Cast of Characters:Me: The foolish little Cajun girl who…despite numerous beatings… refuses to keep her mouth shut or back down from any challenges. Passionately hates Gemma…even though Gemma really hasn’t done anything to her.
Her: The mouthy little tattooed English girl who actually can fight, and loves to hurt and humiliate others. Hates Joni worse than any other…because Joni has been the cause of many of her recent misfortunes…including paying people to injure her ribs and hit her with a taxi. Of course, she still
Rox.
Him: He’s still with me. His name is still Joe.
Them: The pair of professional athletes who were hired by the mysterious “Emma Fox” to destroy Me and Her. They are played by FCF legends
Kayla and
Marie B..
Emma Fox: The mysterious force behind all this foolishness. Me and Her still have no clue who she is.
The Referee: Our favorite sexy Canadian, the one and only Boche.
Her Companion: The guy traveling with Gemma, hawksmoor. He may or may not really be on our side.
The Tall Announcer Woman: Obviously one of Emma Fox’ cronies, and she is there to make sure Gemma and I mind our manners. Played by the beautiful
JessikaAct I (The Invitation)
The Setting: My computer room, of course. Sitting in the very same chair Traveler Jane handcuffed me to. One day while surfing the web I notice that I have an email from a mysterious address.
Dear Bitch: (Why do most emails and letters addressed to me start off that way? I sadly lament.)
I see that you have made a complete fool of yourself in your never-ending search for me. (Actually, I forgot who I was looking for, but…).
Not to worry, though. You will find me soon enough. I will see to that. I’m looking forward to finally meeting you in person. You are such an interesting little girl; I can’t wait to add you to my collection.(What the fuck is she talking about? Collection?)
I find it very humorous that you mistook that poor little English girl for me. I am also amused that she had to hurt you badly because of your mistake. That really makes me smile. I can’t wait to hurt you myself. But first you must prove that you are worthy of a meeting. If you want revenge for your stolen story, then come to the listed address on Friday of next week. If you don’t show up, I will haunt your every dream.
(listed address)
I am looking forward to meeting you in person. The thought of you beaten, broken and begging at my feet keeps me up late into the night.
Forever yours,
Emma
xxxWhat the Hell is that all about? I hadn’t thought of Emma Fox since Gemma tried to drown me in a pool of mud! I would very much like to see Gemma again, but this Emma chick sounds nuts! I feel I still owe Gemma a good beating. Joe did stare at her boobs like the sleaze bag he is. And she is a fucking tramp! God, I hate her!
But this Emma Fox gal is right. She did steal my story. Which is what got all this crap started. Maybe I should show up next Friday. I would like to meet her and congratulate her on writing a fine story, and for causing me to get my ribs broken. Twice! Fucking BITCH! Damn right I’ll be there!
Oooohhh….chocolate! Yummy!
Act II (I Accept!)
The Setting: Our bedroom. Joe and I are discussing my latest quest for adventure.
“Are you nuts?” Joe exclaims after I tell him about the mysterious email and my willingness to accept this strange woman’s invitation. “What if she’s some psycho who wants to kill you!”
“Joe, we already know she’s some psycho who wants to kill me. What’s the harm in meeting with her?”
“What’s the harm, she may want to KILL YOU! Let that sink into your brain matter for a minute!”
“Joe, don’t be mean. I just want to meet with her and see what she’s like”
“You’re crazy!”
“Then why are you still with me?”
“Who the Hell else would put up with your nonsense? Hell, I enjoy your misadventures, but you’re gonna get really hurt one of these days. Besides, you have a cute butt.”
“You’re so sweet. You’re also an ass!”
“You’re going to do this no matter what I say, aren’t you?”
“Most likely.”
“I’ll call the hospital and have the ER staff on standby.”
“Fuck you, smartass.”
“Bzzzp.”
Act III (The Wait)
The Setting: My screwy everyday life. Most of my days are spent pondering what this is all about. I keep getting bizarre emails from “Emma Fox.” They range from weird all the way to fucking strange. Some are even threatening. All are taunting. I get pictures of dead people, burning war machines, girls in cages, animals, dead animals, pro athletes, and pictures of myself. Obviously, Ms. Fox is having me followed. Now I sit in the house all day with the curtains drawn.
“She’s stalking you! We have to call the police,” Joe implores after I get an email with images of me walking from my car and into the supermarket along with images of animals devouring women tied to poles in an ancient Roman amphitheater. I know Joe is probably right. She is stalking me. But I prefer to handle things my way. What’s the harm? (I am kinda dumb, right?)
“You’re a cop, Joe. You already know about it.”
“You know what I mean, Joni. We need an official report.”
“So, officially take a report.”
“You know I can’t. I have a vested interest in this. I’m biased. I’ll call and have someone come by.”
“Joe, please don’t. I want to know what she’s up to.”
“Hasn’t she made it clear? She wants to hurt you, Joni!”
“Look at the pictures, Joe. She’s had chances. Why hasn’t she taken one?”
“She’s playing with you. Just like a toy. She eventually will.”
“Then let her try.”
“Damn, you’re stupid!”
“Joe don’t be an asshole.”
“Sorry, honey.”
“Damn right ‘sorry honey!’”
“Bzzzp.”
Act IV (The Big Day)
The Setting: Joe decided that I couldn’t be trusted to meet with the mysterious Emma Fox by myself, so he decided to drive me to the address. The address happens to be a building in the Warehouse District not far from the Super Dome. The crumbling old warehouse appears to be abandoned. That is until we walk inside.
“What a dump!” Joe exclaims as we walk toward the decrepit old building. “I haven’t been here since I was a patrolman in the Garden District. It hasn’t changed much since then. Probably got worse.”
“Joe, I’m scared.”
“About time you got scared.”
“Don’t be an ass. What if she has a gun?”
“I’ve got a gun.”
“But she’ll shoot me first.”
“Then I’ll shoot her.”
“What good will that do me?”
“She’ll be dead. I’m probably a better shot.”
“That’s still not very reassuring.”
“Just stating the facts.”
“Joe? Shut the fuck up.”
“Yes dear.”
As we walk toward the building, I can’t help but feel like I’m being watched. My fears are confirmed when we approach a side door and it swings open from the inside. A rather large black man steps out and says, “They’re waiting for you in the big room down the hall.” Joe thanks him, and the big guy replies, “Anything for a motha fuckin’ po-liceman.” Joe stops and looks at him for a moment, but then shakes his head and we walk toward the big room down the hall.
We walk through the open entryway into a big room which was obviously an office at one time. But the building’s architecture is the last thing on my mind. Sitting on top of an old desk is my old nemesis Gemma…and she looks none too happy to see me. The feeling is definitely mutual.
“You fucking little BITCH!!! I knew you were behind this from the start! I’m going to make you pay for dragging me all the way to this miserable fucking place again!” Gemma yells when she sees me.
“I didn’t drag you here, cxnt!”
“Bullshit, who else would you fucking whore!” Gemma screams as she rushes at me. Just as she prepares to swing, the guy with her grabs her by the waist and pulls her back to the desk. Joe grabs me by the waist, even though I haven’t moved. Something isn’t right. Gemma and I just glare at each other with passionate hatred. The intensity is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Our animosity is so palpable that I’m surprised the building didn’t implode from it. The burning hatred intensifies and we break our glare only when a large black woman who looks like a voodoo priestess walks in to summon us.
“You two come wit’ me, you.”
“Where are we going,” I ask.
“Wit’ me. You stupid or somthin’?”
“You don’t have to be ugly.”
“You want yo’ ass kicked now, you?
I just shut up and followed her after that.
Act V (Mass Confusion)
The Setting: Gemma and I…along with our entourage…are being led down another corridor toward a large, well lit chamber. What awaits us, neither of us can imagine, so we are both apprehensive. But we can’t refrain from taking little jabs at each other.
“Watch where you’re walking, Bitch!”
“Ow…that was my foot you little cxnt!”
“Stop elbowing me!”
“Damn, watch it whore!”
“Walk over there.”
“Fuck you.”
“You’d like to wouldn’t you, Dyke.”
“Trailer park trash.”
“Let go of my hair!”
“Ow, you bitch!”
Apparently, the Marie Laveau clone has finally had enough of our antics. We found ourselves standing on our tiptoes with each of our hair being held in each of the black woman’s hands. “Listen you two. If you don’ behave yo’selves, I’m gonna beat youse asses right now, me. Now shut yo’ mouths, you.”
Gemma and I walked about ten yards apart and kept out mouths shut the rest of the way. The large woman finally led us into the large room that was obviously the main storage area of the warehouse. Once again, the building’s architecture isn’t what concerned me. The wrestling ring set in the middle of the room is what caught my attention. I looked at our very large hostess and asked, “Were we brought her to fight again?”
“Damn you dumb, girl! Jus’ shut da’ fuck up and you may learn somtin.’ Always runnin’ you mouth. Jus’ be quiet. I gonna hurt you myself if you don’t, me. Now come over here wit’ me. Jus’ you two.”
She led Gemma and I down another hallway, albeit a much shorter one. I was really scared now, and when I looked at Gemma, I thought I saw a little fear in her eyes too. I took some satisfaction in knowing that this ‘brave’ bitch was a scared. (Haha) The woman stopped at a door and opened it for us. She said “This is where you change at. They’s some bags in there wit’ you names on them. Put on what in them. I be back fo’ you shortly. You two behaves youselves. If I hears a ruckus, I gonna beat both you asses, me.” With that she leaves the room.
Gemma and I look at each other then she shrugs and walks into the room. Sure enough there are two duffle bags lying on a table….her name on one and mine on the other. Apprehensively…I guess she thought an alligator was going jump out at her…Gemma opened hers. She looks in and gasps! I thought to myself, “My God! Maybe there’s a snake in there!” But Gemma reaches in and pulls out the smallest red bikini I have ever seen. It is mostly just strings. A Band Aid would cover more than that thing! It is cute, though. I wish I had one like it for the beach over in Florida. I hate that bitch for getting it!
I slowly unzip my bag and look inside it. Of course there are no snakes in it, but there is a powder blue thong….and no top. What the fuck! Why does she get a top and I don’t? Emma fucking hates me! She wants me to be self aware of my small boobs! Fucking cxnt! I glare at Gemma as she nearly falls over laughing. cxnt, bitch, whore!
As instructed, we both dress in the contents of our appropriate duffle bags.
Act VI (Unbearable Wait)
The Setting: Inside our dressing room waiting for the black woman to return. We are both apprehensive and a little scared, but neither is willing to admit it.
Gemma and I stare at each other for a few minutes letting our mutual hatred boil down to a low simmer. We don’t know what’s in store for us, but we both would agree…if we could agree…that whatever it is, it won’t be good for us (unless I can get my hands on her…that is….oooohhhh….a mouse!!! Eeek!)
“Why are you sitting on the table?” Gemma asks, staring at me with nothing but contempt.
“No reason,” I reply.
“Get down, you’re going to break it.”
“No I won’t.”
“Whatever. Just stop inching toward me. You’re making me nervous.”
“I’m not. I like it up here.”
Gemma rolls her eyes in exasperation then looks around the room. Her eyes stop at a small brown object scurrying across the concrete floor. “Oh, I see what you’re up to,” she says with a smirk.”
“Fuck you.”
“Coward.”
“Fucking cxnt,” I reply, blushing.
“How did I get into this mess with you? This is all your fault.” Gemma exclaims.
“You didn’t have to come over here. Why did you?”
“Why would I turn down a chance to hurt you again?”
“You’re such a bitch! Why waste the money coming over here when you could find someone to beat up in your own miserable country?”
“I didn’t spend any money. You sent me the plane tickets, remember? Or have you bleached your hair and killed a few more brain cells since then?”
“I didn’t send you tickets. I wouldn’t waste a dime on your sorry fatass.”
“Whatever, bitch.”
“How did you get the plane tickets? What is this all about?”
“You sent me etickets…along with your threatening email. I decided to come on over and finish this once and for all. I’m tired of you stalking me.”
“I haven’t sent you anything. I have been trying to forget you.”
“You should after the two poundings I gave you.”
“I kicked your ass once!”
“You had me hit by a taxi so you could win, you fucking bitch!”
“Well…I still won that time….”
“’I’m really going to enjoy breaking you again. You’ll be the one ‘beaten, broken and begging’ at MY feet.”
Where have I heard that phrase? I know I’ve heard it before! The email! “You fucking BITCH! You set this up!” I yell!
“What? Don’t try and blame this crap on me!”
“I fucking hate you! I’m going to put your ass back on that plane in a fucking bag!”
Apparently Gemma finally has enough. She jumps to her feet and shoves me. I stumble off the table and nearly step on the poor little mouse, but I manage to use my catlike reflexes to avoid the poor little thing! (Actually I stumble over top of him and he scurries back into his hole before I step on him…but I like my version better). I regain my balance and slap Gemma across the face. We claw and scratch at each others faces for a moment, but before we can go any farther, large hands grasp us by the hair and pull us back onto our tiptoes. The large black woman exclaims, “I though I tol’ you to behaves yo’selves. Get yo’ asses into the ring!”
She leads us both out of the room and into the main chamber by our hair.
Act VII (Why We Fight)
The Setting: Back into the main chamber. Several people now occupy the room. One is Joe. Another is the guy traveling with Gemma, she calls him ‘Hawk.’ A tall, cute guy standing in the ring wearing a black and white striped shirt and a pin that says, “Kiss Me, I’m Canadian.” A tall, slightly older woman wearing a business suit is also in the ring. As are two women dressed in bikinis. I assume they’re our opponents.
(Damn. I won’t get my hands on Gemma! Grrr…)
The large black woman leads us to the ring and tells us to climb in or she’d throw us in. We decide to go ahead and climb in. Once inside, the tall woman wearing the business suit walks up and surveys Gemma and I like we are cuts of meat at the butcher’s counter. I finally ask the obvious question, “Are you Emma Fox?” She replies with a curt, “Shut the fuck up.”
“Well, it was just a question. You don’t have to be rude.”
“Look Blondie, I said ‘shut the fuck up.’ I’ll explain who I am in a few minutes. Right now I have to make sure Ms. Fox’ instructions are being followed as ordered.”
“So, you work for her?”
She grabs me by the throat and growls, “I said ‘shut the fuck up!’ What part of that do you not understand?” She squeezes until I start turning blue. To my surprise, Gemma comes to my rescue. “Hey Bitch, let her go!”
Releasing me, the tall woman turns to Gemma. “What did you call me?”
“I called you a bitch. How fair would this be if you choke out my partner?”
“Listen you tattooed little slut, I don’t give a damn what you think is fair. You were brought here for a reason. I’m going to do my job. Even if it means crippling one or both of you. If you try and stop me, I’ll make you pay dearly. Now, you shut the fuck up too.”
Gemma and the woman stare at each other for a moment, then Gemma looks away. She and I glance at each other and we nod in mutual agreement that we should just ‘shut the fuck up.’ Later neither of us will admit that we are scared of the older woman, but we both obviously are.
The tall woman walks back to the center of the ring and motions for Gemma and I to meet her there. She also motions for the other two women to come to the middle with us. We all approach her and cautiously eye each other. Neither of the other two women have expressions on their faces. Both appear to be cold as ice. Then the tall spoke:
“Welcome to round one. My name is Jessika. As you know this engagement was arranged by Ms. Emma Fox, for her enjoyment. The four of you were chosen as participants based on certain skills that you possess.” She glances at me, “Or certain lack of skills,” (Hey, Bitch…what the fuck does that mean?!!! Grrr…). “I would like to take this opportunity to welcome all of you and extend Ms. Fox’ gratitude on her behalf. As you may or may not know, this will be the first of five encounters between the four of you. You will act as teams. The first encounter is obviously today. Before you leave you will be given instructions on where the second encounter will take place. Today, Ms. Fox has requested that the encounter be a no holds barred wrestling match in this ring. You will act as a tag team. There will be no time limit. There are also no rules, except only one member of each team is allowed in the ring at one time. Victory will be achieved by pinning one of your opponent’s shoulders to the mat for a count of ten. Ms. Fox is strongly urging you to make sure your opponent is unconscious when you pin her. Of course, that is just a recommendation. The referee is here only to make sure tags are done correctly, and to count pins. The winning team will be handsomely rewarded after each round. The overall winners will also be well compensated.” Looking at me again, “Ms. Fox will also pay any hospital bills which may be incurred.” (Hey! Fuck you!!! Grrr…) “Now, I would like for you to take a moment to meet with your opponents. There are some things about each of you I think the others would very much like to know.”
She steps aside, and we are left facing our opponents.
Our opponents are eye us as we size them up. They look like a very odd pair standing side by side, but one thing is instantly obvious....they are both gorgeous! One blonde and one brunette. The blonde is the smaller of the pair. Jessika sees me looking at the shorter girl explains that 'Marie' is a championship gymnast. She is also an accomplished martial artist and wrestler. 'Marie' is shorter than me...maybe 4'11" to my 5'2". I definitely outweigh her at 120 lbs. She might weigh 95 to 100 lbs. She has shoulder length straight hair and ice blue eyes. She has the face of an angel, but her eyes show an intense cold calculation that sends shivers down my spine! Even though I'm bigger than her, I am very intimidated by her icy stare. I’m even more intimidated by her black thong that shows off her incredible, muscular gymnasts legs.
The other girl is quite a bit larger than Marie. But she has the body of a Greek goddess! She is at least 5'9" and she probably weighs about 140 lbs. Compared with Gemma's 5'3", 115 lbs frame, she is a giant! Her yellow g-string bikini leaves little to the imagination. Her dark hair is worn straight and her eyes contain the humor and mirth that her partner's doesn't have. But her sheer physical presence is as intimidating as her stare. Jessika explains that 'Kayla' is a professional track and field athlete. 'Kayla' has participated in sporting events all over the world. The look in her eyes is a unnerving. It is somewhere between cruel and tauntingly inane.
As we size each other up, Gemma chuckles and looks at Marie, “When did they start letting ten year olds fight?” Marie looks at her for a moment, then responds by driving a straight right into MY nose! I clutch my face and drop to my knees as the referee quickly orders the laughing Kayla and Marie to their corner.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I scream at Gemma after I get up and we walk back to our corner. She simply laughs and says, “Shut up, Blondie.” I respond by grabbing her hair and we fall into our corner pulling and slapping at each other.
Over in the other corner, the referee finally gets Marie and Kayla calmed when Kayla blurts out, “Look at those two!” She says to the ref, “Are you going to do something about that, or can I go over and wedge myself between them?” The poor ref rushes across the ring and separates us then orders us to turn our backs on each other like grade-schoolers.
“Hey, she started it!”
“Shut the fuck up, blonde bimbo!”
The ref calms us down then notices that Kayla and Marie followed him across the ring. He shuffles them back to their corner before more trouble can erupt. Once there, Kayla again blurts out, “Hey! Look at them now!”
The poor ref drops his head and sighs as he turns back to our corner expecting to find Gemma and me fighting again. But this time we are locked body to body engaged in a deep, passionate kiss. Our hands are working slowly down the others’ back. The surprised referee yells out, “Stop that! I’m going to douse you two with a bucket of water!” He rushes across the ring and separates us again. Gemma and I stare at each other, both of us out of breathe, with a passionate gaze filled with hatred and lust.