistant and researcher who rather foolishly looks up to the narrator
Gemma Rox stars as The Tattooed Temptress - super villain who revels in the cries of her beaten foes and likes stealing shiny things… shiny things and cakes…
Dressed in a tight fitting cat suit and eye mask she stalks the city ridding women of their possessions and stunning men with her cleavage
Jonica stars as The Ragin’ Cajun - the diminutive super hero who packs a punch! Unfortunately, her aim isn’t all up to that… and she has a terrible weakness…
She scours the night looking to set wrongs to right dressed in a modified PVC LSU Tigers cheerleader outfit that’s cut into a two piece to show her washboard abs, she strikes fear into the hearts of villains and tightness into the pants of men!
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Narrator: Catfight City was dark and lonesome, the dim streetlights cast shadows far and wide. The hour struck 3 and the people were resting from a hard day’s work… all except one... The Tattooed Temptress!!! EEEK!!! HORROR!!! A new terror plagues our city! Can nobody save us from her rain of.. Er… what does she do?
Joey: *whispers* she beats up other girls and steals stuff
Narrator: Really?… Is that it?
Temptress: “HEY!!! Fuck you! I can beat up Guy’s too you know!”
Narrator: *in a shaky voice* no… um.. of course, my apologies
Joey: you could take her boss!
Narrator: *In a hushed tone* Shut up Joey!… ahem… ANYWAY! As I was saying can anyone save us from her rain of… er… beatings and Kleptomania?
Temptress: “HEY! I don’t have Kleptomania, I steal things because I want to not because I have to!”
Joey: what’s the difference?
Temptress: “the difference is… um… er… FUCK YOU!!!”
Narrator: As the Tattooed Temptress sneaks down the alleyway she hunts her pray… quietly, sneakily, seductively, her eye mask hiding her undeniable beauty, her black skin-tight cat suit contrasts against her pearly white skin and hugs her every curve, framing her pert, succulent ass cheeks, her cleavage bursting forth from the V cut like a…
Temptress: “you do know I can hear all this right?”
Narrator: AHEM… as I was saying, she’s skulking down the alleyway her prey, a vulnerable 22 year old barmaid just walking home from her shift wearing $4,000 earrings
Joey: yeah like that’s realistic
Narrator: I never said this was a good story, just a story… as she approached the young girl turns spots the huntress and shrieks sprinting down the alleyway but faster then a speeding bullet… *whispers* can we get sued for using that??
Joey: Um… I’d air on the side of caution…
Narrator: Faster than a rabid mongoose she leaps a full 30 feet through the air landing gracefully cutting the young woman’s escape off!
Young Woman: “PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP!!!”
Temptress: *growling menacingly* “nobody can help you now sweetie… now hand over those earrings or I’m going to have to take them from you!”
The Ragin Cajun!: “I’ll Save you!” She roars from the rooftop!
Citizen 2,347: “HEY!!! I’m trying to sleep here!”
Cajun: *meekly* “sorry…”
Narrator: leaping down from the building she slams feet first into the asphalt cracking it below her mighty presence!
Temptress: “putting on some wait there honey?”
Cajun: “ooohh… fuck you tramp!” She hisses in reply “Now flee little lady, I’ll take it from here!”
Narrator: as the barmaid flees from the scene the Tattooed Temptress doesn’t even look mildly concerned! She just stands there defiantly hands on hip, her head cocked to one side…
Temptress: “Really?… A cheerleader outfit?… REALLY?” she quips
Cajun: “Hey! It took me ages to make this!” she smoulders “now are you gonna come quietly or do I have to bring you in roughly mon cher?”
Temptress: “Please honey! You Don’t have what it take to bring me down!”
Cajun: “Oh I’ve got what it takes! Bring it Bitch!”
Temptress: “consider it brought!”
Cajun: “It’s On!!!”
Temptress: “It’s on like Donkey Kong!”
Narrator: seriously girls… the trash talk is just embarrassing! It’s on like Donkey Kong?
Temptress and Cajun: “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”
Temptress: raising her hands behind her head she nods to the Ragin’ Cajun “Give it your best shot honey!”
Narrator: with a mighty leap, The Ragin’ Cajun leaps at the Temptress closing the 10ft gap in a single stride and slams her powerful fist deep into the Temptresses rock hard abs! a sonic boom erupts taking out the nearby windows and sending the Temptress flying through the air only to crash through the wall of the warehouse 50 feet behind her!
Cajun: “Oh god… I’ve killed another one! I’m SO getting fired for this!”
Narrator: but as the dust settles a rustling can be heard as a hand slowly pushes through the tones of rubble… oh my god!!! The temptress still lives! She stands, rock and concrete dust falling from her shoulders as she walks out of the debris, her hair tangled and dusty she strides purposefully…
Temptress: “now it’s on!” she growls
Narrator: the Temptress sprints quickly closing the 50ft distance in the blink of an eye she grabs the Cajuns white hair and pulls her head down ramming her knee up at the same time launching her through the air spinning like a rag doll! She crashes down onto a parked car at the end of the alley, the force from her falling body turning the car into wreckage as glass and metal fly everywhere
Cajun: “…uuuuhhhhh…. Fuuuuck…” she groans
Narrator: The Cajun shakes her head to quickly wipe the cobwebs free as she rights herself and searches the alleyway for her attacker… but she’s gone! Turning left and right, she spins expecting an attack to come from any angle… her normal cocky attitude dissipates as she tip-toes down into the main street, normally the super villains she battles just turn out to be ordinary villains and well… they’re usually dead by now… but now she is up against a rival… a girl who seems to match her power… suddenly she catches a shift in the wind and she twists, sidestepping and throwing out a clothesline smashing the temptress to the ground! The earth splits as the momentum of the charge carries the tattooed temptress forward tearing up the road like an earthquake!
Temptress: “OOOMMMFFF…” she gasps
Narrator: dazed and hurting the temptress slowly rises only to feel an almighty smash in her back! As the Ragin’ Cajun SMASHES her shoulder into her spine in a vicious tackle any of the Fighting Tigers would have been proud of! The momentum carries them through 3 buildings! Smashing a gaping whole through wall after wall, the temptress rammed face first as the Cajun carries on her charge! They come to a halt on the next street where the Temptress gasps, pants and winces on all fours, her immaculate appearance now covered in brick dust and flakes of timber, her cat suit torn in all the right places…
Temptress: “careful…”
Narrator: sorry… her cat suit torn from the carnage, The Cajun stands legs parted hands on hips like a proud victor
Cajun: “Time to go for a field goal!” she mocks
Narrator: sprinting forward she RAMS the boot into the Temptresses ribs! Sending her spinning through the air, the quiet night sky suddenly filled with the sound of leather on skin and a bloodcurdling shriek of agony as the temptress skyrockets 300 feet! Smashing down into a factory in the distance! Within the blink of an eye, the plucky hero closes the gap in time to watch her foe crash through the sheet metal wall of the factory and hear the crash as her body hurtles like a comet through the heavy machinery inside!
Cajun: “are you ready to give up mon cher?” she teases, stepping through the whole made by her foe “come on sweetie, you know you can’t take… uuuhhhh… wwwoooohhhhh…”
Narrator: what’s this! The Cajun stops in her tracks and drops to her knees! Looking up she sees box after box of strawberries! Oh no!!! the Ragin Cajun’s only weakness!!!
Joey: WHAT? Strawberries?
Narrator: look it’s a long fucking story, just look up her profile on free catfights, you‘ll get the joke… She crawls backwards making for the exit but a powerful hand grips her boot, pulling her backwards! Her face dragging on the floor as she pleads for mercy!
Temptress: “HAHAHAAAA!!! Your only weakness! STRAWBERRIES!!! Of all the factories in all the world, you had to kick me into this one!” she teases cruelly…
Narrator: with her left hand she picks her drained enemy up by the hair she lifts her off the ground! The Cajun’s feet dangle as she’s held aloft painfully before ramming in punch after punch into the Cajuns exposed abs! raining down blows without mercy or fatigue she assaults her prey relentlessly before she allows her to fall back down to terra firma. Seeing the mighty Cajun crawling on all fours gives the temptress an evil idea, and one that could destroy the pint sized pistol once an for all!, reaching down she pulls back the Cajuns pants just above the ass then grabbing a punnet of strawberries… oh my god!!! She pours them down her pants!!! Gripping her beaten opponents pants by the waistline she screams out in a chillingly merciless cry
Temptress: “STRAWBERRY WEDGIE!!!!!!”
Cajun: “NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” she screams lifted off the ground in agony! “NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Narrator: Can the Ragin Cajun survive?
Can The Tattooed Temptress jam any more strawberries down there?
And why the hell is The Cajun’s weakness Strawberries?
Find out next week for more TALES OF CATFIGHT CITY!!!!!!!
Joey: that was lame, I’m going home.
