"Have a little humor in all that you do and your life will be a lot longer and a lot easier."
My name is Sally
I come from the valley
And this is my story
I hope it won’t bore thee
One day
My mommy sent me
To my local grocery
The weather was bad
And I felt pretty mad
And I really needed to pee
I finally got to the store
My mom want three eggs and a boar
But when I approached the door
I was confronted by a whore
She looked extremely strange
And begging everybody for change
But I didn’t have time
To deal with this slime
So I tried to walk out of her range
She had dirty blonde hair and blue eyes
And she had a tattoo on her thigh
She had rings in her ears
And her navel was pierced
And she looked like she was very high
She walked up to me with a grin
Her teeth looked like shit stuck to stickpins
She said “I need cash quick
To get this rash fixed
And to pay for a breast enhancement”
“It’s too late
I’m quite worried”
I said as I hurried,
But she spat in my face
Making vision quite blurried
She said, “Bitch, I’ve got an agenda
And you’re just another pretender
Because I need that cash
And I’ll kick your ass
And then to hell will be where I send ya”
Now I was no fighter; I’m meek
But once that bitch spat on my cheek
And raised her voice
I had no choice
In letting my fists beat her weak
She grabbed my tit and she gave it a squeeze
It dropped me right to my knees
I could not describe
The pain that was inscribed
By her nails as they dug into me
She hit my belly and gave me a slap
Then sat on me and now I was trapped
But I gave her a knee
To her 24 hour a day open pussy
And I hoped that I wouldn’t catch clap
She fell on her butt, but got up
And I asked if she had enough
She responded in kind
By putting me on my behind
With a vicious right uppercut
She stepped on my belly and I did cry
I truly felt like I would die
But I remembered my hero Bruce Lee
And gave her a leg sweep
And then a savate kick to the eye
I didn’t really want to admit
But I was enjoying this
The fighting was hot
Though the whore certainly was not
And she said, “Is that all that you’ve got?”
I could see her bush was exposed
It looked like all thorns and no rose
But my toenails were sharp
And I intended to mark
My turf with move of my own
I stuck my toe in her pussy and she started to hum
Then I punched her in the belly and she let out an “UM!”
I was in control now
I was beating that cow
But she started fucking herself with the handle on a bottle of rum
I said “stop jerking off, dork”
And I stabbed her in the ass with a spork
Her ass was indeed cheap
‘Cause the spork sunk in real deep
And I smacked her with three chops of pork
She hit me in the face with a plum
I figured this bitch was real dumb
What kind of street prude
Would fight with a fruit
So I yanked out her navel piercing with my thumb
She gave out a cry of pain
And fell to the floor all the same
But I couldn’t control my bladder
And it didn’t really matter
To me as I pissed in her face
And that’s the story of how
I went to store and got milked by a cow
It may not be the bomb
And it might be a little too dumb
But would you like it if it was about my aunt vs my mom?
