The Cat and the Empress
CANON
Starring:
Kristen Bell as Tasha Young aka "The Cat"
Lucy Liu as Jacqueline Yun aka "Empress"
Sophie Turner as Caroline aka "The Assistant"
Zendaya as Kiki
One clear perfectly-sunny afternoon Tasha Young pulled up to her residence on the coast of the French Riviera. She would often take the entire day do drive around the scenic coastline after completing one of her heists. This last one may have been her favorite: a priceless Byzantine pendant that had been christened “treasure from heaven” had been stowed away at the Royal Victorian Museum in London for the last thirteen years. After practicing for years, Tasha finally was able to slip through the laser grid guarding the pendant and then with her cat-like agility snuck out before anyone was the wiser. She spent the entire day with the priceless artifact in her cup holder as she drove around without a care in the world.
As she pulled up to her home, she was greeted by her assistant, Caroline.
“Ms. Young,” she said, bowing her head slightly. “Your guest is awaiting you on the veranda.”
“Guest?” asked Tasha.
“Yes ma’am,” said Caroline. “Ms. Jacqueline Yun. She told me you were expecting her.”
“I wasn’t,” said Tasha. She handed Caroline the pendant, which she had folded up in a cloth. “Put that in the… east wing gallery. And be careful, it’s rather priceless.”
Tasha hopped up the stairs to her home, tossed her keys on the table, and walked through her intricately decorated mansion to the back door. There she saw her mysterious visitor, Jacqueline Yun, standing alone on the top level of the veranda. Champagne glass in hand, she took a sip as Tasha approached her.
“I’m sorry Ms. Yun?” said Tasha. “I wasn’t expecting your visit.”
Jacqueline turned and said with a sweet smile on your face, “That’s quite alright. I wasn’t expecting you to expect me. Wonderful bubbly by the way.”
“Thank you,” said Tasha. “I must admit though I’m confused. Have we met before?”
“In a way,” said Jacqueline. “But in the way you mean, no. This is the first time we’ve technically laid eyes on each other in the flesh.”
“In the flesh?” asked Tasha.
“Well yes,” said Jacqueline. “I saw you on the security monitor stealing my gold belt plaques. You know the ones? 14 of them in a set. Early Ming dynasty. I was quite impressed at how you were able to squeeze your way into such a tight spot without being noticed.”
“I know the set,” said Tasha. “However you’re mistaken. Zhao Guo used to own that set. I stole it from him.”
“I am Zhao Guo,” said Jacqueline. “As well as Ding Luoyang, Shi He, and Pan ZhenKang. From whom you have also stolen numerous items. I’ve simply come to take them back.”
Jacqueline downed the rest of her champagne and placed the glass on the railing. She smiled at Tasha. It was a warm yet threatening smile, as if it was a tightly applied hug. It affirmed her position towards Tasha while also cracking open the door for an opportunity at peace. Tasha however had zero intention of reaching a peaceful resolution.
“Oh Caroline,” called Tasha.
Caroline began walking towards the veranda when all of a sudden out of the shadows a pair of long-legs flashed upwards towards the assistant’s face. Caroline’s head snapped backwards as she stumbled. A young, tanned woman revealed herself and cut Caroline off from Tasha and her boss.
“Meet Kiki,” said Jacqueline. “She’s really good. Hopefully yours is too.”
With that Caroline and Jacqueline’s own assistant had engaged in combat. Caroline squared up and began to try to put up a defense against her assailant’s bombardment of strikes. The fight carried them back into the home, where Caroline had the home field advantage. She knew where the corners were, where the slight divots in the floorplan cradled, and most importantly where the lighting could make a difference. So, as her opponent fought her back through the foyer she didn’t panic. She was willing to give up ground to the long-reaching strikes of her opponent all the way to the living room.
That’s when Caroline made sure to mind the step. Kiki however did not know there was a slight dip in the battlefield. This caused an ever so slight stumble, but that was all Caroline needed. She took Kiki’s outstretched arm by the elbow and wrist. With her right foot pivoting and her hips snapping, Caroline flung Kiki backwards into a stolen Monet painting hanging on the wall. The frame shook but the painting remained in-tact. That was until Caroline came barreling toward Kiki and slammed herself into the stunned girl’s frame. Then the artwork unfortunately did tear a bit. Caroline thought her boss would forgive her, however. As long as she won the fight.
It was Kiki’s turn to go on the defensive now. She had to get used to her bearings. In the wood-paneled room with treasures mounted on the wall, she took stock in what could possibly be used as weapons. Nothing significant jumped out at her and soon she found herself falling by the knees into a Victorian-era fainting couch. Caroline took advantage of Kiki’s vulnerable position and slammed her fist straight into the slender woman’s stomach. Kiki wheezed. Caroline smiled. She took a handful of Kiki’s dark hair and said, “Oh this will be fun.”
Tasha and Jacqueline meanwhile hadn’t moved. They watched as their assistants carried on inside the house. After they turned the corner and were out of sight, the two bosses turned their attention to each other.
“Do you really want to do that?” asked Tasha as she gestured inside the home.
“What else did you have in mind?” asked Jacqueline.
Tasha looked Jacqueline up and down. The slightly older woman had opted for a pair of black shorts, no doubt because of the balmy temperature but also perhaps to show off her well-defined legs. Tasha meanwhile had on her favorite candy apple red shorts. Instantly both women knew what they each had in common. They both loved their legs.
“How about I take you down to the garden and we simply squeeze one another until one of us gives up or passes out?” asked Tasha.
“Seems agreeable to me,” replied Jacqueline.
Tasha led her infiltrator down the stone steps and past the pool. They took the path to the left past the hedges and into the immaculately kept garden. Tasha pointed out a soft patch of grass where the two could engage and Jacqueline found it satisfactory for their needs. The two women stretched until they felt warmed up enough and then lied down on the grass parallel to each other.
Tasha’s legs hooked around Jacqueline’s midsection. Jacqueline fastened her legs around Tasha’s torso. They each locked their ankles. With a nod from each fighter, they counted down from three.
Then the squeezing began.
Caroline was enjoying throwing her opponent all around the living room. She hadn’t had a proper fight in months, and usually she was regulated to the average petty thief who thought the home was an easy target. Every once in a while she got one of those SPA or STONE agents on her plate, but those were like lavish feasts. They were rare occasions. This woman though, whose name she didn’t even know, she was a decent enough stand in. Even if Caroline was currently kicking her ass like nobody’s business, she at least had some level of competency that her past few opponents lacked. What was more impressive was she didn’t even seem frazzled. Even as she got dropped for the second time in the fight, she popped back up and continued to fight back. Caroline found the spirit impressive, if not misguided.
Their fight had carried over into the hall that led to Tasha’s in-home theater. Caroline forced Kiki into this hall because of how narrow it was. Kiki’s long limbs couldn’t find the space to maximize their offensive capabilities. Likewise, Caroline found herself limited as well, but she didn’t need to use her length. Caroline was winning the fight. She could simply continue her straight-up assault. An assault that Kiki had no answer to.
The brunette had found Caroline’s chin to be made of granite. Every strike, every punch, every kick, every knee, everything she tried seem to just graze off of her blonde opponent like she had just been tickled. Meanwhile, every time Caroline connected it shook Kiki to her bones. The blonde had superior power, that much was clear. And as Kik found herself constricted by the tight hallway, she continued to take a beating. Right before they reached the door to the theater, Caroline’s uppercut dropped Kiki for the third time. The brunette’s jaw hung open. The blonde took a handful of her hair again and stood her up. Caroline lifted up her right leg and slammed it into Kiki’s gut. The brunette flew backwards through the door behind her. She collapsed to the floor as Caroline marched towards her.
Both Tasha and Jacqueline believed they possessed the advantage in their little scissors contest. The truth was that both had found the other to be an excellent match.
Tasha was astounded at the sheer amount of pressure Jacqueline could apply. The cat thief hated to admit it, but she couldn’t squeeze as tight as Jacqueline could at her peak. She felt her body had been placed inside one of those hydraulic presses. Her ribs bent inwards as Jacqueline flexed. She had picture-perfect form as well. The right amount of extension, the subtle arch of her back to squeeze every last bit of strength into her thighs. Tasha was deeply impressed.
That did not mean though that Tasha was losing the fight, however. Jacqueline was equally impressed with her opponent. Tasha’s squeezes were lasting five seconds longer than Jacqueline’s on average. The blonde had a stamina that the Empress did not. With the quivering dimples that formed in her thighs with each flex, Tasha clung onto Jacqueline’s midsection longer and longer with each exchange.
Neither woman could find themselves at an advantage. Their legs and abdomens met in a war of attrition. One of them would have to give ground first. Neither of them had any clue as to who it would be, however. They were stalemating so far, and both of them were content with that for the time being.
Meanwhile, the fight between Caroline and Kiki could not in any way be called a stalemate. Caroline was straddling Kiki in a massive leather movie seat in Tasha’s private theater. She reigned down punishment across Kiki’s face. Slamming her fists in alternating right-left swipes to the jaw. Kiki’s head snapped from side to side, her arms pinned to her torso by Caroline’s legs.
Caroline had to give her clearly out-matched opponent some respect. Not many women could take punch after punch from her and stay conscious. Not even Agents Red or Tea had eaten this many punches and kept their eyes open. Caroline officially categorized Kiki as a “tough bitch” in her mind before taking another huge swing down at her with her right fist.
The blonde grabbed Kiki by the shirt and dragged her up to her feet. The brunette could offer no resistance in her current state. Even as Caroline lifted her up off of the floor, Kiki could only roll her head back and let her jaw hang slack. The big blonde held her opponent there for a moment, soaking in her dominance, and then drove Kiki back-first to the floor. The slender girl went limp. Caroline planted her foot on Kiki’s chest.
“I expected more,” said Caroline.
She took Kiki by the shirt once more and began to drag her through the house, making her way towards the veranda. The fight was over. If Caroline showed up then Jacqueline would have no chance of escape. Kiki had failed her boss. Caroline was intent on showing her the proof.
Tasha was not faring as well as her assistant, however. In fact it seemed clear as the scissors competition wore on that while her stamina trumped Jacqueline’s, the pure strength of the Empress’s legs would be the definitive factor of this fight.
Tasha held on for as long as she could, but Jacqueline’s vice had ensnared her like it had ensnared countless victims throughout the years. Tasha’s own legs began to loosen. That’s when Jacqueline realized she was going to win. She cranked up the pressure even more, something Tash had no idea was even possible. Jacqueline shifted her hips so that she took a more top position. The blonde couldn’t beat her back.
Spasms coursed throughout Tasha’s back. Her ribs bent inwards more and more with every passing second. Her legs had completely given out. Instead she began to squeal as Jacqueline pumped pure agony into her nerves. Tasha had lost the contest. It wasn’t even a question anymore. The only question remaining would be how long until Jacqueline would show mercy.
She planned on showing very little.
Caroline brought the limp Kiki out onto the veranda, but there was no sight of either of their bosses. However, she heard Tasha’s shrieks of pain carry over from the garden. She dragged Kiki behind her down the steps and through the grass. Entering the garden, she found her boss in a similar state to Kiki: limp, unconscious, and utterly broken.
The blonde lifted Kiki up in front of her and said, “Okay now stop.”
Jacqueline looked up with surprise.
“So, you beat Kiki,” said Jacqueline. “Very interesting…”
“Let Ms. Young go,” demanded Caroline.
“Hmm,” said Jacqueline as she positioned herself behind Tasha. She applied a choke-hold, keeping the small blonde as leverage. “I wonder if maybe we’re going at this the wrong way.”
“What do you mean?” asked Caroline.
“Well,” said Jacqueline. “It’s clear my bodyguard was no match for you. And it’s clear your boss couldn’t handle me. So… why should we stick with the losers?”
“Tasha pays me very, very well,” said Caroline.
“Oh I’m sure she does,” said Jacqueline. “And I’m sure I can’t match your current salary. But answer me this, beautiful: Are you happy here? Fighting off the petty thief who you know is under your level. Engaging with SPA Agents every once in a blue moon? Oh yeah, I know… Kiki did her research on you. Fat load of good it did for her.”
“So what,” said Caroline. “A job offer? More danger? That’s your pitch.”
“That’s exactly my pitch,” said Jacqueline. “Look, we both know I can’t beat you one on one. I mean you fucked Kiki up by the looks of it. However, if you’re satisfied with that being your one significant fight of the year then so be it. Come on over and kick the shit out of me… but if you come work for me I can promise you SPA, STONE, and TYME agents like crazy. All of them want me behind bars, and you’ll be in charge of making sure that doesn’t happen…”
Caroline considered the offer. It was true that while her pay was astounding, there was little satisfaction in her daily routine. Caring over artifacts, preparing tea for Tasha, taking coats for visitors while they drank expensive champagne. This life wasn’t for her. Defeating Kiki gave her a thrill she hadn’t felt in months. Imagine if that thrill could happen all of the time.
The blonde dropped Kiki to the ground.
?“So, anything you want to take before we go?” asked Caroline.
Jacqueline released Tasha and stood.
“You know what,” said Jacqueline. “I think I’m taking the most valuable thing with me.”
The Empress left the Cat’s fortress behind. She had infiltrated, pillaged, and come out with the most prized possession the Cat owned: Caroline Royce. Meanwhile, the Cat slept in her garden. Completely unaware of the swap that had been made. Kiki wouldn’t find out until she awoke that she had been ditched, traded in for a superior asset. The Empress had staked her claim and the Cat had been woefully incapable of stopping her.
