VALENTINE'S DAY MIXUP
Between our busy schedules--my house showings and discussions with my realtor, Joan's service hours at school, income tax preparation, and daily school transportation for Andrea and my son--and our increasingly frosty relationship (except for our intense and climactic bedfights, we rarely speak directly to each other), Joan and I manage to botch our first Valentine's Day together.
Andrea's February after-school activity is the School Play--she has landed a plum role as the Lobster in a musical version of The Little Mermaid. The role involves numerous vocal solo's, and enables her to display her acting and vocal talent. It also keeps her away from Kelsey between now and May, so that the two enemies don't arrange or stumble into a school catfight which will cost Andrea her high school diploma. The drawback is that the practice hours are long, and I frequently end up driving her home.
Oddly, Andrea has not yet gotten her drivers' license. She has no interest--upon graduation, she plans on living in a city like Chicago or San Francisco or Austin where no car is necessary and just Uber-ing everywhere. This is a direct contrast with Joan and my generation, where a license was not only a rite of passage to adulthood, but a gateway to freedom and sex. But Andrea's phone and Instagram and FaceTime and SnapChat meet all her 18 year old sex needs--no car, or license, necessary.
I come to enjoy the car rides home with her. Our talks in the car replace the companionship missing in my relationship with her mother.
My son, meanwhile, is excelling on the school's Math Olympiad team. They practice problems after school everyday, then once a month have a large intra-school math meet. Since the afternoon practice sessions end at the same time as Joan's school service hours do, she gets into the habit of driving him home after school.
In Joan and my bedfights (what we do together in bed has long since shed any remote resemblance to lovemaking), our bonding with each others' child becomes a topic for taunting and teasing. As in:
> Andrea was telling me how well one of her solo's went in practice today. It's doing wonders for her confidence.
> <<<<Pinching and twisting my biceps mercilessly>>>> Your son was telling ME what girls and school he's attracted to. And what type of women outside of school.
> <<<<Mounting Joan, and clawing at her nipples>>>> I bet that had to hurt, hearing how different the women he desires are from you.
> <<<<slapping me on the side of the face, tugging my ears>>>> Show what you know, out of touch bitch. He lllluuuvvvvs tall women. He calls us...Amazons.
> Slut.
> Bitch.
> Whore. <<<<I angrily mount Joan's face, if for no other reason than to silence her shrill voice telling me hurtful things about my son. Joan isn't "listening" to my son's sexual confessions--she's shaping and forming them. And I hate her for it. Joan bucks desperately to escape my pin, and maneuver that is successful most nights, but not tonight--I must be more angry and determined than usual. I cum into her face, as Joan simultaneously finishes herself with her fingers. We roll away from each other, doing whatever the opposite of cuddling is called even though we both desire it. But we are both too proud to call a truce. If my house was in any condition to sleep in, I would leave right now and spend the night there. Joan's feet and mine accidentally touch, and we kick each other away. We resent each other even more than when we started tonight.>>>>>
If we were a straight couple, now would be where the makeup sex would start. But we're a f-f couple, both in our first f-f relationship. Neither of us knows how to make the first move towards reconciling.
So, instead, what happens next.....happens.
The next night is Valentine's. Time has slipped away on us, and neither Joan nor I have made date plans for our first Valentine's as a couple. And, anyways, Andrea's play practice is running late. I'm in the parking lot, waiting for her, to drive her, home.....I guess. Or, maybe.....do you suppose she'd like to go to dinner with me? Ya.....fat chance, Barb.....I'm sure every place is sold out tonight.
Well, wait.....then.....how?.....Joan is texting me. It's a selfie.....her and my son.....out at dinner. I text her back.
> How'd you get a table? Someone cancel?
> I made the reservation a couple of weeks ago.
> For you and me? Or you and him?
> Oh.....I was keeping my options open.
> So, what are Andrea and I supposed to do for dinner, selfish bitch?
> I'm offering to bring you two home take out, dumb ass.
> Never mind. She and I will be fine. With food....and other things.
> What's that supposed to mean? Some stupid, awkward, clumsy, disgusting sexual double entendre???
> My son doesn't mind you texting while you have dinner with him?
> f u
> Cute. So your long messages WERE bothering him? His eyes wondering?!?, LIKE YOUR HUSBAND'S DID?

> f u i'm busy
> YOU texted ME, stupid shit. Don't wait up for Andrea and me.
> f u
> Fuck you, Joan
I wait for her retort, but none comes. I know she's itching to send one. The fact that she isn't typing must mean my guess was right--my son must have commented on, or at least noticed, her angry texting while they were at the table. He must have begun disengaging from their conversation. She must have noticed her multi-tasking skills were deficient--that she was failing at whatever sick scheme shd has planned for my son tonight, realizing she could make me jealous OR wine and dine him, but not both. Having to choose must have been frustrating to her.
But she's chosen. I become sad at what my parenting has exposed my son to.
Andrea climbs in the car. She sees tears welling in my eyes.
> Everything ok?
> No. I had a text fight with your mom.
> Over what?
> We....umm....aren't doing anything for Valentine's....apparently.
> <<<<<thinking>>>> That's sad.....can I help?
>....<<<<<<thinking>>>>....Do you wanna.....maybe....swing by Kelsey's house?....See what happens?
> <<<<thinking>>>>> Let's go.
To be continued......