Okay, this may sound strange, but I'll talk about the grape. If it's more relatable, you can imagine potato or grain instead, as it's related to alcohol, its consumption, the legal high, the consequences and how any of this anything to do with your question.
Way before the public display and examination of malcontented human behavior more prominently known as sexual assault, women, independent of culture and timeframe they exist in, have a whisper network for almost everything. This is because of several interdependent reasons sexualizing other humans have been overlooked or ignored. In this scenario, the women are the grape. It can be fermented into a cheap wine, consumed in unnumbered quantity (the commercialization of sex) or it can be something more of a top shelf.
So, the question revolves around exclusivity made being available to the masses and if that's possible. Direct questions are rarely fruitful and not just because we're being seen as a creep. The main problem is, that women, and rightfully so, confront the idea of them being reduced to a sex object. It's even ickier with a relative. She knows the question involves imagining her fighting in skimpy clothes. The woman who could have been there at your birth or your christening, or both. I'm not claiming she actually did fight and just waived it away... but I do say it's awkward either way.
Having said that, in accounts less than fingers on my hands, I did get women to talk about their actual fights or grievances that either almost led to fights, or it'd been a fight between men. The core idea to ask someone you know well is not a bad one, but caveat emptor, it better be someone you're prepared to lose, come bad to worse. Both parties need to know each other really well, including, but not limited to the fact she might talk about something she'd never tell her girlfriend. Being ladylike might be a stereotype we encourage women to have but it does entail keeping certain things from getting out. Especially the judgment a fellow woman would dole out, that aggression wasn't the best answer. On our part, the guy (or the bisexual/lesbian gal) needs to reveal something of equal value too.
Given the sh*t many women go through, having a partner who is really by their side thick and thin is a rare commodity. Which closes off the wine/brandy comparison. Consumption is advised to be irregular. No, I'm not equating women to alcohol, I'm equating the dangers of overconsumption. This doesn't damage the liver but can take a toll on the soul and on the relationship with the person you're asking. Cultivation takes time, something I learned the hard way. By not respecting them I disrespected myself too. If I knew then what I know now, I'd advise my younger self to leave the control of the situation always with the woman. Once she can accept that a sexual fetish is not equal to her being a sex object, she'll be more relaxed to share.
